


Fam21

by begora1030



Category: Day6 (Band), GOT7, Stray Kids (Band), TWICE (Band)
Genre: AU, Adoption, Alternate Universe - Age Changes, Angst, Anxiety, Broken Bones, Character Death, Death in Childbirth, Depression, F/M, Family Drama, Family Fluff, Fighting, First Kiss, Hospitals, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, JYP Family, M/M, Markson are great parents if it wasn't obvious yet, Minor Violence, Miscarriage, Multi, Past Abuse, Poor Sungjin, Pseudo-Incest, Secrets, Sick Character, Single Father Youngjae, Temper Tantrums, Triplets, Wonpil's a good friend
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-12
Updated: 2020-11-10
Packaged: 2020-12-13 22:49:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 38
Words: 80,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21005438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/begora1030/pseuds/begora1030
Summary: So this is just going to be a whole bunch of drabbles/oneshots that might or might not be connected. Like most of my other series, requests can be made and I'll include it in here. There will not be a schedule for this story... you've been warned.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> HI guys! Welcome back to another crack story of mine that I'm posting on a whim. I don't know why I got the urge to write Got7 as parents to Stray Kids and Day6 (especially because Day6 is mostly older than Got7), but I did. So I hope you enjoy!

Mark and Jackson, but mainly Jackson, had always wanted a big family. So adopting four boys was an easy decision. Mark had wanted all of their adopted children to be foreigners, the babies that had been abandoned in a different country without any guidance. 

The first to be chosen was an awkward four-year-old named Jaehyung. He already had big, thick glasses on his nose, he had to scrunch it constantly to push the glasses up onto the bridge of his nose. He was way too intelligent for his own good, with his nose stuck in a book or his hands on the play instruments in the toy room. 

Jackson instantly fell in love with the boy, trying to get the shy four-year-old to play with him whenever they visited the adoption center. The couple hadn’t been able to finalise the adoption until Jaehyung was six, but they celebrated like they had had the boy since his birth. 

Jaehyung settled into the Wang-Tuan household seamlessly. They decided to shorten his name to just Jae and he adjusted perfectly. His younger ‘brother’ Younghyun was not as lucky. 

Younghyun, Jae liked to call him Brian (“Daddy, that’s his English name, we use English names here!” Jae had protested for hours one night before bed time), was two years younger than Jae. He had had a mother and father, but he was left behind when his father received a job in Canada. They couldn’t afford to move with Younghyun for some irresponsible reason and he was found sitting on the steps of the foster care center in the middle of the night. Mark and Jackson had been called to see if they would foster Younghyun, or even adopt him if they all got along, and the men immediately agreed. 

Most nights and half of his days Younghyun was plagued with nightmares, screaming himself awake at odd hours of the night or sobbing after a nap until Mark came to cuddle him back to sleep. One night Jackson had come into Younghyun’s room and got toys thrown at him, the four-year-old wailing for “Mork!” and protesting Jackson’s very presence. 

They had fostered Younghyun for three years, put him in school and counselling, before Younghyun asked them if they were going to adopt him. “Don’t like being a Kang anymore, hyung,” Younghyun had admitted one night during bathtime. 

Jae had been overly excited to officially welcome Brian into the family. He had asked him constantly if he wanted to be a Tuan or a Wang, making Younghyun very confused, he thought he’d have a hyphenated name like the rest of the family. Mark had to assure him over dinner that he would be both, sending a death stare to a giggling Jae. 

When Jae was 12 and Brian was 10, Mark and Jackson received another call from the foster care center. It was about two Australians whose parents were killed in a car crash. Jackson gathered the boys and Mark and drove to meet them. 

“Chris and Felix, they both have Korean names but Chris doesn’t respond to it very often. They’re biological brothers, four-years and three months. We just need a place for them, the center is just overflowed right now.” Jihyo, the woman who had helped them adopt Younghyun and Jae, pleaded. 

“Ji, we wouldn’t be here if we didn’t want to take them home. Is it okay if we take both of them without having car seats? Or Jacks can go buy two if it’s not alright.” Mark was already holding Felix in his arms, staring at the small baby. 

Chris was staring at Mark and Felix, intent on protecting his brother from the new, strange man. Jackson did have to leave to buy new car seats while Mark filled out paperwork. He encouraged his boys to introduce themselves to Chris, but warning them not to be rude or mean to the four-year-old. 

Jae and Chris got along very well, Younghyun still too shy to properly hold a conversation with the Aussie. He had mistakenly commented on Chris’s accent and that made Chris shut his mouth. He refused to speak until they got back to the house and the Wang-Tuan boys went up to their rooms. 

Felix slept in Jackson and Mark’s room, despite Chris’s protests. When Jackson stepped out of the room in the morning with Felix to feed him, he almost tripped over the older brother. Chris had brought the pillow and blankets they had given him and slept outside the master bedroom. 

After two months of Chris doing the same routine and Mark and Jackson talking it over with much thought, Felix’s crib was moved into Chris’s room. It was right across from the men’s room and if the baby needed anything, they could rush over to him. 

Chris had grown to get along with the older boys, he didn’t mind the age gap of almost six and eight years. He even began to call them ‘hyung’ while speaking English. One morning, Mark crept into the Australians’ room and Chris had called out a confused ‘Dad?” Mark froze, his hands reaching for Felix in his crib. 

Mark was used to Jae and Younghyun calling him Dad or the occasional Daddy when they were tired or upset, but he never thought he’d hear it in a thick Australian accent. Even Felix, who had started babbling, called him “Ma.” 

He looked over to Chris’s bed, the now five-year-old was sitting up with his hair sticking in all directions. He was slowly blinking and adjusting to the semi-dark of the room. “Daddy?” He called again, noticing Mark was looking at him. 

“Yes, love?” Mark finally responded, getting over his shock. He decided to leave Felix in his crib a little longer, he was still sleeping anyway. He walked over to Chris, “Whats up, baby?” 

Chris flopped back down on his bed, “Don’ feel good, Daddy.” Mark lifted his hand to Chris’s forehead and felt the heat roll off the boy. He sighed before kissing the toddler’s hair. “It’s okay, sweetness. Go back to bed for awhile while the boys and Jacks get ready for the day. You’re gonna stay home from pre-k today, okay?” He expected Chris to be happy about missing school, but the small boy began to cry. 

Mark picked him up, making sure he still had his security blanket in his arms before carrying him across the hall to his and Jackson’s room. “Sseun, he’s sick. Just lay with him while I get Jae and Hyun up, kay?” Mark didn’t wait for a reply before placing Chris in Jackson’s arms and leaving the room. 

He was back in a half hour, bringing a sippy cup of apple juice and a half-awake Felix with him. Felix was handed off the Jackson, going for their daily shower. Mark sat Chris up and handed him the sippy cup. He worried that he wasn’t going to get medicine into the toddler, but he had added it to the apple juice upon Jae’s recommendation. 

While Jackson got ready for work and Jae and Younghyun got ready to head to school, Chris was allowed to watch cartoons. He fought to stay awake, telling Mark, who he was still referring to as Daddy, that he wanted his hyungs to say goodbye. 

Mark lifted Chris into his arms with an overexaggerated groan and brought him down to the living room. Jae was ready first, he placed a kiss to Chris’s head and ruffled his still messy hair. “Have fun in school, hyungie!” Chris yelled out before realising that gave him a headache. “Bribri! Kiss too,” Chris demanded in a much softer voice. 

Younghyun chuckled as he hugged Chris and pressed multiple kissed to Chris’s face. “Don’t be trouble for Dad, okay Channie?” Younghyun used the Australian’s Korean name to get back at him for using his English name. The pout on Chris’s face was worth it as he nodded, agreeing to be a good boy. 

Mark was yelling at Jackson to hurry up, Jae placed his hands over Chris’s ears to make the yelling not as loud. Mark apologised to Chris as he scooped him up into his arms. Chris just mumbled out “sweep, Daddy.” 

The toddler got what he wanted, his hyungs to say goodbye to him, and he could sleep now. Sleep seemed to take over the toddler’s small body quickly, he rested his head against Mark’s solid chest and closed his eyes. Jackson rushed down the stairs and placed soft kisses on both Mark’s and Chris’s cheeks before leaving with the older boys. 

Mark settled on the couch next to Felix’s playpen. The six month old was playing with a koala and kangaroo stuffed animal and quietly babbling to himself. Mark turned on the t.v. to watch a Netflix show he as in the middle of and held Chris close to his chest.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The triplets' backstory and meeting the band mates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is some fighting. It's not as graphic as some stories, but there is mentions of blood, yelling, and curse words. Be advise if you don't want to read.

Jinyoung and Jaebeom had always been the designated babysitters for the Wang-Tuan boys when Jackson was on a work trip in China or America and Mark was caught up at the college grading papers. The couple loved looking after the two boys, spoiling them as any good uncles would with ice cream and staying up late. 

It wasn’t until Younghyun was seven, the same year he became an official Wang-Tuan, that he asked his uncles about them having no kids. Jinyoung had spat out his drink in response before Jaebeom told Younghyun that it wasn’t polite to ask about those kinds of things. 

“But, Daddy and Baba love each other enough to raise kids. Uncle Jaebeom, do you not love Uncle Jinyoungie enough?” Jae contributed to the conversation. Jaebeom placed his head in his hands. 

“We do want kids, sweetheart. It just takes a while for the higher up people to approve us.” Jinyoung tried to explain, “you remember how long it took for your dad and baba to adopt you.” 

This seemed to get across the kids, but Jae had one last thing to say. “I really want more people to play with. Brian is getting boring.” Jae was met with almost a full plate of spaghetti thrown at his head. 

\---- 

Jinyoung had rushed over to Mark and Jackson’s house, it was around 5 and he knew both of them were home. He let himself in calling to his best friend as he stepped through the door. He found Mark in the kitchen making food for when the kids came back from after school activities. 

“We did it, hyung!” He said as he hugged a confused Mark. 

“Nyoungie, what did you do?” 

“We got approved! The triplets move in this weekend!” Jinyoung was bubbling over with excitement, barely able to contain it. He began rambling about the room Jaebeom was currently painting. 

The triplets he was referring to were three one-year-olds around Felix’s age. Jinyoung and Jaebeom had been fighting for custody since they were born and Jaebeom’s sister, Nayeon, had died in childbirth. 

She had left the custody to Jaebeom and his husband but the biological father tried to contest her will. It had taken forever for the court to deny and rid him of his parental rights, only finalising the decision when he came to a court date drunk and high. 

Jaebeom and Jinyoung has named the children the day after they were born only to have them taken from the couple. But after a year of fighting, they had the three bundles of joy again. 

Park Jisung, Park Seungmin, and Park Jeongin got to come home. Mark hugged Jinyoung as he continued to burst at the seams with happiness. 

\---- 

Jaebeom had wanted to throw a party for the triplets the weekend after they moved into the Park household. Jinyoung put his foot down after seeing Yugyeom on the guest list. “I’m not inviting the devil and his three minions. No matter how well Bam controls Binnie and Pillie, Hyunjin is simply an absolute menace. Just like their father.” 

With a sign, Jaebeom threw the thought of a party out of his head. That didn’t stop him from inviting just the Wang-Tuans over. Both him and Jinyoung had decided Jackson and Mark would be the first people to meet the triplets now that they had custody. Jinyoung hoped the triplets would be friends with Felix, they were about the same age anyway. 

Mark and Jinyoung had been texting more than usual, mostly Jinyoung asking for advice on how to prepare bottles or swaddle them correctly. The elder had talked him through all of it was a great help the first month Jinyoung and Jaebeom took care of the babies. But after a month he would just reply with ‘You got this Nyoungie! Fighting!’ and change the subject. 

\---- 

The older the triplets got the more tired Jaebeom and Jinyoung grew. A 16-year-old Younghyun and 18-year-old Jae would come over and babysit the triplets and their younger brothers. They got some help from the 17-year-old the Parks were fostering, Sungjin. 

It was a rare occasion where Jackson had taken Mark on a week-long trip to America and Jaebeom and Jinyoung had left for a little weekend getaway. The four parents trusted the kids to look out for each other, if they didn’t Chris would come running to Mark as soon as he was back and tattle on his older brothers. 

“Hyung,” Felix had tugged on Sungjin’s shirt, “can we play guitar?” The six-year-old was using the puppy dog eyes that usually worked wonders on his brothers, but seemed ineffective on Sungjin. 

“Lixie, I have homework to finish. Then we can play.” Sungjin promised, pushing Felix off his lap. The boy ran off to the living room, only to return with the triplets. “Hyung!” was yelled from four different directions, surrounding Sungjin like a pack of wolves. 

He marked the page in his English workbook and picked up Seungmin, he was secretly his favourite to spoil and baby. “Well, come on, if you’re gonna be annoying about it.” He joked around, Seungmin pushed his forehead against Sungjin’s and rubbed their noses together. A form of affection the Parks were accustomed to, one Sungjin welcomed with an open heart. 

Jae and Younghyun were cuddling on the couch. ‘That doesn’t look very brotherly,’ Sungjin thought to himself, but shrugged it off when Seungmin squirmed in his arms. “Hyuuuung-deul! Play instruments with us!” Jisung demanded, pulling Jae away from Younghyun and towards a guitar. 

“Little squirrel, we just got back from band practice, can’t we throw you a concert tomorrow or something?” Jae asked, ruffling Jisung’s hair as he picked up his guitar. Jisung just shook his head in defiance, insisting that Jae and the other older boys play for them. 

Younghyun and Sungjin got their instruments out of their cases, “remember, boys,” Sungjin prefaced, “there’s no Dowoon or Wonpillie, so that means-”

“No drum or piano, yeah! We know, hyung. Ims and Kims aren’t allowed in this house,” Seungmin spoke sassily. Chan looked over at Younghyun, “Isn’t he an Im?”

The makeshift concert lasted what felt like hours. Chan had left the four younger boys to listen and dance by themselves. The triplets really got rowdy when their foster brother played with the band. 

Chan had to do homework. And to do homework, he had to sneak out. He wouldn’t be able to focus in his own house with a band jamming out. He was thankful the shut of the back door couldn’t be heard through his brothers’ playing and shouting. 

‘WHERE ARE YOU?!’ 

‘You better not be at that brat’s house…’ 

‘OMG you are!’

‘I’m telling Mom and Dad!’ 

Chan’s phone kept buzzing, the screen lit up with Younghyun’s face. “Yes, hyung? Can I help you?” 

“Why is hyung freaking out? Where are you?” 

“Where do you think I am, Bri. Tell Jae that if he tells Dad about this I will spill all his secrets.” 

There was silence on the other end of the phone for a minute, Younghyun was really telling Jae. Chris preened. Daehwi gave him a look. 

“He says he doesn’t care. He’ll tell Dad still.” 

“Brian, his secrets are your secrets,” Chris said with a smirk. He heard Younghyun swear softly followed by a loud ‘PARK JAEHYUNG!’ 

Chris winced, none of them used their former last names unless they were seriously angry with each other. He might have fucked up. Just a little. 

The line clicked off, Younghyun had hung up on him. Without saying ‘goodbye’ or ‘I love you’ or a strict ‘come home.’ Okay, Chris definitely fucked up. A lot. 

“Hey, Hwi-yah, I have to go back. Ummm, I’ll see you tomorrow or Sunday, kay?” Chris rushed out while gathering all of his things and stuffing them in his book bag. He exited the room and ran down the stairs. 

“Bye, Chris!” He shouted as Chris walked out of the door. He sprinted back to his house and walked into utter chaos. 

Felix and the triplets were huddled behind Sungin as he tried to calm them down. Jisung and Jeongin were in tears, Felix not far behind. Chris wanted to run to his brother and comfort him, he’d never seen any of his family members fight before and never at this extreme, the vase next to the T.V was shattered into a million pieces, swear words flew from somewhere in the house. Sungjin just muttered ‘hyung’s room’ as he wiped the tears from Jisung’s pouty lips before Chris proceeded through the house and up the stairs. 

There was a faint trail of blood leading to Jae’s room. The yelling and grunts got louder the closer Chris got. The door was ajar and he looked in to see his older brothers fighting. Really fighting. Fists flew in blurs, Chris assumed that most of them landed because Younghyun had a bloody nose and Jae looked to be fairing similarly. 

Chris knocked the door open, slamming it against the wall in hopes the two elder boys would break apart. “What the heck are you doing?! Why are you fighting?” Chris was worried, Jae and Younghyun never fought. Yes, they quarreled and got brutally honest, but everything was always verbal. Jae was too much of a wuss to throw a punch at Younghyun. Chris liked to think they loved each other enough to not resort to violence. 

“He- You- CHRIS! Get out!” Jae gasped as he held Younghyun further away from him. Chris took a step further into the room, he almost stepped on a piece of broken glass. The fight in his brothers had dissipated slowly. Chris continued to walk towards his older brothers. 

“Christopher Bang. Get. Out.” Jae warned through gritted teeth, only to be met with Younghyun’s fist connecting with his cheek, knocking off his glasses. Chris was surprised the glasses had stayed on his face for this long.

Jae let out a gasp, blood collecting at the corner of his mouth. “So it’s fine you use our other names but I use it and get punched?!” He looked over at Younghyun and the fighting heated back up. Chris was elbowed by someone, he didn’t know if it was Jae or Younghyun, in the stomach while trying to pull them apart and let out a groan. 

“Jae, knock it off! You hurt Chris,” Younghyun accused. He moved to shield Chris from any more harm. Jae gave up, he exhaustedly sat against his bed. Jae pulled a pillow towards him and curled around it. Younghyun had sat Chris at Jae’s desk, telling him to stay put as he retrieved the first aid kit. 

Chris looked over at Jae, his older brother was silently hiding his bloodied face in the pillow and crying. “Jae-hyung, you shouldn’t be upset at Hyun-hyung,” Chris started. He was silenced by the death look Jae gave him. 

“Chan, he started it. Bri threw the first punch. Because you know! Because I told you! I told you everything. And you used it against me.” Jae let out a cry, a cross breed of wailing and screaming into his pillow, droplets of blood flying past the fabric and onto the wooden floor. 

Chris sat in silence, wincing every time Jae resumed his less violent form of stress relief. He looked around his brother’s room, thinking about how he should be the one to apologise. But he didn’t really need to because Jae should have told Younghyun. Chris muttered this out loud only half hoping Jae would hear him, not meeting Jae’s gaze. 

“Don’t start a fight that you can’t finish, Bang.” Jae hissed out as Younghyun entered the room. He checked over Chris, making sure he wasn’t really hurt before sending him out of the room. “I’m just gonna clean hyung up, we won’t fight anymore. Promise,” Younghyun assured as Chris walked out of the room. He went back downstairs to tell Sungjin and the younger boys that they’d go stay at the Park’s house for the weekend.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A look into the Im family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should really be updating my other wip.

Youngjae was woken up by a soft clattering in the kitchen, turning over he glanced at the alarm clock on his bedside table. 10:00. 

He sprang up from his bed, throwing off the sheets and pulling a sweatshirt over his shoulders. He rushed out of his room to walk into the kitchen. “Woonie,” Youngjae gasped out. Dowoon looked over his shoulder to smile at his father. 

“Did you sleep well, appa?” For a 15-year-old, Dowoon was so mature. Youngjae walked closer to him and could smell the frying eggs. There were already omelettes on the counter for Minho, being the picky eater he was. Youngjae ruffled Dowoon’s hair and placed a kiss to his cheek, ‘thank you for making breakfast’, before walking to Minho’s room. 

He knocked, not knowing if his younger son was asleep. “Come in,” Minho called out. 

Minho had one earbud in, but the music was blaring. He looked like he had been dancing in his pajamas, small sweat droplets rolled down the sides of his face. “Hey, Minnie, what’re you learning now?” 

“The dance academy said we could choose a solo song this time! I wanna do Jimin-sunbaenim’s Lie or j-Hope-sunbaenim’s Just Dance. They’ll be really hard though.” Youngjae smiled at Minho as he resumed his practicing. The 9-year-old reminded him so much of his late wife. 

“Well, Dowoonie is making breakfast for us. Make sure you wash your face before coming down, you little scuzzball.” Youngjae was hugged from behind before Minho ran past him to go to the bathroom. 

“Appa, can the band come over?” 

“Dowoonie, it amazes me that you still ask, like I’m going to reject you.” Youngjae looked up from his computer, eyeing his son standing in the doorframe. “Yes, they can come over. See if Minho wants any of their siblings over too.” 

Dowoon scampered off, Youngjae decided to text the parents of said band members. He knew they would say yes despite their silly little ‘No Ims or Kims in this house’ rule. Youngjae could only apologise so many times to his brother for something Dowoon and Wonpil accidentally did. 

At least, he hoped the fire they started in the triplets’ room was accidental. 

\---- 

Within an hour there was loud noises coming from the basement and Minho sitting in Youngjae’s lap while they watched t.v. in the living room. Minho had rejected any of his friends coming over, he had told his appa he was too sad for people to come over. 

Youngjae sadly smiled at his younger son in understanding. It was coming up on the nine year anniversary of Momo’s death. He was surprised Dowoon even wanted the band to come over, but as soon as they began to play Youngjae knew he was expressing his anger and sadness in a creative way. 

Minho always got clingy when he missed his mother, hugging Dowoon constantly or in Youngjae’s lap as much as possible. He almost refused to go to school one day and Youngjae had put his foot down. But he apologised with food, cuddles, and staying up later than usual when the boy had come home in tears. “Sungie,” a gasp, “can’t see me. Channie cornered me and asked me what was wrong.”

Minho always went to Chan and Woojin when he was troubled and stuck at school. He tried so hard to keep a cool guy facade up when the younger ones were around. Youngjae blamed it on being the middle child in the huge friend group. With some of them pushing actual adulthood and the youngests being 6, 10 seemed like a horrible age. 

“Appa, I want to be big.”

“Appa, why don’t you cuddle me like Mark cuddles Felix?” 

Welcome to Youngjae’s life. 

“Appa, cuddle me more,” a watery voice came from underneath Youngjae. The child was already shumshed into Youngjae’s armpit, barely able to see Finding Dory on the t.v. Youngjae repositioned them so Minho was wrapped in between both of Youngjae’s arms, “Better, baby?” 

Minho nodded and nuzzled deeper into the fuzzy, warm blanket wrapped around them. There was a knock at their front door, probably a sibling coming to pick up their brother. Minho whined when Youngjae detached himself but settled back into the blanket. 

Youngjae unlocked the door and opened it to Mark’s face and Felix on his hip. “How do you do that, hyung?” Youngjae asked, referring to carrying Felix. Mark just shrugged and stepped inside when Youngjae moved aside. 

“AUNT MARK!!” Minho shouted, a joke that stuck from Felix calling Mark ‘Ma’ as a baby. Now Mark was known as Mama or Aunt to all the kids. Even Jae had took up the name to stop confusing him with Jaebeom. 

“Hey, little guy. Can you go grab the boys for me? It’s time to come home.” Mark ruffled Minho’s hair before the kid ran downstairs to get Jae and Younghyun. He turned to Youngjae, “do you need one of us to take them this weekend? Even for a few hours.” Mark had moved to grab Youngjae’s hand. 

Youngjae appreciated the offer, one he hadn’t taken last year. “I thought Ims weren’t allowed in your house?” 

“No, Jae-ah, we don’t allow Kims after Chris told us he liked his best friend but I have a feeling Changbin isn't his only best friend anymore. He’s too young.” Mark laughed out, Felix turning his head to look up at his father. “Lix, don’t tell Chris you know. He’d kill me.” Felix just nodded, Felix wasn’t big on talking anyway. 

“Um, yea, hyung. You could take them for awhile. Or an overnight. I think Dowoonie would like that. Just Jae and Younghyun though, he told me that Wonpil was distancing himself and Sungjin was getting on his nerves. I don’t want him to be even more upset about a conflict with one of them.” Mark nodded, readjusting Felix on his hip when he saw Jae and Younghyun climb up the stairs. 

“Hey, kiddos, let’s go.” Mark grabbed Jae’s guitar for him and slung it on his back, handing him Felix. 

“Lixie, did you have a good nap while I was gone?” The older brother asked, brushing his nose to Felix’s. Felix nodded, then nestled his face in Jae’s neck, almost knocking off his glasses. Younghyun laughed at him. Jae was about to say something before hearing a small, high-pitched “Shut up, Brian.” 

Mark burst out in laughter as the four of them walked out of Youngjae’s house. “You’re spending too much time with Jae, Lixie. I’m gonna steal you one day.” Younghyun threatened, glaring at Felix from behind Jae. Felix’s hold on Jae just tightened. 

“Love you, Bribri!” Felix and Jae called out together before getting into the car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this update. If anyone wanted to know Momo from Twice is the Im boys' mother. :( Sorry, Momo.
> 
> I have until part 5 written for this and I forgot last chapter to say this; you can request anything (within reason) and I will write it. Just know it might be a while until it's posted.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jae and Younghyun finally figure things out and Jackson and Mark are great parents (if you didn't already know)!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I said this last week too, but I should /REALLY/ be working on my wip I'm almost done with. :////
> 
> Also, this is kind of like mentions of incest but they are adoptive brothers with no relation to each other in any way! Just making that clear, if you don't like it, stop reading.

Younghyun was panicked. He was screwed. He was staring at Jae while they brainstormed lyrics for a new song. More specifically, he was staring at Jae’s lips. 

He felt wrong, but he couldn’t stop feeling this way. It’s been like this for a few years, but he only noticed the fleeting glances, the urges to just cuddle Jae in a not so platonic way, the wants he would wake up from in the middle of the night until a year ago. But still, he’s been dealing with this for almost a full year now and it hasn’t gone away. 

If anything it’s gotten worse. Younghyun would fall asleep in Jae’s arms on the weekends, he would stare at Jae’s lean body when he got out of the shower, he would hang onto every word Jae spoke. And the worst part was Jae didn’t stop him. 

It seemed like Jae would encourage the subtle ways Younghyun embraces his hyung’s love. Jae would invite him to meals (and insist on paying), wake him up at 1am to just drive around at night listening to all kinds of music, Jae even went as far to up the kisses to the cheek and forehead he was given. Sometimes Younghyun thought he was exaggerating how long Jae’s lips were pressed to his skin. 

Jaehyung was also in a crisis. Sungjin had just told him that he had a crush on him. “Ya, I know we’re supposed to be like cousins, but we aren’t really related. It wouldn’t be wrong, our parents would probably understand.” 

Probably. 

That’s what Jae was worried about. His parents wouldn’t accept him and throw him out. He was 18, they weren’t getting money from the government for taking him in anymore so they could easily throw him out. As much as Jae wanted to express his feelings, he couldn’t. He wasn’t supposed to like his ‘brother.’ 

Felix was always smarter than people gave him credit for. They assumed since Felix wasn’t very verbal, he was dumb. Of course his family and teachers knew better but he still got picked on. 

Jae had told him a long time ago that he could come to him anytime he was upset with kids at school being mean to him. So here he was, on his way to his hyung’s bedroom. Jae and Younghyun’s rooms were upstairs, Mama had explained that it was a privilege for being older boys. Felix just thought it was a burden to walk up 12 stairs to see his hyungs. 

Felix knocked on the door to Jae’s room, waiting for permission to be let in. Jae’s voice was soft, but Felix still heard the ‘come in’ from the other side of the door. He struggled with the door for a second before pushing it open. 

Felix immediately found himself in Jae’s arms, he just whispered out ‘hyung’ before being buried in the large sweater his brother was wearing and the soft comforter Jae threw over the both of them. “It’s okay, Lixie. Hyung’s here.” Long fingers found their way to Felix’s hair. The two laid there until there was another knock at Jae’s door. 

He quickly looked down to see if Felix was asleep, he wasn’t. Jae called out for the person on the other side of the door to enter. Younghyun poked his head into the room, searching for Jae in the pile of blankets on the bed. 

“Hyungie!” Felix shouted, grabbing the attention of the second eldest. Younghyun entered the room fully, striding towards Jae and Felix. Jae was already pushing himself against the wall and pulling Felix with him. Younghyun kicked off his slippers and laid in bed with the two. 

Felix repositioned Younghyun to cuddle with Jae and then pushed his way in between them. “You really like to be cuddled, don’t you, little buddy?” Jae and Felix both cringed at Younghyun’s nickname for Felix, but the youngest just nodded. He did like cuddling, or as Mama called it snuggling. He was Mama’s little snuggle bug and Chris was his cuddle bug. 

“Bullies,” Felix spoke, properly telling Jae why he came to the elder’s room in the first place. The eldest had thought that was what Felix was doing in his bed seeking cuddles and not speaking. The bullies made fun of him for multiple things, like lack of words and his accent. Jae would often speak in an exaggerated American accent to cheer up the toddler. 

Jae’s fingers wound up in Felix’s hair, Younghyun’s hand sweeping comforting circles onto his back. “Hyungies?” Felix whispered into Younghyun’s hoodie, “love each other?” He asked, eyes closed. 

“Of course we love each other, Lix.” Jae spoke before stealing a glance at Younghyun. The younger boy was already staring at him, Jae watched at Younghyun opened his mouth and spoke something almost forbidden. “We love each other a lot, different from how we love you and Chris, does that make sense?” 

Felix nodded into the soft fabric and searched blindly for something of Jae to hold. “Like Mama and Daddy love.” Jae pushed his arm around Felix’s middle to grab his hand and squeeze, “That’s right, Lixie, just like Mama and Dad love.” 

The three continued to cuddle for a few minutes until there was another knock at Jae’s door, Jae once again giving permission to enter. Chris poked his head in, he could only gasp. “How can you cuddle without me?” He asked in an exaggerated tone. 

Younghyun was pushed farther towards the edge of the bed to make room for Chris. “Channie, the bed isn’t big enough. We barely fit as is.” Younghyun complained, knowing full well he’d lay Chris on his chest and be suffocated if it meant their younger brother was happy. 

Within minutes, all four boys were squished and asleep, except Felix. He laid looking between Jae and Younghyun quietly. He had figured it out months ago, before the two (really it was just Jae who had let it slip) had told Chris. Felix felt proud of himself, like he had solved one of this mystery cases in Uncle Jinyoung’s books. 

He saw another head emerge from behind the door, this time belonging to his father. “Mama, save me!” he quietly pleaded, “hyungies, suffocating.” he gasped out in pretend. 

Mark walked closer to him and carefully extracted Felix’s small body from the multiple limbs scattered on the bed. “Now Lixie gets to help Mama cook dinner for you rambunctious boys.” At hearing he’d be put to work, Felix playfully squirmed in Mark’s arms. “Hyung!” he cried out, hoping one of his brothers would wake up and steal him back. 

Jae shot up, eyes opening in a flash seeing his father begin to tickle their maknae. “Ma, give him back. I’ll help you with dinner tonight.” As Jae clambered over the two bodies in his bed, Felix was put down. The youngest hopped back into bed and scrambled in between Younghyun and Chris. 

Jae was pouring the leftover water from the pot of noodles when Mark turned to him. “You know you don’t have to hide anything from us, right?” Jae was startled, he balked at his father. 

“I don’t know what you mean, Mama. Do you think I’m keeping something from you?” 

Jae didn’t really want a response to that. But Mark provided one anyway. 

“I think both of you are hiding something. You and Brian have always been close, but you’re not anymore. Did something happen? You can tell me, or your father. Or any of your uncles. I’m sure between the seven of us, at least one will have advice or a solution to this fight.” 

Oh. His dad thought he was fighting with Younghyun. In a way, it made sense, when he and Younghyun decided to give this forbidden love a chance (not that they officially gave it a name) they had eased up on the skinship and such to not give it away. He supposed it sent a different message to the people around him. 

Jae laughed out, “Mama, Felix can figure it out, but you can’t,” he said in between laughs. Mark just stared at him, offended. 

“I’ll - We’ll tell you. Soon. But Dad should be there for the conversation too. I promise it’s not bad, well-” Jae cut himself off. It could be, not only would he be looked down on, so would Younghyun, if his parents didn’t approve. The anxiety was back. 

“Okay, your father’s home in an hour. I can wait.” Jae sputtered and ran. 

He ended up at the Kim household. It was a 20 minute walk but Jae made it there in 12 sprinting faster than he thought he could. He practically pounded on the door and Yugyeom threw it open with a scowl. “We just got Hyunjin down for a nap and now I hear him crying again. What are you knocking so loudly for?!” Yugyeom was shouting angrily at Jae. 

The teenager was tearing up and Yugyeom had to do a double take. “Jae, are you okay?” Jae could only shake his head, he knew if he tried to say anything the levee would break and the tears would fall. He couldn’t start sobbing on his uncle’s front porch. 

He was led into the house and further into the kitchen before Yugyeom pushed him to sit at the table. “Just stay here for a second, sweetheart. I’m gonna get Pillie for you.” Yugyeom walked away and Jae sobbed louder. He looked up to see Changbin standing in the doorway. 

He slowly walked in and pulled two glasses from the cabinet, he filled both with water and sat one in front of Jae. Then he slowly walked out with his own glass. Wonpil pushed past him to get to Jae, immediately engulfing him in a hug. 

“Oh, Jae. What’s wrong?” Wonpil asked only to shush him when he tried to get coherent words out between crying. The two boys sat until Jae got a crick in his neck and the light outside had faded to casting shadows. 

“Mama wants me to tell him and Dad what’s wrong with me and Bri.” Wonpil rubbed circles into Jae’s back, a pleasant feeling Jae hasn’t felt since he failed a biology test freshman year. 

“Jae, he probably didn’t mean right away. And even if he did, you don’t have to tell him. But you should, because he loves you for however you are and who you like won’t change that. That goes for Uncle Jackson too.” Wonpil smiled at Jae, positivity and optimism shining onto the older boy. 

He took a deep breath. “I should go home. I must have skipped dinner and Chris is probably freaking out,” Jae stood up and hugged Wonpil one more time. “Thanks, Pillie.” 

Jae took the long way home to further procrastinate the inevitable. He walked back into his house an hour and a half later, he was met with three worried faces from the couch. Mark and Jackson were on their feet in a second, rushing to Jae and wrapping him in a hug. Jae looked at Younghyun who was still sitting on the couch, he stiffened when he saw the younger mouth ‘they know.’ 

Jackson was the first to detach himself from the group hug. “Jaehyung, have a seat next to Younghyun, please.” Jae did as he was told.

It was awkward, Jackson basically gave them ‘The Talk’ for the second time in their lives. He gave them specific rules, like keeping the door open after 10pm and such. When he had finished his speal, Jae looked him in the eyes and asked “how are you okay with this?” 

“Honey,” Mark grabbed Jae and Younghyun’s hands, Younghyun needed to hear this too, “we know you’re not related in any way, shape, or form. We also can’t control who you fall for, if we did you’d be Sungjin, Jae.” Jae scrunched his face in disgust and Younghyun’s mouth gaped. Jackson laughed at his sons. 

“See. We can’t be hypocrites. Yugyeom and Bambam are technically siblings, Yugyeom’s family adopted Bam when his parents died in Thailand. If we could accept that relationship while we were growing up, we can accept this one.” Jackson added to reassure the boys. 

“Now, Jae, you have to go apologise to Channie. He had a panic attack the minute we told him you ran out.” Jae hung his head but walked to his room, Younghyun trailing behind him. 

“Where is he, Bri?” Younghyun pointed up the stairs. Both boys pushed the door of Jae’s room open to see Chris and Felix curled up on Jae’s bed. Jae and Younghyun got into bed with their siblings and held them close. Chris opened his eyes for a brief moment before closing them again. “Hyung,” Chris spoke into Jae’s chest and fell asleep again. Jae and Younghyun followed shortly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter, the next one is probably going to be up within a week because I got my wisdom teeth out and have written til like chapter 14 of this thing so look for that soon. 
> 
> ALSO!!!!!!!!! I'M SEEING SKZ! February 2nd, I'm flying back to Texas and skipping my Monday class to see my boys! If you're going and wanna scream about it with me, I would greatly appreciate it! p.s. I sobbed watching the You Can STAY MV like a half hour ago.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An inside look into Changbin's past and how Bambam maybe the best parent out of Got7.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Classes have officially started here at LSU with a delay because WE'RE CHAMPIONS! So sorry this is out a week later than I promised but I was squeezing out the last week with my family before coming back to school. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy this chapter centered on Binnie-Binnie-Changbinnie!

Changbin was always a creative kid, but sometimes his creativity felt elusive. 

Elusive was a big word that he learned from his hyung when he was writing a song he would never hear for his music club. 

Being 8 was hard, he was one of the middle children of their group. And they had a big group. He was seen as a mediator, the person the triplets went to if Chris and Minho wouldn’t play with them, the one Felix would sit with just because he was quiet and kept to himself, the one Minho would annoy because the triplets and Hyunjin wouldn’t include him in a sleepover or playdate for being too little. 

Changbin was fine with this, most of the time he enjoyed it. It made him feel needed, he could be responsible and hold Jeongin when he was a baby despite being a toddler himself while still interacting with the older kids. 

Dowoon absolutely adored Changbin and Younghyun and Jae were teaching him, Jisung, and Chan how to write music and lyrics. He appreciated the mock lessons the two eldests held for their dongsaengs, diligently working on the assignments Jae would give them. 

But sometimes Changbin’s creative was elusive. 

Changbin sat at the kitchen table and sighed while glaring at his father. Bambam looked over his shoulder from where he was doing the dishes to look at his son. “What’s the matter, Binnie?” he sighed, splashing water on Changbin as he did so.

He looked at his phorn, like the man should immediately know what was wrong and how dare he ask such a silly question. He put his head in his hand and sighed louder. Bambam gave up and turned back to the dishes. 

Changbin began humming, it was a simple melody he had felt his uncle singing. Jackson was a composer and singer/songwriter, that’s where Jae and Younghyun got it from. The melody quickly turned into something different, something original. Changbin ran to his appa’s office to get a blank sheet of paper and sharpie marker to write down the notes playing in his head. 

The blank sheet of paper was not blank. 

That was something Changbin learned when Yugyeom had called him into the office. He was seated across from his appa, hands in his lap and fiddling with his fingers. 

“Changbin, you wrote over a very important document. One that I needed for my conference call this afternoon. Do you know how I felt when I couldn’t find it on my desk?” Yugyeom asked, keeping his voice calm and waited patiently for Changbin to answer. 

“Worried?” Changbin half-asked, refusing to meet his appa’s eyes. 

“Yes, Bin. I was worried. What have I told you about coming into my office?” Again, he waited for Changbin to give an answer. 

“Allowed with Appa or Phorn.” Yugyeom nodded. “So, since you broke that rule, you get a choice of punishments, Bin. Do you want to have a 15 minute time-out now or go to bed a half hour earlier?” 

Changbin almost never got to pick his punishment, he thought that was something only Wonpil could do. Changbin internally smiled to himself, he was getting older and had more privileges. 

“Time-out now, Appa. Can I do it at the kitchen table while Phorn makes dinner?” He asked quietly, finally raising his head to look at his appa. 

“Yes, you may. You can do it at the kitchen table while Phorn makes dinner. Tell him to set a timer for 15 minutes and then help him, okay?” Changbin thought that was a fair trade, he liked cooking with his phorn. 

Changbin was torn, Minho had asked him to come over to work on their project but Jae and Younghyun were back from university for the weekend and had invited him and Jisung over to listen and critique their final works for their music classes. 

Changbin didn’t know who to pick. He had agreed to Minho’s request over a week ago but he really missed his hyungs. He thought about it for a minute more before texting Minho he felt sick and shouldn’t come over. 

Then he texted the 3racha (what Jisung, Chris and him called their makeshift rap group) group chat. Just as Yugyeom was putting his coat on for him, Minho opened their front door. 

“I thought you were sick.” Minho deadpanned. The slightly older boy realised the situation quickly. “Don’t talk to me ever again, you’re such a liar!” Minho ran out of the front entrance, leaving the door open, he didn’t need to sign the words he had screamed for Changbin to understand them. Yugyeom just stared down at his son. 

Changbin didn’t say anything as he shrugged his coat off. He trudged up the stairs to his room, Changbin lightly shut the door before sitting at his desk and beginning to cry quietly. His face pushed up against the cool wood as tears collected in a pool, running down his nose and cheeks to the dark mahogany surface. 

He was so caught up in crying that he didn’t see the light flashing, the door to his room opened. He barely felt the person scoop him up and place him on his bed. The distinct smell of coriander and basil registered in his brain, his phorn was the one with him. Changbin was grateful it was Bambam who came into his room, he didn’t need Wonpil questioning him or his appa’s lackluster comforting skills. 

Bambam sat on the edge of Changbin’s bed, waiting for his son to either tell him what was wrong or cuddle him. Changbin was still crying, Bambam would occasionally swipe at his cheeks to collect the tears. 

“Phorn,” Changbin began, “why did you pick me?” Changbin asked this at least once a month. More so when they had first started fostering him. Bambam had to admit he wasn’t the best, most well behaved child they had met, but the Kim couple had immediately fell in love with Changbin. 

“Thank you for meeting with us today. I understand this is your first time fostering a child,” the social worker began speaking as soon as they stepped into the office. “You do have a history of adoption, though. Now, we do have one child, kind of a trouble maker for a one-year-old, he’s bounced from home to home recently. In the past four months, he’s been with six different foster parents. We understand if this seems like a big challenge but looking at the other three children you have adopted,” he didn’t finish his sentence. 

Yugyeom looked to Bambam, holding a one month old Hyunjin in the baby bjorn, and turned back to smile at the social worker. “I think we’re up to the challenge. We’d love to meet him today and take him home as soon as we can. We’ve already installed a second booster seat for him.” They were eager, after Jinyoung had recommended they foster instead of adopt this time around. 

The social worker looked surprised, he looked at his computer screen, “you’ve already filed all the correct paperwork as well. We can go meet him now, he’d be in the makeshift playroom right now.” The couple waited for the short man to show them the way to the playroom. 

Bambam immediately knew which child they had been discussing in the office without seeing a picture. There was a smaller child sitting in the back corner alone. He was laying on his stomach silently coloring with crayons. As Bambam got closer he couldn’t help but see how skinny the one-year-old was. Yugyeom sat next to the boy first, waiting for him to notice him. 

After a few minutes and no response, Hyunjin became tired of being quiet. He began to whimper and whine. Bambam tried to bounce the baby and halt any crying that could come next. “Okay?” the small child across from Yugyeom asked, pointing to Hyunjin. 

Yugyeom looked from Hyunjin to the small boy across from him. Now that he had the boys attention, he could see the dark, wide brown eyes, “yea, sweetheart. He’s just a little tired and cranky. I’m Yugyeom, and,” pointing at his husband and son, “they are Bambam and Hyunjinnie. What’s your name, love?” 

The one-year-old held eye contact with Yugyeom, never looking away as he introduced himself as Changbin. The boy moved closer to Yugyeom, he quickly asked the adult to colour with him. Changbin joyfully explained all of his drawings when Bambam asked, one was of a family. 

“Want family.” Yugyeom glanced at Bambam, who was still bouncing and rocking Hyunjin to keep him from crying, they shared a look. Changbin had drawn their family perfectly, two taller siblings that the adults assumed were older than Changbin and a smaller stick figure with the medium stick figure, Changbin, in between two parents. All of them were holding hands and had smiles on their faces. 

Changbin had moved on to draw flowers and butterflies. Yugyeom helped him fill in empty space with grass and clouds and blue skies. “Thank you,” Changbin said with a twinge of sadness in his voice that makes Bambam and Yugyeom want to cry. “Baby play?” Changbin asked quietly pointing to Hyunjin. 

Bambam unhooked the straps and set Hyunjin on his stomach next to Changbin. “He won’t do much, Bin, but he likes to watch colours. Just like you’re doing, sweet boy.” Bambam explained to Changbin as the one-year old scribbled brighter colours on to the page. 

The man from earlier came behind Yugyeom, tapping on the tall man’s shoulder to grab his attention. “You can take him home. Today. If you want, the previous family confirmed that they will not be taking him back.” The social worker said it in such a nonchalant way, Yugyeom was upset and angry that someone couldn’t care about a child who continuously was abandoned. At that moment, the tall parent confirmed to talk Changbin home that afternoon. 

“We’ll tell him and then pack his things for him.” Yugyeom said as he walked back to Changbin and his family, hopefully one day Changbin would be apart of that family. “Bammie, we’re taking him home.” 

“Home?” Changbin’s head shot up from it’s fixation on Hyunjin. “You?” he followed up, looking between Bambam and Yugyeom. They both nodded. Changbin’s face lit up in a smile before falling. His focus latched onto Hyunjin again, “baby, home.” he told the younger. 

Changbin acclimated to the family very well, he seemed to constantly need someone to hold him. Wonpil easily rose to the task, his stick arms would wrap around Changbin’s frail waist and heaved him onto his hip with a grunt. By Changbin’s second birthday, Wonpil went to his appa about his concerns with Changbin’s speech. 

“Appa, he doesn’t speak correctly.” The nine-year-old was adamant about his foster brother’s development. “I was reading a book about the brain and he understands what we say to him, but he can’t process a proper response. His grammar is wrong, he uses different words for things, it’s not just because he’s young, Appa. He has something wrong with his brain.” 

After Yugyeom scolded Wonpil for saying something mean about his brother, Wonpil went to his Phorn. Bambam was more likely to believe him, but Wonpil brought the dog-eared book about parts of the brain with him. “See, Broca’s area. That must be damaged.” The pre-teen spoke with such conviction and it worked. Against Yugyeom’s wishes, Bambam had brought Changbin to a developmental psychologist. 

“Mr. Kim, do you know about Changbin’s past before he came into your custody?” Dr. Song asked Bambam. The guardian shook his head, glancing down as Changbin played with his fingers. “It seems that he’s had a trauma, his speech is impaired. This is more than something I could diagnose, I’ve written you a referral for a brain scan to determine which part of the brain has been affected.” The doctor handed Bambam a slip of paper. 

Bambam drove straight to the larger hospital, 40 minutes away, to make an appointment for Changbin. The two-year-old began to fuss in Bambam’s arms as the nurse called them back to a room. Changbin began to scream when the nurse tried to take him away from Bambam. “Sir, we need him to be calm while he’s getting the MRI.” The nurse tried to explain as Bambam bounced Changbin up and down on his hip. 

After some bribing (ice cream before dinner), Changbin sniffled and agreed to laying on the table. “Just talk to Phorn while you’re in there, love. Phorn’s right here.” Changbin babbled on about something, it was the most Bambam had heard him speak in the year and a half they had custody of him. 

“You did really well, sweetheart.” Bambam praised when Changbin sat up on the table. They hugged, Changbin mumbling “scary” into his phorn’s chest. Within the hour the doctor had explained Changbin’s condition.

Broca’s Aphasia was a condition that corrupted the processing parts of language. He could understand, he couldn’t reply. Just like Wonpil had said. 

The doctor recommended speech therapy and actually learning sign language. Changbin could learn to respond to something through a different medium. He might never be able to speak properly and the family needed to understand that. “There are local speech therapists that can work with your other children to help them understand Changbin’s way of communicating. 

Bambam nodded, gathering his things and Changbin, thanking the doctor before leaving the building. “Let’s go get that ice cream before telling Appa and the kids about our new discovery, Binnie.” Bambam spoke as he buckled Changbin into his car seat. The two-year-old placed a sloppy kiss to Bambam’s cheek and smiled all the way home.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little siblings weekend with the boys in LA.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did this while listening to TWICE instead of doing laundry and homework.

“Hey, Tuan!” A classmate shouted from across the quad, “I didn’t know you had a whole baseball team of siblings!” Jae waved and smiled at the man across the way before leading the eight kids to his dorm building. 

“Younghyun-hyung, phorn said you have to keep a real careful eye on us. They didn’t send us all to America to get lost.” Hyunjin said, walking hand in hand with Chris behind Younghyun. “Sam, call him Brian while on campus. No one knows a Younghyun,” Jae teased his boyfriend lightly. 

Seungmin snickered before dragging his triplets to the fountain, Seungmin and Jeongin ganged up on Jisung. The youngest triplet was soaked by the time Jae noticed he was missing three small children in their group. He softly hear Hyunjin mutter “told you so” before spotting them at the fountain. 

“What the-” “Hey, Peter,” Younghyun interrupted Jae from swearing at the kids, “let’s go get you into some dry clothes. Half of you have to come with me, who’s coming?” Felix, Minho, Changbin, and Chan raised their hands. “Alright, follow me and hold hands with each other.” 

“You’re leaving me as the only fluent one in my group?” Jae asked as Younghyun walked away, ignoring him. Chris turned around and stuck his tongue out. Jae was on his own to deal with the more rowdy kids of the bunch. Jae pointed to a large field and said “play” in English. Seungmin looked at Jae in confusion before mouthing the word back to him. 

Seungmin translated for the younger kids and they began to run around. Jae felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, he pulled it out and read his father’s name on the screen. “Hi, Mama. How’s home?” 

“Oh, it’s wonderful without the kids here. Your dad and I actually went on a date last night.” He could tell his father was smiling, it had taken a lot to convince his fathers and uncles to trust Jae and Younghyun to look after their kids in on American soil. All of the younger children had their winter break off, so they boarded a plane to visit two of the eldest boys in their group. Jae and Younghyun had suggested it, using the excuse that they were 22 and 20, more than responsible to take care of eight boys in a big city. The younger boys were so thrilled when their parents told them they would be going to Los Angeles. 

“How are the kids?” Mark asked. 

“They’re still alive if that’s what you’re asking. They woke up really early this morning. Thankfully, they woke Brian instead of me. But Bri just left me with the weakest English speakers when I’m on my own. Even my own brothers left me to be in Bri’s group. Mama, I wanted Lixie and Peter. I miss them so much.” Jae whined through the phone. 

“Sweetheart, if you miss them, think about how Hyun feels. Also, who’s Peter?” Mark’s voice was calm as he spoke with his oldest son. 

“Bri and I all gave them English names, beside Chris and Lix. Minho’s Matthew, Binnie’s Lewis, he’s having a really hard time remembering it, I have to tell Uncle Bam and Gyeom that his aphasia is kinda acting up. But it might just be because there’s so much English around him. Oh, and Hyunjin’s Sam, Sungie is Peter, Seungmin is Skylar but he insists on being called Sky because he’s that important. We gave Innie Bob because Sungjin won’t let us call him that.” 

Mark had laughed through all of the names, “I wrote that down so I can tell Jacks and everyone else, that’s going in the group chat.” Jae looked back to the kids playing and was met with Hyunjin pull something from Seungmin’s hands and push him. Seungmin was momentarily dazed before he pushed back. 

“Ah, shit- Mama, I have to go. I love you, bye.” Jae rushed out before running to the two boys fighting. He could hear Seungjin cursing at Hyunjin, ‘Where did he learn that?!’ Jae wondered incredulously. 

“Let him go! Now!” Jae yelled when he was within hearing distance. Both nine-year-olds looked at Jae like deer caught in headlights, Hyunjin let go of the fistful of Seungmin’s shirt and Seungmin put his hands in the air. “Why did you start fighting?” Jae asked in a much calmer tone. 

Jeongin had moved to stand behind Jae, the middle triplet hiding behind his hyung in fear of also being in trouble. “Innie gave Seungmin my toy and he wouldn’t give it back. I asked nicely. Twice!” Hyunjin rushed to defend himself, placing blame on Jeongin and Seungmin. 

“Well, Jinnie, you don’t treat your friends like that. Minnie, we have to share our toys when someone asks. Innie, we also have to ask if we can give someone else’s toy away before doing so. Everybody understand?” Jae waited for nods and confirmations. The boys apologised without being prompted, Jeongin staying behind Jae as the others hugged. Jeongin was silently crying. 

Jae picked him up and comforted him, “it’s okay, Innie, I’m not mad,” he reassured as he ran his fingers through his hair. 

“Don’t like fighting with Minnie-ah. Or Hyunjinnie-hyung.” Jeongin whispered into Jae’s neck. The eldest slightly bounced Jeongin and looked at the other boys. “Alright, let’s go back to the apartment. I think we might have given you too much sugar for breakfast.” Jeongin was still clinging to Jae like a koala, any time the eldest tried to set him down he would begin to cry again. Jae definitely gave them too much sugar. 

\---- 

“Sungie, I said dry clothes. Your shirt and pants have to be dry.” Younghyun didn’t know why he had to explain to the nine-year-old what ‘dry’ meant four times. It had Chris and Minho laughing up a storm. Each time Jisung came out of the bathroom, he was in wet pants and a new shirt or the wet shirt and clean pants. “But PAPA picked this out for me. He only gave me enough clothes for this trip. I’ll run out of clothes!” 

Jisung was adamant about the amount of clothes he had. “Sungie, I said we’ll wash and dry your clothes for you.” As soon as Brian said that Jisung ran back to the bathroom. He came back in a completely dry outfit. ‘Thank god, finally.’ Brian thought to himself. He could tell the other kids were getting bored too, Chris and Felix were hanging off of Younghyun’s arms and Changbin was playing with Younghyun’s shoelaces. 

“Alright, now that Sungie is dressed we can go see dinosaurs.” All five boys jumped up and shouted in excitement. Younghyun gathered all of their things into his bag and helped Felix put on his shoes at the front door. Felix lifted his arm, asking to be picked up. “Lixie, you’re eight. Mama and Dad still carry you around?” He complained as he lifted Felix into his arms. 

Younghyun led the group to the geological science building to see the dinosaurs. He laughed at Minho when the boy raised his hand while crossing the street, “Min, we don’t do that in the U.S.” They stopped right before getting into the atrium, “Okay, boys. People are studying in here so we need to be quiet. Can you do that for me?” Younghyun asked, directing the question towards Minho and Chris. 

“Why do you never tell Lix or Binnie to be quiet?” Minho asked, he had a point, but Younghyun had a better counterpoint. “Felix rarely speaks and Changbin knows sign language, they’re always quieter.” Chris nodded like he gave up on an argument he wasn’t really involved in. Younghyun chuckled as he opened the door. 

Younghyun walked to the dinosaur skeletons and turned around so Felix could see them too. “There you go, buddy. Do you like it?” Felix nodded, leaning to tap Changbin’s shoulder. The two started animatedly signing to one another, Minho and Chris were right against the glass debating what they thought the dinosaur looked like. The quiet lasted ten minutes until Minho decided he was hungry. 

“Hyung, I want Korean.” And as soon as Minho mentioned food, the other three joined in. “Barbeque!” Chris shouted. Younghyun corralled the kids outside to call Jae. 

“Babe, the kids want food. Channie suggested barbeque.” He could hear Jae laugh and ask the other boys if they were hungry. “Jinnie agree with Channie. Meet at the usual place? We’re at the apartment right now.” 

“Sure, we’re at the atrium. We should be there in 15 minutes. See you soon, love you, bye.” Younghyun set Felix on the ground, claiming he couldn’t carry him for a 15 minute walk. Felix pouted for three minutes of the walk before sitting on the sidewalk, he refused to move and in turn, Changbin stopped walking too. 

“Okay, Chrisie, we have to leave your brother behind. Say goodbye to him.” Younghyun had seen his parents use this technique to get Felix moving again but it had the opposite effect. Felix burst into sobs, there was no wobble of the lower lip, no tear build up, he immediately started screaming before tears could even fall. 

Changbin and Minho had no idea what was going on but the younger hugged Felix immediately, joining in with sobs of his own. Younghyun walked back to his brother and Changbin to hug them and apologise to Felix. Felix clung to Younghyun’s shirt, his little knuckles turned white. “I’m sorry, Lix. I didn’t mean it, you know I didn’t mean it.” Younghyun tried to console the maknae. 

Younghyun ended up walking the rest of the way to the Korean barbeque restaurant with Felix _and_ Changbin in his arms. Jisung and Chan had their wrists stuck in the tails of the eldest’s backpack while Minho held onto Changbin’s foot. The rest of their group laughed at the sight of them walking towards the table. “Had a hard time, babe?” Jae asked while trying to shush the children’s laughter. Younghyun gave him a look that spoke volumes and Jae silently nodded to himself. 

Felix insisted on sitting in Jae’s lap during their meal, Jae constantly reaching around the young boy burrowed in his chest to turn pieces of meat or give pieces to the younger boys. Minho and Changbin took to helping the triplets stay clean of marinade, Changbin didn’t want a repeat of the wet clothes incident. Hyunjin was unfortunately sat in between Chris and Jisung, “I wanted to stay with Bribri-hyungie,” Chris protested.

“Well, I wanted you to stay with me and help with the kids,” Hyunjin sounded like an exasperated dad of seven. Minho interjected between a bite of pork belly, “Hyunjin-ah, Jae-hyung and Bri-hyung are the parents this week. Don’t worry about the ‘kids’ for the next seven days.” Hyunjin just rolled his eyes while feeding a piece of bulgogi to Jisung. “We’re here for another seven days?!” Jeongin gasped out, his eyes widened as he looked up to his hyungs. 

\---- 

“Alright, kiddos!” Jae clapped his hands as he entered the living room, “we’re only watching one Disney movie before bedtime. Everyone know where they’re sleeping tonight?” Jae and Younghyun glanced around checking for nods of understanding. 

Younghyun had suggested they let the kids draw rooms from a hat to decide where they slept, but Jae quickly corrected him. “If Channie and Felix aren’t in the same room one will sneak out. And you know Sungie can’t sleep without his triplets but Seungmin likes sleeping alone. We really have to think this out carefully.” Younghyun nodded in agreement. 

They ended with a solid plan, Chris would reign over the lounge with Jisung and Felix. Although Jisung had slight separation anxiety, Chris would allow him to latch onto him and the college students wouldn’t have to worry about any meltdowns. Seungmin and Changbin were set to sleep in the extra bedroom. It would give Seungmin enough room to sleep while satiating Changbin to sleep with someone not clingy. That left Jeongin, Hyunjin, and Minho to sleep in the living room. Jae had only been worried about Minho still being afraid of the dark until Younghyun pointed out they could leave a light on in the kitchen and it would be soft enough to still sleep comfortably. 

Jae told the boys and they all agreed to the plan, promising to stay in the assigned room unless an emergency arose. Younghyun has walked into Felix’s room many mornings to see an empty bed, he would panic until Jae came down with Felix wrapped around his hip. 

Some of the boys asked for snacks and Younghyun and Jae refused to let them have anything sugary. They had already had sweet sugar and tons of meat for lunch and dinner, Jae told Younghyun about Jeongin’s sugar crash before lunch. The younger agreed to make an actual healthy breakfast tomorrow morning. Jae sat next to Younghyun on the couch and adjusted the blanket while Younghyun picked a movie. 

They settled on Wall-E after some protests about a princess movie. Jae focused more on the children than the movie, he would often glance at Younghyun to see if he was watching the kids or Wall-E. He was watching the Disney movie without interruption. Jae looked to the floor at the triplets, Seungmin was wrapped around the youngest Kim and left his brothers to cuddle by themselves. Hyunjin and Chris were sitting on the couch next to each other slowly falling asleep. Minho might have been joking but Hyunjin (uncharacteristically) and Chris (characteristically) really acted like overbearing parents towards the younger children when real parents weren’t around. They must have tired themselves out looking over six kids. 

Felix had nestled his way in between Jae and Younghyun before the first ten minutes of the movie, Younghyun silently petting Felix’s hair and putting him to sleep. The maknae was out like a light before Wall-E even found the plant. He occasionally shifted to get comfortable and moved to be more in Jae’s lap than next to Younghyun’s body heat. Minho and Changbin were laying over each other on the ottoman, tightly wrapped in Minho’s blanket. Jae would see Gyu, the stuffed Munchlax Changbin received as his first adoption gift, tucked underneath Changbin’s chin every time he looked at the middle children of the group. 

By the end of the movie, Jae and Younghyun were the only ones awake. “I’ll get the lounge kids, you get the guest bedroom kids,” Jae suggested. Lucky for Jae, Chris and Hyunjin were mixed together, he only had to make one trip to place both of them on an air mattress. He tucked them in and pressed light kisses to their foreheads. He went back for Jisung to see Younghyun had deviated from the plan, the second oldest was lifting Jisung into a fireman carry. All the other kids, beside Jisung, were already in their assigned spaces and Younghyun had turned on the overhead light in the kitchen on for Minho. Jae walked into the lounge behind Younghyun. The two older boys had moved to take up the middle of the air mattress. 

As they were walking out of the room, Jae turned to Younghyun, “are they going to be okay? They’ve never slept over at an unusual place. Sure they know it’s ours, but they don’t know it in the dark.” Jae had grabbed Younghyun’s hand and the younger squeezed back. 

“Babe, it’s fine. The kids’ll be okay and if one of them wakes up we’ll be there for them. I hate to say it-” “But you’re going to anyways,” Jae said with a sigh. “You’re acting like Mama the first time Lixie slept over at the Kim’s house.” Jae let out another sigh before Younghyun placed a kiss on his forehead and continued to drag him down the hall to their bedroom. They did their nightly routine quickly and settled into bed. 

“They really tire you out by, like, noon. I was worried about Sungie’s migraines acting up or Felix having a meltdown in public, or God forbid Minho get in a fight with the other two over babying the babies.” Jae mumbled into his pillow as Younghyun switched off his lamp. 

“Well, Lix did have a meltdown. He didn’t want to walk anymore, I swear I did what Dad always does, but he reacted so badly. That’s why I had both Felix and Changbin in my arms when we got to the restaurant.” He felt Jae’s hand smack his stomach and he let out a puff of air upon contact. “Sorry, I should have told you earlier.” 

“It’s alright, Bri. Just try to get some sleep before the heathens wake up again.” Jae said with a laugh, “I love you, Hyunnie.” 

“I love you, too, hyung. Good night.” 

“Hyungie, head.” Jisung said when Jae came to wake them up the next morning. Younghyun was in the kitchen with the kids that were awake. That excluded Chris and Jisung. Jae was just talking before they fell asleep about Jisung’s migraines acting up and here the boy was, telling Jae that his head hurt three days later. The eldest got up from his crouch to close the blinds and draw the curtains, Jisung really became light and sound sensitive when he got migraines. He was glad the boy hadn’t already thrown up next to the air mattress. 

He was tucked into Chris’ side, the reason Chris wasn’t in the kitchen with the rest of the boys. He pulled Jisung away from Chris, telling his brother to find Jisung’s medicine and water, and tucked Jisung into his chest to hide him from any light coming from the room. Chris was back with medicine and water with Jeongin on his heels with noise cancelling headphones. Jae coaxed the large (for a boy Jisung’s size) pill down the sick boy’s throat and let Jisung nuzzle back into his chest, carefully settling the headphones over Jisung’s ears.

They sat there in silence. Jae had grabbed his phone and with the brightness on the lowest setting to scroll through social media. His phone popped up with a call from his father. 

“Hey, Mama.” He answered the phone quietly. “Sweetie, why are you so quiet? I can barely hear you over the phone.” 

“Sungie has a migraine and is currently right next to me. I don’t really want to make it worse and have throw up on me.” 

“Oh, poor chick. He does throw up easily. Did you get his meds for him?” Mark asked, Jae scoffed like he couldn’t believe his mom thought he couldn’t take care of a child. “I got this, Mom. We’ve baby-sat him while he’s had migraines. It just kinda sucks, one of us are gonna have to stay here with him and the other is gonna deal with eight kids at the zoo and aquarium on their own.” Mark laughed over the phone. 

“How do you think we felt when more of you were little.” Jae just hung his head to gently rest on top of Jisung’s. The hands resting on his sides scrunched around the fabric and Jae recoiled, but a little whine erupted from Jisung and Jae put his head back on Jisung’s. “I gotta go, Mama. We’re doing breakfast and have to figure out the plan for today’s outing.” 

They said good-bye and Jae carefully lifted himself and Jisung to walk to the kitchen. The few boys that were talking shushed each other and stopped talking once Jisung was in the room. Younghyun leaned towards Jae and Jisung to press kisses to their heads and give a little squeeze, “I heard our little Peter Rabbit has a migraine.” Jisung nodded into Jae’s chest, the boy was still trying to eliminate any light and the headphones seemed to do a poor job if he could hear Younghyun through them. 

“Can one of you get me a blanket?” Jae asked in the general direction of the kids before moving to sit in his seat. Jisung stayed wrapped around Jae’s torso like a koala, contrary to his nickname. Seungmin was already back with Jisung’s favourite blanket and Jae draped it over him to block out light. The food that had been set aside for Jisung and Jae was pulled under the blanket and everyone could hear Jisung munching on the apple slices. 

Jae waited for Younghyun to sit at the table before giving the kids options for the day’s outing. “So, kiddos, we were supposed to go to the zoo and aquarium and we still can, but I don’t think Sungie can come with us. He’s too sick,” Jae watched the faces of the elder boys for signs of worry. Chris’ eyes widened and this is what Jae was preparing for, “hyung, I can stay here and watch him-”

“Channie-hyung, you don’t know how to deal with migraines, you’d hurt Sungie more-”

“Well, at least he offered, you were just gonna enjoy the day like your triplet was basically dying-”

“Hyung’s dying?” 

The yelling and arguments and Jeongin and Felix’s crying caused Jisung to begin stirring in Jae’s lap. Jae tried to shush him and bounce the boy under the blanket when he felt and heard Jisung retch. The eldest boy ripped the blanket off of Jisung and cradled him closer to his chest as he rushed to the bathroom. Jisung had already thrown up on his pajamas, Jae stripped the small boy before placing him in the shower. The water that came out of the shower head was cold and had Jisung flinching back before he grabbed his stomach and threw up again. 

Jae had taken off his shirt so it wouldn’t get soaked as he helped Jisung, now he was thankful because Jisung’s vomiting seemed nowhere near stopping. He rubbed his hand up and down Jisung’s back, placing his other hand and resting it on the small boy’s stomach. In between waves of throwing up, Jae kneaded Jisung’s stomach, trying to alleviate the cramps that had started. 

“Hyungie,” Jisung whimpered out. He pushed at the headphones still over his ears, Jae understood and took them off. Jisung sunk against the side of the shower wall and his head lolled forward. “I’m here, Sungie. Do you think you’re done throwing up, sweetheart?” Jae asked in a volume just above the soft roar of the water hitting the floor. Jisung nodded, he held out his arms, a gesture to be picked up. 

Jae pulled off his shorts and fully climbed into the shower to let Jisung cuddle him. While Jisung was distracted, Jae massaged his scalp and dropped a dollop of shampoo onto his head. “Kay, Sungie. We gotta wash your body, baby. Can you stand up for me, sweetheart?” Jae knew he was overdoing it with the pet names but he had seen Uncle Jinyoung act like this with Jisung when he had migraines. He turned into a baby, which was almost true because only Felix was younger than him in their group of children, Jisung liked to be coddled and treated like a two-year-old. Jae had successfully washed Jisung’s hair, washing his tiny body was going to be the challenge. 

Jae had just touched the wash cloth to Jisung’s shoulder when his little hands shoved at Jae. “Wan’ Appa!” he started screaming. The commotion brought Younghyun and the two other triplets rushing into the bathroom. “What’s up, babe?” 

“Appa cleans him while Papa cuddles him. It’s a two person job and you’re the only one here.” Seungmin calmly explained. 

“I can distract him while you clean his body but then we gotta go.” Younghyun offered, “I just got Chris and Wooj to agree to go to the zoo and aquarium today, but if you need one of them to stay,” Younghyun zoned out, focusing his attention on the crying boy in front of him. He pressed soft kisses to his head and cheeks, turning the crying into quiet whimpering. 

“That’s it,” Youngyhun whispered to Jisung as Jae swiped over the leftover throw up on his stomach. Jisung slightly grimaced and tried to bat Jae’s hand way, thankfully with not too much force added this time. “Oh, baby, does your tummy still hurt?” Jisung weakly nodded. 

Seungmin and Jeongin had taken seats beside the door, “thank you, hyung-deul,” Seungmin muttered to the older boys in the room. He had taken his brother’s hand in his own, it was slightly white around the knuckle. Younghyun looked back at the boys and smiled at them, “Sungie’s fine, sweethearts. How ‘bout you go have Chris and Jinnie dress you so we can go to the zoo soon?” Jeongin nodded and led his older triplet out of the room. Younghyun heard a soft “Hyungie!” from the other side of the door after the boys left. 

Jisung made a noise deep from the back of his throat, it was his way of grabbing Younghyun’s attention while Jae tried to rinse his body of the pomegranate body wash suds. “Bri, can you grab the special fluffy towels?” Jae asked as he finished rinsing Jisung off. “Did you hear that Sungie? Hyung’s getting a warm, soft towel for you. We’re gonna get you nice and dry and then go back to sleep, love. How does that sound?” Jae wasn’t expecting an answer but Jisung murmured a tiny “tired, hyungie” before slouching against Jae’s shoulder. 

“I know, baby, I know. We’ll get you out of the water in just a few seconds,” Younghyun had returned with a towel. “Sungie-ah, what’s that colour?” Jae was trying to keep Jisung awake and he only knew to include him in conversation to keep him upright. Jae could only think about Younghyun grabbing Jisung out of the tub and his small feet slipping out from under him and Younghyun’s hand not grabbing Jisung’s waist properly. There was a splash and a thud before Jisung’s screaming filled the echo-y bathroom. 

“Go leave with the kids, don’t worry - I got him.” Jae rushed out in a mix of English and Korean. Younghyun apologised profusely before leaving the room. Jae held Jisung against his chest and checked for blood anywhere on the boy. He sighed with relief after finding nothing. “You’re okay, Sungie. No blood or anything!” Jae whispered in hushed excitement. 

Jisung’s screaming had subsided to whimpers, his head was pushed into Jae’s chest and his hands wrapped around his ears. Any progress that they had made with getting Jisung’s migraine to wan was completely destroyed, judging by how Jisung had his eyes squeezed shut and his breathing was still laboured. Jae ran a hand through Jisung’s wet hair. 

“Okay, love. Now we’re really gonna get you dried off and then it’s nap time for Sungie and Jae.” Jae scooped Jisung into his arms, waiting for Jisung to wrap around Jae securely before chanced standing up. 

Jae made sure Jisung had a glass of water and then watched him gulp down his treat for being a good boy (apple juice) before placing him in Jae and Younghyun’s bed. “Hyungie stay?” Jisung asked quietly as he nuzzled into Younghyun’s pillow. 

“Yeah, sweetheart, hyung’ll stay with you.” Jae replied as he crawled under the covers with Jisung. “Sweet dreams, my little squirrel.” 

Jisung pulled Jae’s eyelids open and smiled as Jae flinched. “Sung, that’s not a nice way to wake up hyung.” Younghyun’s voice came from somewhere close by, Jae could hear him chuckle. “You two slept all day didn’t you? It’s almost six, Jae.” He buried his head back in his pillow and dragged Jisung under his arm to pin him to the bed. 

“Jae-hyung, I’m not tired anymore. You have to make me dinner!” Jisung shouted into Jae’s ear. Jae muttered out some family-friendly versions of swear words before throwing the covers off of his body and sitting up on the bed. “What do you want to eat, squirrel?” 

Jisung listed off a bunch of mostly Korean dishes and Jae sighed. “Burgers? Can you eat that? Bri and I don’t have a lot of Korean food here, baby.” Jisung deflated, “I guess burgers are fine.” 

The two walked to the kitchen-slash-dining room area of the college students’ apartment. Jae could smell Chinese food, thanking Brian for ordering out tonight, and watched in horror as Seungmin spilled fried rice onto the floor. An unapologetic “sorry, hyungie” left his mouth before taking his plate to the living room. Jae pulled out a plate for himself and Jisung, loading them with various foods he knew the younger boy liked. 

They made their way to the living room to find the boys and Younghyun were in similar positions from movie night a few days ago. This time they were starting to watch a princess movie, much to Hyunjin and Jisung’s delight. “We still have four days of this crap,” Jae heard Chris whisper to Minho. 

The car ride to San Francisco was not ideal but the eleven boys somehow managed it. Jae and Younghyun only had one car while they were at school, it fit seven people on a good day with another five skinny friends. They knew it was unsafe to try and squeeze nine boys in the back seats of their mom van. 

They ended up renting a 12-passenger van specifically for the drive down and decided to take a train back, Jae thought it would be a nice difference from Korean trains and Younghyun simply nodded in agreement. They had a busy day ahead of them. The kids were woken up at two am and had a small cereal bar or poptart shoved in their hands as Jae and Younghyun dressed their sleepy bodies. Seungmin was so tired, any time Younghyun didn’t have an arm around his tiny body he fell limp on the floor. Changbin saw the younger do this and decided it looked like fun in his sleepiness. 

After the children had been fed and properly clothed, they were loaded in the car. Felix and Jisung demanding to be held and carried to the car. Younghyun effortlessly picked the two kids up and buckled them into their seat. “Just go back to sleep, sweethearts. You’ll be in San Fran when you wake up again.” Jae sung softly as he got into the driver’s seat. 

Chris and Minho, being the oldest and biggest boys, were seated farthest from the young adults. They seemed to obey Jae’s suggestion the quickest, Chris had rested his head on Minho’s shoulder. Hyunjin and two-thirds of the triplets sat in front of them quietly complaining about how the youngest of them were babied and the eldests acted like their parents. Changbin sat next to Jeongin signing that it wasn’t nice to talk about people behind their backs, but was ultimately ignored when Seungmin grabbed his hands and told him to shut up. 

Only Felix and Jisung made a fuss, they were babbling and whining to get Younghyun’s attention. When his hand was awkwardly twisted to be placed in between the maknaes, Felix let out a whimper. “Want hyungie.” He defiantly shoved Younghyun’s hand into lap. 

“Lix, I am a hyung.” Younghyun knew he meant Jae, but the older family member was driving and should only be concentrating on the road (even if it was nearing three am and not a lot of people were on the highway yet.) “Wrong.” was all Felix replied as Jisung happily played with Younghyun’s fingers, he tried to put them in his mouth at one point and Younghyun jerked his hand away. 

“Just go to sleep boys, you’re fussy and whiny because you’re tired. Go back to bed, I even packed your blankets for you.” Younghyun searched blindly for the pieces of fabric to hand to the boys. They eventually got the message and Younghyun turned to get comfortable in the passenger’s seat. He watched Jae’s eyes flick to the back mirror to check on the kids every few minutes to make sure they were asleep. 

“They’re fine, babe. You don’t have to constantly look after them to make sure they’re alright,” Younghyun moved his hand to Jae’s thigh and squeezed reassuringly. Jae nodded before switching the radio on to a low volume. 

“I don’t like the quiet. Now that they’ve been here for almost a week I kinda got used to the cacophony again. Makes me remember what I missed about being home.” Jae sighed, placing a hand over Younghyun’s. 

“Does that mean you want to move back to Korea after school?” The Canadian hopefully asked. It had been a subject they were currently discussing - Younghyun hated calling it arguing. Jae wanted to stay in L.A, the U.S. in general, to pursue music without the harsh criteria and expectations that came with the Korean music industry but Younghyun had wanted to move back to Korea, suggesting the two of them work in the music industry but not specialise in pop with any of the big companies. 

“Hyun, love, we’re not talking about this right now. Maybe when the kids leave tomorrow night,” Jae began to think he successfully dodged the heavy discussion again but felt Younghyun’s hand slip off of his thigh and knew his comment had upset the younger. They drove in tense silence, Younghyun eventually putting headphones on and fall asleep for the rest of the drive. 

“Hyungie?” Seungmin had tugged on Jae’s sleeve to catch his attention, “why is it called the Golden Gate Bridge when it isn’t even gold?” The two of them stood on the sidewalk, Seungmin staring at the bridge in wonder. They were the only ones who claimed they didn’t have to go to the bathroom and decided to look at the sea lions while they waited. “The part of the ocean underneath us is called the Golden Gate, so this is it’s bridge. It’s red because that’s the coat of protection. Do you remember when your papa had to film in New York and the Statue of Liberty was green?” 

He waited for Seungmin to nod, “it’s green because it’s oxidized like an old penny.” Seungmin didn’t understand the analogy but nodded to please his hyung. He ran his hand over the cold metal as he moved his attention to the sea lions. “They don’t do much, hyung. Just like Minho-hyung.” Jae snickered at Seungmin’s unintentional joke.

Jae spotted Brian walking towards them and his face lit into a smile at the sight of eight small children holding hands or clutching Younghyun’s jacket to stay near him on the crowded sidewalk. Younghyun had Felix in his arms, ‘We really need to stop babying him,’ Jae thought to himself. Chris ran over to him holding a cup in his hands held high to avoid spilling it. 

“Jae-hyung! We brought you coffee!” He screamed out in delight. Minho had a similar, albeit smaller, cup in his own hand with two straws poking out of the hole. Jaehyung was going to kill Brian if he willingly gave the kids caffeine at 10 am. 

Jae took the still steaming cup from Chan’s hand and leaned down to press a kiss to the top of his head as a thank you. “Brian-hyung, we’re ready to go to the park now.” Minho said proudly as he beamed up at Jae. The rest of the kids latched onto Jae or Younghyun before they set out for the park. 

By the time the boys got to the designated restaurant for dinner, they looked exhausted. Felix and Jeongin were barely standing on their own, Jisung and, surprisingly, Seungmin had given up on walking entirely as Jisung sat in Jae’s arms and Seungmin clung to Younghyun’s back. Chris pushed himself into the booth and pulled Seungmin off of Younghyun’s back before Minho and Jisung settled next to them. The rest of the boys squished into the other side. 

They ate in silence, except the flitting comments towards a boy from Jae encouraging them to eat more. Halfway through the meal, Younghyun glanced to see Minho passed out on Jisung with his mouth wide open. He had to stifle a laugh as he pulled his phone out and sent a picture to the group chat with all the parents. Jisung looked close to falling asleep too, but constantly jerked his head up when it fell into Minho’s hair. 

The kids quickly finished eating, Younghyun paid and carried their food out. “Hun, do you still want to take the train tonight or tomorrow morning?” They had already given the rental car back and had been making their way through the city by foot. They’d have to get three hotel rooms to fit all the boys comfortably or hop on a train back to LA while all the kids slept. 

“If we sleep here Sungie’s going to whine and scream about not wearing pjs. You know how he is with the clothes Jinyoung packs him,” Younghyun reasoned as he grabbed Changbin’s hand. Jae nodded in agreement and searched on his phone for directions to the station. 

“Hyungie, I’m not sleepy,” Hyunjin whined as he was buckled into the seat. Chris pulled out a blanket, draping it over Hyunjin and Seungmin quietly urging the two boys to sleep. “It’s after ten, you’re going to bed.” 

Jae rested his head on Younghyun’s shoulder and felt a hand card through his hair. “We have to stay up and watch the kids, I’ll fall asleep if you keep doing that.” He whispered into Younghyun’s neck. 

“You drove us here and I napped, now I stay awake and you rest, love. Hopefully they stay asleep during the ride.” Jae hoped for the same thing, letting his eyes slip shut. The train’s movement and the warmth radiating from Younghyun lulled Jae to sleep in no time. 

Jae giggled as he watched Chris struggled to pull his suitcase behind him. Beside him, Younghyun was lecturing Minho on watching over the younger boys and no losing anything. He overheard “Mama will kill me. Us.” and he called Chris and Minho back from fully entering the airport to give them the same speech. 

Younghyun blindly searched for Jae’s hand, not wanting to take his eyes off of the nine boys that made their way through security. “They’ll be fine, right?”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wonpil has to suffer through getting his wisdom teeth extracted, but he has a great family to make him comfortable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Double Update! Be on the look out for chapter 8! 
> 
> Hope you enjoy this chapter!

Out of all the older boys, somehow only Wonpil ended up with the unfortunate wisdom teeth extraction. He went into the procedure a hot mess, all nervous and sweaty palms. Only his phorn had managed to get the day off when, really, who was Wonpil kidding, his appa could have calmed him down faster and more effectively. His phorn had made a wise crack at how they would have to stick Wonpil with a needle three times for the IV anesthesia to find one of his small, deep veins. 

His phorn was right, one prick in his right hand and two in his left and an hour later, Wonpil was walked to the recovery chair. “You did really well, sweetie. We’re just gonna get your appa and then you can go.” Wonpil was confused, ‘when did his appa get here?’ He smiled to himself, thinking about how his appa would get him a large slushie from the gas station and the best mac and cheese from his favourite fast food chain. Imagine the disappointment he felt when the slightly shorter parent with an undercut came into view. 

“Hey, kiddo. Let’s get you into the car and on our way home.” Bambam sang in a light voice, “the nurses already told me everything you need to do when we’re home again. And Channie is making sure your dongsaengs stay quiet so you can rest.” Bambam helped Wonpil into the car and took long strides to the driver’s side of the car. 

“No appa?” Wonpil asked in soft confusion. He had turned to his side to watch his phorn merge onto the expressway. “No, baby. They probably didn’t know you called me ‘father’ in a different language.” Bambam chuckled, “appa’s still at work, remember?” 

Wonpil did not remember. Not remembering made him sad and before he could even register what was happening, Bambam swiped at tears while they were stopped at a red light. “Oh, sweetheart, why are you crying?” 

“Appa!” Wonpil wailed out through the gauze stuck in between his jaws like a five-year-old. Bambam was startled, he hadn’t heard one of his children cry for a parent since Hyunjin was six, and that was four years ago. He desperately tried to calm Wonpil while maintaining safe driving skills to get them home six minutes faster than normal. 

They walked into a quiet house, Bambam silently thanked Chan for doing so well with a hyper Hyunjin and a cranky Changbin before sending him home, and Bambam settled Wonpil on the couch with a glass of water, two ice packs, and his three mandatory pills. “Okay, Pillie, phorn needs you to carefully take these pills and then you can watch movies or nap.” Wonpil was still sobbing heavily but took the three pills from Bambam’s hand. He took each of them individually, slightly spilling water every gulp. 

“The nurse said you might not feel your lower lip for the next twelve hours, they shot a lot of anesthesia into your body.” Bambam explained while dabbing at the dribble on Wonpil’s cheek. He tried to pry his mouth open to replace the gauze stuck in between his gums but Wonpil snapped at him. “I can do it myself, phorn.” 

Bambam watched at Wonpil plucked the cotton from his mouth, staring at it disgustingly before depositing it into the small Ziploc baggie Bambam had brought him. Wonpil carefully folded new gauze pads to place back in his mouth. “Alright, Pil. I can turn the t.v. on for you,” Bambam suggested. All he got was a nod and a mumbled word, “dongsaeng-deul” before Wonpil turned his attention to the television in front of him. 

Bambam walked away to see if any of his other children were up. The only child that could possibly be asleep was Hyunjin, the boy had an affinity for taking naps despite his peers growing out of that phase. All three younger boys were quietly playing in Changbin’s room. Changbin was writing on five-lined paper, obviously working on a new piece for 3Racha. Chan was fidgeting with his phone, Bambam assumed he was texting Minho about the school project sitting on the desk. Hyunjin was staring at the family tablet and writing down made up names for the dance moves he saw on the YouTube video. 

Bambam knocked to let the kids know he was there, three heads turned simultaneously to see their father. “Phorn!” came two soft shouts, Changbin pushing himself up and running to hug Bambam. “Hi, guys. Wonpil-ah is back and asked to see you guys. Or at least two of you,” Bambam said as he attempted to pick up Changbin. He groaned but was able to plant the small boy on his hip. “You’re lucky you’re underdeveloped, Binnie.” Bambam whispered into the boy’s ear before pressing a kiss to his forehead. 

Hyunjin raced passed their father and brother to get to Wonpil. Bambam called out to him before they entered the living room and put his index finger to his lips, shushing the maknae. Hyunjin understood the command immediately and dramatically began to tiptoe the rest of the way to his hyung. “Pillie-hyung, how are you?” Hyunjin spoke in a hushed voice, just loud enough to be heard over the t.v. show. 

Wonpil gave the boy a thumbs up before patting the spaces beside him on the couch. There was just enough room on one side for Hyunjin’s lanky body to wiggle on in. They both snuggled before Hyunjin accidentally bumped into Wonpil’s jaw and Wonpil jerked with a scream. 

‘The numbing agents must be wearing off,’ Bambam thought to himself as he placed Changbin down next to the ground and grabbed an ice pack. Hyunjin had pressed himself against the edge of the couch, trying to get away from Wonpil as much as he could to avoid hurting him again. “Pil-ah, you alright?” Bambam asked as he readjusted the ice packs on Wonpil’s jaw. 

The teen nodded before beckoning Hyunjin to cuddle up to him, Bambam muttering a small ‘be careful’ as the maknae settled back in. Changbin clambered onto the couch, he took the space in between Wonpil’s open legs and used his right thigh as a pillow to watch t.v. Wonpil patted Changbin’s hair before focusing back on the t.v. himself. 

Wonpil didn’t know when he had fallen asleep, but his appa was in front of him replacing the ice packs still pressed to his jaw. “Appa,” Wonpil muttered, Yugyeom nodded while he adjusted the towel around the ice packs. “I can’t feel my face, appa.”

“That’s normal at this stage, Pillie. Worry about that in a few weeks if it’s still happening.” Yugyeom was still in work mode, explaining symptoms and telling his patient to come back if they persisted after a certain time period. “Appa, be Appa.” Wonpil mumbled as Yugyeom stuck his fingers in Wonpil’s mouth. 

He smiled at Wonpil, “then who’s gonna doctor you back to health. We both know phorn can’t, he told me you wouldn’t even let him touch your mouth or gauze. But I just did both, Pencil.” Wonpil sighed before seeing Hyunjin still leaned up against him. 

His phorn also walked into the living room and asked him what he wanted to eat for dinner. He had only gotten three options, mashed potatoes, mac and cheese, and ramen. Wonpil went with the second option, his craving from earlier coming back. “Hey, let’s order from that place. It had good chicken for the boys and we can get sides of mac and cheese for Pil-ah.” His appa had suggested the exact type of dinner he wanted, Wonpil silently celebrated when he phorn agreed. 

“Kay, Pil. Just sleep like this and try not to move. Don’t lay on your cheeks or jaw. Got it, baby?” Wonpil nodded as much as the neck pillow around him allowed. Yugyeom pressed a kiss to his forehead before turning the lights off and closing the door to his room. 

This was not how Wonpil was used to sleeping, he couldn’t understand how anyone would find this position comfortable. He groaned before pushing himself into an upright position and flicking on his bedside lamp. He carefully reached for a book by his bed, blindly picking up one. IT. Wonpil quickly set the book down, he refused to read the horror novel when there was no daylight. His second attempt brought the book assigned for literature class; The Kite Runner. 

Wonpil was already ahead of his class but couldn’t help himself from continuing where he left off. As he finished the next chapter he heard a creak from his door. This was the reason he didn’t read horror stories at night. 

“Woonie-hyung?” Wonpil almost laughed. The little head that poked through the door to reveal Changbin, he had tears in his eyes and Wonpil’s urge left him immediately. “Oh, Binnie. What’s wrong?” the older brother asked as he pushed his book to the side. 

The middle child walked into Wonpil’s room with his Munchlax in hand and blanket dragging behind him. ‘Bad dream,’ he signed. ‘Don’t want wisdom teeth out.’ 

Wonpil could practically hear the pout in his signing and opened his arms. “Hyungie will make it better.” Changbin pushed himself into Wonpil’s chest as soon as he was settled on the bed. Wonpil’s hands twirled small pieces of black hair began to pet him. The bedside lamp was kept on so the scary oral surgeon couldn’t hurt Changbin or Wonpil anymore. 

“Love you, Changbinnie.”

“Love you too, Woonie-hyung.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is definitely not a projection onto Wonpil for how my winter break went. I was not as emotional as Pencil. But my dad was soooo Yugyeom the first few days.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How a babysitter can change things; a focus on the Im family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the second update tonight, so if you did read seven you can read that after or before this one. I hope you enjoy.
> 
> ALSO! If there are any moments where Dowoon calls Sana 'noona' please let me know. I wrote this thinking Sana was older and then checked and had to switch it.

Minho thought he hated the babysitter that came to take care of him when Dowoon had a performance and his dad had to work overtime. Most Fridays Dowoon would pick him up from kindergarten, the older kids got out earlier than Minho and his friends because they started at what seemed like dawn. His older brother would walk him home, change him into comfy clothes, and wait for the babysitter, Sana, to knock at the door. Minho would cling to Dowoon’s long legs or hide his drumsticks to keep him at home for just a little longer. 

Minho claims he hates Sana because the teen looked like the precious pictures of his mother, his father kept every single picture with her face on it in a box, it was locked underneath his bed. Once every month, Minho cracked the small lock using his mother’s birthday. He had sat against the wall and silently cried while looking at the pictures of his mother holding him or opening her arms to Dowoon or her cooking while their father hugged her from behind. And his babysitter, the teenager that took care of him so well, just had to look like his late mother. 

“Minnie, I’m leaving!” Dowoon’s voice echoed up the stairs and into Minho’s bedroom. Minho was sat at his small desk completing his colouring homework, the particular instructions were hard and Minho didn’t even hear his brother announce his departure. He was only brought back to reality by a person with long, blonde hair kneeling beside him and calling his name. 

“-ho, Min-ah,” it was Sana. Minho was startled, he hadn’t recognised the babysitter with her new hair colour. His small hands reached out to grab a thin strand of Sana’s hair to inspect the colour, “pretty, Sana-noona, really pretty.” She thanked him before asking him if Dowoon had fed him a snack. Minho shook his head and looked at her with puppy dog eyes, Minho wanted sweets and would only get them if Sana thought he was well-behaved. 

Surprisingly, Sana agreed to let Minho have caramel with his apple slices. They were sat at the kitchen table, the colouring homework long forgotten as Minho made a sticky mess of himself. “Thank you, noona.” 

“You’re welcome, kiddo. How was school today?” Sana followed along with Minho’s babbling as he angrily shouted about Chris leaving him behind to play with other friends, gleefully spoke about their teacher giving them a few extra minutes of nap time because she had to grade papers, and reminded Sana that his dad wouldn’t be home until really late and Dowoon wasn’t even coming home tonight. The babysitter would nod or mumble out hums to let Minho know she was still listening as she began to wipe off the table and Minho’s face. 

It was only 4:30 and Minho had just devoured sugar in its stickiest form, soon the boy was jumping in place in the living room while waiting for Sana to turn on the t.v. “Anything in particular, Minnie-ah?” Minho politely asked for music videos or dance practices of the latest boy groups. Sana promptly looked for a dance she knew Minho would join in on. 

“Noona!” Minho screamed at Sana when the video began to play. In seconds, the nine-year-old was in tears, screaming in between sobs. Sana had muted the t.v. and rushed to crouch next to the crying boy. “Minnie, what’s wrong?” 

The only word Sana could make out was ‘eomma’, Minho was repeating it whenever he took a breath. The babysitter looked up at the t.v. again and saw her mistake; she played a video of Momo when she was still in a girl group. She held Minho tightly in a hug and apologised profusely. Minho refused to calm down, everytime Sana would try to comfort the boy he would kick and screech louder. She was left with two options, call one of Minho’s uncles - Youngjae never had his phone on him when he was working - or let the boy tire himself out. 

Sana really didn’t want to hear the boy crying any longer, her heart ached for Minho, so she picked up her phone and called Jaebum. “Please, please, pick up, your nephew needs you,” she muttered while the phone rang. 

“Hello, this is Park Jaebum.” 

“Jaebum-ssi, I’m sorry to call you but Minho is really upset and I can’t get him to calm down.” Sana almost sounded on the brink of tears herself. 

“Is that him in the background?” A voice that wasn’t Jaebum’s asked. Sana assumed it was Jinyoung, the two were attached at the hip any moment they were given. 

“Yes, sir. He’s been crying for a half hour now and he doesn’t seem to be done yet,” Sana sighed into her shoulder, looking back at Minho. The boy still had tears streaming down his red cheeks, his eyes were puffy from rubbing at them and he kept trying to put his fingers in his mouth before he seemingly reminded himself that he was a ‘big boy’. Sana just wanted to wrap him up in a blanket or do anything to get his tears to stop, she didn’t care what it would take. 

“Hey, Sana,” Jaebum had reclaimed his phone from his husband, “try to get him into his bed, I know it’s only five in the afternoon but a nap might be what helps. It could just be a rough day and he’s trying to hide it.” Sana nodded before remembering she was on the phone. She thanked the Parks and hung up, securing her phone in her pocket so the chance of Minho kicking or destroying it were slim. 

“Hey, Min-ah,” Sana began, “we’re gonna go take a nap. How does that sound?” She left no room for discussion as she picked up Minho and rested him in her hip. He immediately calmed down a significant amount, he was no longer screaming. “Minnie, you can suck on your fingers, I won’t tell Appa or Dowoonie,” Sana thought that would help him relax even more and she was right. 

With permission, Minho put his two small, middle fingers in between his teeth and began to suck on them like a pacifier. A few moments after that Minho rested his head on Sana’s shoulder, his other hand running through her soft, blonde hair. “Eomma,” Minho still occasionally whimpered through his fingers. The tears had stopped though, Sana occasionally swiping at his cheeks to dry them while walking to his room. Sana took to lightly bouncing him in her arms as they walked up the stairs, hoping to ease the boy into sleeping. As she placed him in his bed, Minho gripped the hair he had been playing with. 

“Min, you need to let go of my hair,” Sana said quietly, she tried to not break the calm little bubble that had built up around the two of them. But with horror, Sana watched Minho’s mouth contort around his fingers into a frown and a fresh set of tears began to trickle down his face. Sana scooped Minho back up and began rocking him. 

“You’re just a baby, aren’t you?” She said as Minho resumed his position in her arms, “poor thing, you’re so tired and your friends were mean today and those extra minutes of nap time probably didn’t do you any good either, huh?” She felt Minho nod, but she knew he didn’t know what he was agreeing to. 

Sana stood in the middle of Minho’s room for another half hour, alternating between bouncing and rocking the boy in her arms. She had sung lullabies to try to get Minho to fall asleep, luckily she felt his breathing even out on her neck right before she thought her legs were going to give out. Minho was a small child, but after an hour of holding him she was tired. 

Sana tucked Minho into his bed and pulled the blanket up to his chin before pressing a kiss to his forehead. She grabbed the spare blanket kept at the end of the bed and wrapped it around herself as she settled into the rocking chair in the corner of Minho’s room. She played on her phone until she heard whimpering from Minho’s bed. She looked at the clock on her phone, the five-year had only been sleeping for 45 minutes. She decided it was enough, considering the hour she took trying to calm him down could count towards naptime. 

Sana crept quietly to Minho’s bed and carded her fingers through his dark, damp hair. She figured she’d have to give him a half bath if he kept this sweating up. “Minho-ah, it’s time to walk up. It’s almost dinner time and appa left you pizza rolls to have.” 

“Wan’ pasta,” Minho groaned out as he nuzzled into Sana’s hand in his hair. “That can be arranged, little one. But you have to get up,” Sana guided Minho into a seated position. She watched as Minho grumbled and held his arms up for Sana to carry him to the kitchen. 

“Uh-huh,” Sana tutted. “You’re a big boy, you can walk by yourself.” Minho’s face morphed into a pout before he spoke, “You called me your baby before naptime.” Sana smiled and led Minho down the stairs and into the kitchen. He sat at the table, alternating between watching Pororo and Sana. 

Sana finished making the pasta for Minho quickly, the children’s show was only going to keep him entertained for so long. A small bowl was placed in front of him and Sana took back her phone, turning off the show Minho was watching. “It was getting to the good part, noona!” Minho protested as he picked up a fork. 

“We can finish it on the t.v. once you’ve eaten and cleaned up.” Minho’s pout made another appearance but Sana carried on with eating. She let them eat in peace and waited for Minho to talk about anything. He didn’t, just staring at his meal and moving it around in the bowl. “What’s wrong, sweetheart? Aren’t you hungry?” 

Minho shook his head and placed it on the table. His hair flopped into his eyes as he closed them. Sana moved to pick up their bowls and place them in the sink, before going back over to Minho and checking him. She put her hand on his forehead, it was still hot like before and he was still sweating. “Ah, Minnie. I think you’re sick, honey. Let’s get you to the bathroom.” 

Sana carried Minho to the bathroom and set him down on the edge of the toilet while she looked for medicine and a thermometer underneath the sink. Minho opened his mouth to let the thermometer be rested underneath his tongue. A few moments later, there was a beep. It startled Minho but was soon pulled away from him. 

“Your fever’s at 102, sweetheart. If it gets any higher we have to go to a doctor. How are you feeling?” The boy really didn’t respond, he just tilted back into the tub and threw up. Sana was next to him in an instant, rubbing his back and pushing his hair out of his face. Minho heaved until there was nothing left. He looked back up at Sana and muttered a small ‘sorry, noona.’ 

Sana reassured him that it was alright as she stripped him of his clothes. He fussed a little when he began to pull off his underwear and Sana told him to keep it on. “I’m not saying you’ll have to keep wet undies on, I’m just saying you’re keeping them on as we clean you, Min.” Minho gave up his fight when Sana promised he could wear his soft, special pjs while they watched Big Hero 6 on the couch. 

They were halfway through the movie when Minho began shifting in his sleep. Sana left to grab the thermometer and check his temperature again. She came back to the living room to see Minho hunched over the trash can she had brought down. She waited for Minho to stop before wiping off his mouth. She stuck the thermometer in again and watched the screen turn red, the visual sign that his temperature was too high for even a bad fever. She quickly helped Minho brush his teeth at the kitchen sink while texting Youngjae about their departure for the hospital. 

She knew Youngjae’s schedule was until at least midnight, but she hoped the singer could get a chance to glance at his phone and see what was happening. Sana also texted Jaebum, he was the kids’ emergency contact for anything and this counted as an emergency in her opinion. 

She called Dowoon as she got into the emergency room. “Oppa, Minho’s really sick. We’re at the hospital and they just took him to a room. But I’m not allowed in without family permission. Can you have Jae-oppa drive you here so we can see Minnie? Jaebum-ssi isn’t answering my texts and neither is your dad.” 

Dowoon told Sana that they were on their way. She waited the long fifteen minutes it took for Dowoon and Jae to drive to the hospital room. They explained to the nurse at the front desk that Dowoon was his brother and they wanted to see him. The nurse almost didn’t allow Sana in the room but Dowoon assured her that Sana was his girlfriend and cared about Minho just as much as he did. 

Minho shouting “Noona!” at the top of his lungs only furthered the lie and the nurse reluctantly allowed Sana in the room. The nurse in Minho’s room that was sticking an I.V. into his elbow looked at the two teenagers. “He’s been begging us to get you,” the nurse said pointing to Sana. “He almost bit me when I tried to stick the I.V. in the first time. Ripped it out and demanded his ‘noona’ was here to hold him. He stressed himself out and threw up again. Has he been like this for long?” 

Dowoon shook his head and moved to speak but Sana placed a hand on his arm to quiet him. “We had a snack, but I played a video and he threw a tantrum. It took me forever to put him down for a nap, but I let him sleep for maybe forty-five minutes or so. When I woke him I noticed he was sweating. I just thought it was from the tantrum and crying.

I made dinner for him but he didn’t eat anything. He never told me his stomach hurt, we even had apple slices and caramel for a snack after school. But he was still sweating. I took his temperature and it was 102. That was at 7 o’ clock. I gave him a bath and we watched half of a movie before I took his temp again. He’s thrown up three times at home. It was over 104 the last time I took it so I brought him hear. He wouldn’t drink or eat anything so he’d probably dehydrated.” The nurse took notes of the timeline. 

“We’ll have to swab him for the flu and see if it comes back positive. The I.V. has something to help bring the fever down. By the time you brought him in it was to 106. Miss, that’s far too dangerous for a child his age.” Sana hung her head at the nurse’s words. 

The nurse left and Minho’s small voice called out to her, Sana looked at him with tears in her eyes. He was so pale, but flushed at the same time. He was sweating so much but Sana could see goosebumps on his arms. “Minnie, I’m so sorry, love. I should have watched you closer.” Minho’s arm not attached to the I.V stretched out to her, he just whimpered ‘noona’ until she came closer and sat beside him. 

Sana sat in silence holding Minho’s hand or caressing his cheek ever so often, watching Minho cry and whimper while the I.V pumped fluids into his tiny arm. Sana registered Dowoon sitting next to her and placing a hand over hers. Minho didn’t seem to notice his brother, only focussing on Sana. His eyes didn’t leave hers as they slowly drifted shut. 

“Sannie,” Dowoon spoke for next to her, “don’t worry about what that nurse said. Min’s gonna be fine. You brought him here in time. Appa texted me that he couldn’t get out of the company until after two. I hate that he’s not here but I’m thankful you noticed something was off with Minnie. I didn’t. I could have given him medicine before you got there and helped him fight this before it got this bad.” 

“Oppa, don’t blame yourself. It’s-” Sana was about to say it was her fault, but that was contrary to what Dowoon just said to her. “We’ll stay here until he’s better.” She felt Dowoon place his head on her shoulder, the hand placed over her own moving to interlace their fingers together. “Careful there, Dowoonie, I might think you’ve lost you crush on Wonpil-ah and like me.” 

Dowoon laughed before sighing, “Is it so bad if I like you?” Sana squeezed hand gently and continued to watch Minho stir in his sleep. 

It was close to three when Dowoon’s phone buzzed on the bed. The boy was asleep in Sana’s lap so she picked it up and answered the phone. “Woon, how’s Minho-ah?” 

“Ah, Youngjae-ssi. Minnie’s asleep right now. The nurse came in a while ago with his test results, he has a really bad case of the stomach flu so they’re going to keep him on an I.V. to make sure he’s hydrated. He was really fussy earlier and cried a lot, but he’s sleeping now and the fever has gone down two degrees.” 

“Thank you Sana, I’m on my way there now. Is the fever a safe degree now?” Sana shook her head before remembering she was on the phone with the father. “Um, no. It’s still high. 104-ish, but better than the peak it reached at 107. They sa- the nurse said he could hav-” Sana cut herself off. He was okay now, he was safe. She looked over to Minho. “He’s better, Youngjae-ssi.” 

“Alright. I’ll see you in a half hour, okay?” Sana replied before hanging up and setting Dowoon’s phone down on the bed again. Her hand began to pass through his hair, she didn’t know if it was to wake him up or to keep him asleep. 

Youngjae came in twenty minutes later holding four Starbucks drinks. He handed one to Sana straight before sitting across from her and Dowoon. “When did her fall asleep?” Youngjae asked with a smile on his face. 

“He fell asleep on my shoulder and then woke himself up when he slipped off. I made him lay down about two hours ago. The performance must have taken a lot out of him.” Sana’s hand was still in Dowoon’s hair, playing absentmindedly with the soft strands. She began to pull away when Dowoon made a noise and her hand returned to his head. “I didn’t know you were babysitting both of my boys, I guess I have to pay you more now, Sana.” 

Sana began to refuse until she heard a soft “San” from under her. 

“Good morning, Dowoonie. Have a nice nap?” He nodded and gave her a sleepy smile as he repositioned himself on her lap. “Hi, appa.” Dowoon greeted his father. Youngjae reached across the bed to hand Sana Dowoon’s cup of coffee. “Hey, Dowoon. How was the concert?” 

The father and son talked while Sana listened, speaking only when prompted. All of her focus was on Minho’s sleeping form. It looked like he really was getting better, more colour was coming back to his face and he had almost stopped shifting in his sleep. 

“San, he’s okay.” Dowoon reassured while beginning to stroke her leg. “Know it off, that tickles, you perv.” He moved his arm away from her leg and apologised. She smiled at him before he reminded her “Ya! It’s still oppa to you.” “Oh, yeah? Even with your half ass confusing confession.” Sana retorted quietly.

“Sorry, Sannie.” Dowoon spoke as Youngjae interrupted, “Confession?!” Both teens shh’ed Youngjae as Minho curled into a tighter ball underneath the covers. 

“Appa, it’s something we haven’t discussed. Don’t worry about it,” Dowoon shrugged off the exclamation. They dropped the subject and fell into comfortable silence. It took five minutes for Youngjae to fall asleep, despite the coffee he had downed while talking to Dowoon. Dowoon and Sana occasionally sipped their own drinks, laughing when condensation from Sana’s frappuccino fell onto Dowoon’s face. 

Sana looked over to see Minho’s eyes opened and trailing the teens’ movements. “Hey, Minnie. How are you feeling?” He replied with a slow ‘good’ before looking over to his father. 

“What time is it, noona? Hyung?” 

“Oh, now he notices me. This whole night has been all about noona. I felt very left out Min-ah.” Dowoon put a hand to his heart and clutched it like it was in pain. The overdramatic action made Minho let out a loud laugh. “I guess you are feeling better if you can laugh at Dowoonie like that.” Sana high fived Minho. 

“It’s about 3:30, sweetheart. You should go back to sleep.” Sana tried to prevent Minho from sitting up but Dowoon acted as an obstacle. He finally got up from her lap. 

“I’ll go to sleep when you do, noona. Make sure you take off your makeup too, it’s all runny from crying.” Minho pointed out. Sana was horrified and quickly swiped under her eyes to get rid of the mascara streaks. “Here, Sana, you can use my lap this time.” Dowoon had balled up his sweatshirt and placed it on his lap like a pillow for Sana. She blushed as she maneuvered to make her skirt as long as possible before laying her head on Dowoon’s lap hesitantly. 

She felt fabric drape over her legs and looked over her shoulder to see Dowoon wrap her in his coat, “what? It’s cold in here.” She thanked Dowoon as she nuzzled into his sweatshirt. ‘He smells really good,’ was the last thing Sana thought before drifting off to sleep. 

Sana was woken up by hands in her hair. “I told noona that her hair looked so much better when it’s blonde but she didn’t even say thank you.” Sana could hear the pout in Minho’s voice, Youngjae’s laugh rang through the room. She slowly opened her eyes and tried to sit up but was stopped by Dowoon’s arm wrapped around her. 

“Sorry about him. He’s been like that since he fell asleep.” Youngjae apologised for Dowoon’s arm on her waist, almost directly touching her but the padded jacket he had placed over her was still secure around her middle. “Noona! The doctor said I can go home today. We were just waiting for you and hyungie to wake up.” 

Sana nodded. “I’m glad Minnie. Let’s wake Dowoonie and leave. You still have a movie to finish at home.” Minho perked up and started talking louder to wake up Dowoon. It eventually worked, Dowoon stirring in his sleep and tightening his grip on Sana’s waist. “We can go home now, noona! Hyungie’s up.” 

Youngjae moved to calm down as Dowoon fully woke up. The younger apologised profusely as he retracted his arm, Sana saw the blush rise from his neck to his ears. “Ah, Sana. Can we all ride to our house with you? My manager just dropped me off and we don’t have a car.” Sana nodded and said she would pull it to up the entrance so Minho didn’t have to walk so far again. 

Sana didn’t expect Minho to greet her at the door the next Friday already in pajamas, his hair was still slightly damp from a shower. “Do the men in your house not learn anything, Minnie?” Sana corralled Minho into the bathroom to properly dry his hair. “Dowoonie-hyung is coming back kinda early tonight, noona. Can we stay up until he comes back?” 

“We’ll have to see, sweetheart, you still need proper sleep,” Sana started. Minho turned around to pout at Sana, trying to extend his bedtime. The teen stayed strong, refusing to give in to Minho’s request before seeing just how late Dowoon would be back. 

As she made dinner for Minho and herself, she texted Dowoon. He told her that he would come back around 10, which was two hours after Minho’s bedtime. Hopefully, Sana could distract Minho with a movie and get him to sleep before waking him up before Dowoon returned home. 

Minho enthusiastically ate the meal Sana prepared, animatedly talking about his week at school. “Noona! You should have seen Chan-hyung. He got sick too and had to leave school early. I’m glad noona and hyungie didn’t get sick.” Sana smiled at the five-year-old, she wouldn’t tell Minho that she was out of school herself for four days, just better enough to watch him. 

Minho let Sana decide what they watched for the night. “Are you sure, Minnie? I have a drama to start and it might be too lovey-dovey for you.” He just quipped back with “oh, please, noona! I see Chris and Daehwi act like a drama all the time.” 

Sana laughed as she scrolled to watch the show she was currently sucked into. Minho poked her ten minutes into the episode, “can we cuddle?” Of course Sana let Minho readjust himself in her lap. 

“Your pajamas are soft, noona.” Minho murmured as he played with the cotton seam of her shirt. After another few minutes, Minho rested his head on Sana’s chest. “Noona, I’m tired.” 

“I could tell, Minnie. Just close your eyes.” Minho listened and his eyes slipped shut soon after Sana suggested the nap. Sana felt her shirt rise up and looked down to find it and Minho’s fingers stuck in his mouth. Sana wanted to be embarrassed or reprimand the boy in her lap but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. 

He looked so helpless and peaceful, with his tiny hand not in his mouth curled into a ball against her bare stomach and his cheek snuggling closer into her chest. He stayed in that position for three episodes of Sana’s drama. Even when Dowoon quietly walking into the living room, Minho stayed cuddled into Sana’s upper body. Dowoon made a move to pick him up, but Sana stopped him. 

“Just sit here and let him sleep for another episode,” Sana whispered as Dowoon sat next to her. His jeans pressed into her fuzzy pajama bottoms, and his attention turned to the drama playing on the t.v. Dowoon slowly scooted closer to her and Sana rested her head on Dowoon’s shoulder before he could do the same to her. “You thought you were smooth,” Sana smirked as she watched the male lead go in for a kiss. 

“Noona,” Minho was shifting in her lap, seemingly awake. “Is hyungie back yet?” Minho asked, taking his fingers out for the question and sticking them right back in. Sana looked down at Minho to see his eyes still closed. “Minnie, open your eyes, sweetheart.” 

She saw his eyelids flutter open and a small smile took form on Minho’s face. “Hi, hyungie. Was the concert good?” Dowoon ruffled Minho’s fluffy hair, “it was. Jae-hyung even danced tonight, looked a lot like Chicken Little. Now that you know how my night was it’s time to get you to bed.” 

Minho gripped Sana’s shirt tighter, a silent plea for Sana to take him to his bedroom. She wrapped her arms around his small body and picked him up. They walked up to Minho’s bedroom, the small night light automatically turned on. She placed Minho on his bed and tucked him in. “Goodnight, Min-ah.” She placed a kiss on his head as his eyes slipped shut for the second time that night. “Goodnight, I love you, noona.” 

Sana closed Minho’s door until just a crack was left, just in case he woke up and Dowoon or Youngjae needed to get to him quickly. She carefully walked down the stairs in the dark, greeted by Dowoon still sitting on the couch watching the drama. “Is it that interesting, oppa?” He absentmindedly nodded in response. 

She went to grab her coat, zipping it to completely cover up her pajama shirt. She felt warmth behind her and turned around to see Dowoon inches from her. “You were gone from school, Sana.” 

“I didn’t think you’d notice,” Dowoon was the grade above her and they didn’t share any classes. They did have a free period together, but she hung out with Chungha, Ten, Taeseob, and Somin while Dowoon always grouped with Wonpil, Johnny, Yunhyeong, and Sungjae.

“Of course I noticed, Sannie. Ten didn’t have anyone to bother and complained to Johnny-hyung about you being gone. That was on Monday. You didn’t come back until today.” Dowoon took a step closer to her. Sana stepped back too and was met with a wall behind her. 

A tiny gasped left Sana’s lips as she saw Dowoon take in her face and place his arm on the wall behind her. “Oppa,” Sana started before losing the courage to continue, Dowoon leaning down to be more eye-level with her. 

“Tell me to stop and I will, Sana.” Dowoon looked into Sana’s eyes, searching for any resistance. “Tell me to kiss you, please,” the tone was almost begging as Dowoon’s gaze lowered to her lips. Sana caught herself looking at Dowoon’s lips, too. They were slightly puckered, anticipating what could happen next. “Kiss me,” Sana hushed out. 

Dowoon made the final push and pressed his lips to hers. Dowoon tasted like honey, his lips were smooth against hers, it was the right amount of pressure. Sana tilted her head and felt Dowoon’s other hand come to rest on the small of her back, drawing her just a little bit closer. 

They broke apart before either of them could deepen the kiss. Sana placed her forehead on Dowoon’s chest, inhaling the cologne she might have fallen in love with last week. “Oppa, does this mean you actually like me?” She asked into his shirt. 

Sana lifted her shin with Dowoon’s fingers, “Sannie, I don’t kiss people I don’t like.” He sounded so confident as he leaned down and placed another soft kiss to Sana’s lips. “And you probably don’t let people kiss you if you don’t like them back,” Dowoon mumbled against her lips softly. He was right, but Sana wasn’t going to let him think he was right. 

“Oppa, Minho’s upstairs, you need sleep, and I should probably go home before your father comes back and sees us like this.” Sana tried to reason her way out of his grasp, she herself didn’t want to leave but they should probably talk about this before rushing into something. 

She did lean up on her tiptoes to place a peck on the corner of his mouth before ducking underneath his arm and grabbing her backpack. “Bye, oppa! See you on Monday.” She called out as she walked out of their front door, a huge smile plastered on her face the whole way home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have NO IDEA what possessed me to write Dowoon/Sana considering I have never seen them interact and don't ship them - well, until now. Let me know if this ship is okay because I was going to pair Dowoon with Wonpil. 
> 
> Anyway! I hope you liked it. I'm in the process of writing as much as I can for some Valentine's Day specials. <33 
> 
> 8 days until I see STRAY KIDS!!!!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chan might have the best boyfriend in the world (or at least Australia and South Korea).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first of many chapters that will be romance-related because Valentine's Day is coming up and today truly sucked.
> 
> Enjoy really cheesy, love-stricken Chanhwi <3

Chris sent a string of heart emojis in reply to Daehwi’s ‘I love you, hyungie. Good luck, baby’ before locking his phone and turning his attention to his class. The younger boy had just gotten up to start his day, it was only 6:45 in Korea, and he immediately texted Chris for good luck on his upcoming exam. Chris took one last gulp of his coffee, setting the cup and his phone in his backpack while grabbing out a couple of pencils and his scantron. 

\---- 

Chris got out of his test in just under an hour and had time to call Daehwi before his class began. “Hey, babe.” Chris smiled as soon as the callconnected. “How’s the walk to school today?” 

“It’s cold here. Even Hyunjinnie and Lix were bundled up in coats. I, uh, I have your coat on today.” Daehwi slowly got quieter as he spoke, Chris could barely hear the last sentence. He goaded Daehwi to get him to repeat himself. Then, he happily imagined his slim boyfriend in his larger coats and sweatshirts with a smile on his face. 

“Nothing, Channie. When are you coming back?” Chris heard the hope in Daehwi's voice. They had already talked about this, Chris wasn’t coming back until Children’s Day - four months away. He was going to miss Hyunjin and Jeongin’s birthdays, something his older brothers could come back for, but Chris wasn’t returning to Korea for his own birthday and convinced his parents to stay home for that weekend. 

Chris sighed before answering the younger and asking why he wanted to know. “Just seeing if you’re missing Lee Brunch on Valentine’s Day next weekend. My parents are making us kids ask our lovers to get a head count.” 

“Hwi-yah, don’t ever call me your lover again. It sounds super weird.” Chris said as he stood up from the bench he was seated at. “I’m missing every holiday. You already knows this, honey.” 

“I know, I know, just had to confirm so my parents are happy. Appa could care less. How was the exam, English Literature, right?” Daehwi fruitlessly tried to hide the disappointment in his voice but Chris heard it crystal clear. But the younger had switched the topic and Chris decided to play along. 

They talked for another half hour about how Daehwi offered to drive the younger boys to school instead of walking and met up with Hyunjin for coffee. He let it slip that Minho had something very special for Jisung and gushed about how Chan's baby was in for a real treat, even if Daehwi couldn’t tell Chris what Minho had planned he could already imagine Jisung calling him and screaming about what happened. 

They hung up so Daehwi could get to class on time and Chris had time to proofread his essay for Music History. Throughout the day he got texts from the family group chat, mainly from Felix about something cute Changbin did or selfies of Jae and Younghyun in their music studio. Daehwi sent reminders to eat and not drink so much caffeine, like Chris was actually going to listen. He sent back a picture of his third frappe in retaliation with a long line of emojis. 

\---- 

Chris and his roommate, Jacob, decided to stay in and have a Disney marathon. “Is Kevin coming over?” Chris asked as he pulled the second bag of popcorn out of the microwave. “Your boo-thang can’t be here, so I refuse to shove it in your face that my boyfriend followed me to college.” Jacob laughed as he plopped on the many pillows underneath Chris’ loft. 

“What a wonderful roommate I have,” Chris smiled and lowered himself next to Jacob, cuddling up under the blanket they shared. Jacob hit play and Bolt began playing on the laptop’s screen. 

When the two boys weren’t studying, they were binge watching everything streaming platforms had to offer. Four times a week, Chris dragged Jacob, Kevin, and Eric to the gym to work out. They would tease, mainly their provisional maknae Eric, calling out “You just want to get in the Big Tiddy Committee with Matt and Jay.” 

“Just cause you’re, one, in Australia, and two, a kid genius, doesn’t mean you can disrespect me.” Chris would shout before chasing Eric around the track in the recreation building. Jacob had come from a strict family in Canada, causing him to remind everyone that he was the oldest and it bled into how Chris enforced honorifics too. Even when they weren’t speaking Korean amongst themselves. 

\---- 

“Channie!” Chris heard someone shout his name from down the hallway and he twisted to see who it was. An upperclassman that Chris had done a production project with was walking towards him, once he was close enough Chris opened his arms for Jason to rush into. “How are you? What are you doing this weekend?” 

This weekend was Valentine’s weekend. He had gotten texts since Monday, it was now Thursday afternoon, about his friends’ and family’s plans for the holiday. He watched every time as the little blinking next to Daehwi’s name would light up to indicate he was typing and then abruptly stop. Each time Chris wanted to text or call the younger man and just talk for hours about nothing. He had an even stronger urge to buy a ticket back to Seoul and surprise his boyfriend with endless cuddles and kisses, but his parents would kill him. 

“Nothing really, do you have plans?” Chris asked, shaking the thoughts out of his head. He still had a class later in the afternoon and shouldn’t think about missing Daehwi. “No, my parents and I decided that I can come back on Independence Day, so I have another half month left in the sunshine.” Chris nodded in slight agreement. 

“Ah, I see. I’m going back after the school year ends.” He got a surprised reaction out of Jason. “Man, that’s so far away.” Jason elongated the ‘o’ vowel when he spoke, causing Chris to laugh with the elder. 

“Well, let’s hang out this weekend. I’ve missed my little prodigy partner,” Jason suggested and the two students set up a time to meet, promising to text each other more often. Chris watched Jason walk out of the music building and he turned to fight his way through the halls to his last class. 

\---- 

Chris woke up to Jacob’s alarm going off on Friday morning. Friday was the one day that Chris and Jacob had no classes, so when he looked at his phone to see that it was only 6 in the morning it definitely made him question Jacob’s schedule. “Jae, what are you doing?” Chris asked as he propped himself up on his elbows when he heard Jacob looking through clothes in their closet. 

“Getting ready. Kev’s skipping his major specific classes to take me out. He said we were heading to the zoo, botanical garden, and the beach. So I have to pack clothes and be ready for anything. This is Kevin we’re talking about.” Jacob set down the clothes he had picked from the closet and walked over to Chris’ bed. 

He ran a hand through Chris’ hair before playfully shoving him back onto the mattress. “Go back to bed, Channie. I’ll be out probably all day. Rest and relax today, sweetheart.” Chris pushed the older’s hand away before he could lean into it. He pressed his head in his pillow and mumbled out an ‘okay’. 

Chris’ own alarm went off at a normal time, 9am, and he convinced himself to get out of bed when he got a text. 

‘Guess where I am?!’ read the text from Daehwi. A followup text came in the next moment. It was a picture of a mouth formed in a kiss with a tiny, barely visible Sydney Opera House in the background. There was no snow on the ground, indicating that he was no longer in Korea, his father had been complaining about shoveling their driveway yesterday to get to work. 

Chris immediately called his boyfriend. “Where are you?” Chris asked as soon as Daehwi picked up. “Good morning to you too, Channie-hyung. How did you sleep?” 

Chris wasn’t going to let him drop the subject. “Hwi, are you in Sydney right now? Don’t mess with me.” Chris warned as he hopped off his loft bed. 

“Yes, I’m in Sydney. I told this nice taxi driver to drop me off in front of your dorm, if that’s okay with you, beloved.” Chris could tell Daehwi was still smiling as he spoke. 

“You can come to my dorm. Of course you can. Oh my gosh, I have to get ready. I’ll see you when you get here. Text me and I’ll buzz you in.” Chris didn’t wait for Daehwi’s response as hung up and he gathered all his shower things, bolting into the bathroom. 

As Chris was drying his hair, his phone buzzed in his pocket. He pulled it out and glanced at the notification, Daehwi was downstairs. Chris hurried down the stairs to open the door for his boyfriend. He hugged the slightly taller man tightly when he walked into the building. “I missed you so much, Dae.” Chris mumbled into a shoulder. 

“I did, too.” Daehwi whispered back, pressing dry kisses to Chris’ shell of his ear. It tickled the Australian and he squirmed away. “I thought you missed me,” Daehwi pouted as his arms tightened around Chris’ waist. 

Chris grasped at his hand and pulled him upstairs into his dorm room. “It looks different from the pictures and video calls,” Daehwi said as he settled into the multiple pillows and fluffy blankets under Chris’ bed. Chris sat next to him, pulling him into his embrace as they talked. 

They discussed what they wanted to do together before Daehwi struggled to keep his eyes open. “Jet lag catching up, honey?” Chris was not helping Daehwi staying awake, the older was playing with the soft strands of reddish brown hair. Daehwi nodded against Chris’ chest, shifting to press more of his body against the Australian. 

Chris continued to thread through Daehwi’s hair as their conversation dwindled to nothing. Chris picked up his phone and took a picture of them, sending it to the Fam21 group chat. He muted it, too many responses came through at once and Chris didn’t want the notifications to wake up Daehwi. Chris played on his phone, scrolling through social media and letting the smaller man sleep against him. 

That was one of the things Chris hated about travelling from school to home, the almost 11 hour flight. It didn’t matter if he worked on songs, watched a movie, or took a really long nap. He’d still end up exhausted an jet lagged. The Wang-Tuan family tried to coordinate when the three older brothers would return home so they could all be jet lagged together and sleep all day. Chris always felt bad for Felix, the youngest sibling had to occupy himself on lazy days because his brothers refused to get out of bed. 

Chris got through four new group comebacks before Daehwi began stirring. Chris wasn’t really paying attention, clicking on his favourite reaction channel and listening intently to their opinions on the new music video and song. It wasn’t until Chris felt a hand move up and down his upper leg that he looked down at Daehwi, smiling innocently like he wasn’t doing anything remotely sexual to Chris’s leg. 

“Good morning,” the red-head yawned out, placing his head on Chris’ shoulder and tilting it so he could see the Australian. “Good afternoon.” Chris replied, setting his phone on the floor. “Have a nice nap, babe?” 

“I always sleep better with you than by myself.” Chris nodded, sometimes his insomnia got so bad - his caffeine intake didn’t help - that he called Daehwi and just listen to the younger man sing or talk about his day or play the songs he was creating. He would curl more into his body pillow that was drenched in Daehwi’s cologne and cuddle it until he finally fell asleep. In the morning, his phone would still be on the call, Daehwi never hung up on Chris, and he’d keep it on until his boyfriend woke up two or three hours later if he had nothing to do. 

“So, we’re both dressed and ready to go. We can go get lunch and then I can take you to the cool places in the city. How does that sound?” Chris smiled and pushed Daehwi to a seated position when he replied ‘perfect, hyungie.’ 

\---- 

Daehwi held his stomach with one hand and Chris’ waist with the other. They had just finished their dinner, bar-be-que, and Chris insisted on feeding Daehwi every last piece of meat on the grounds of he looked too skinny. Chris was leading the way to the pier in Sydney, settling for a nice walk down the beach afterwards to watch the setting sun. He looked over to Daehwi, the younger man was in a light long-sleeve shirt to protect his skin even though it was 80 degrees. He startled Daehwi when he laughed, finally noticing the difference in their skin tones. 

“I told you I was driving the kids to school ‘cause it’s too cold to walk now!” Daehwi said, exasperated. “I’m still chilly, even with the sun shining on us.” Chris moved Daehwi’s hand from around his waist so he could hold the older. They got to the dock and watched as birds flew past them and the waves hit the posts beneath them. 

“This is prettier than Jeju and Disneyland,” Daehwi whispered out. It was such a quiet admittance that Chris would not have heard it if he wasn’t right up against him. The Australian pressed a kiss to Daehwi’s hair and settled his chin on the taller’s shoulder. “You’re prettier than anything I’ve seen, love.” He got a light slap to his stomach but felt the heat radiate from Daehwi’s cheeks, Chris smiled. 

\---- 

“So, this was a surprise,” Daehwi started. Chris remained relatively quiet and only emitted a small hum, waiting for the red-head to continue. “But I have another surprise for you. I think it’s better than what any of your boys have planned for each other.” Daehwi shifted in the sand, his bare feet still damp from playfully running in the water earlier. Daehwi gently grabbed Chris’ hands, his fingers grazing over the jewelry adorning Chris’ hands. His gaze dropped to the ring on Chris’ fourth finger, it already held the ring he gave him four years ago for their first anniversary. 

His fingers deftly plucked the ring from the younger’s finger, he looked up to see the shocked expression on Chris’ face. “What are you doing, Hwi?” He shushed Chris as he got on one knee, “Channie, I love you, but please let me speak otherwise I will never get through this.” 

Chris nodded, tears already collecting in his eyes. “Wang-Tuan Chan, Chris, I love you with my whole heart and I know I want to spend the rest of my life with you. It doesn’t matter where we live or what happens in the future as long as it’s with you. We’ve been best friends since I entered that fancy, expensive music school and our relationship has only grown from there. You've always portrayed this type of character; the oldest of the younger group of kids acting as the parents to seven other boys. But you allow yourself to be a different person with me - you turn quiet and contemplative. You give such good advice and we have the deepest conversations every weekend I was allowed to stay over. You deciding to go to university in Australia was hard for both of us, but it’s what you want and I will always put your happiness above others’. 

“We’ve been together for five years, it’s been the best time of my life because even when I was low I had you to pick me back up again and kiss the problems away. You’re my rock, Channie. You’ve always been there for me and fully supported me when I needed you, even when I just wanted you. I will never be able to repay you, but I will try for the rest of my life if you let me.” 

Daehwi watched the silent tears roll down Chris’ cheeks and onto his shirt. He waited for what felt like a lifetime before Chris spoke. “SarangdoongHwi, don’t you have something to ask me?” He gave the older a shaky smile, Daehwi returned it with his own stable one. 

“I didn’t think I’d have to ask, Chan. Will you marry me?” Daehwi was face-to-face with Chris, the older man having dropped to his knees as well. Chris leaned forward, his eyes drooped and half closed. Daehwi met him halfway, placing his hands on the shorter’s hips and drawing him closer. The press of lips felt like their first kiss all over again, hesitant but full of love. It slowly deepened into something with more passion and urgency as Chris tilted his head and brought his hands to Daehwi’s face. 

There were shouting in the distance that were coming closer, whoops of joy that sounded vaguely like Chris’ friends. He pulled back, shock on his face as he opened his eyes to their little group of Korean-something students. Everyone was holding sprinklers, Kevin was videoing everything on his phone and Jacob had a cake secure in his hands. “Congratulations!” They all shouted as Daehwi pulled Chris back up to his feet, wrapping his arm around the older's waist comfortably. 

Chris smiled as Kevin got a little too close with his phone, he pushed the Canadian away and dove into Daehwi’s chest. His boyfriend - _his fiance_ \- put both arms around him in a hug, warm and right, letting him hide his embarrassment in the taller’s shirt. “I can’t believe you set this up. How did you even do this?” Chris mumbled into his boyf- fiance’s chest. 

“A little help from your parents, thank god I retained English from middle school or this would have gone way differently.” Daehwi replied into Chris’ hair, pressing small kisses and inhaling the man’s scent. 

“I love you, Hwi-yah.” 

“I love you too, but you never answered my question,” Daehwi pulled away slightly to look at Chris. His mouth morphed into an ‘o’ and his eyes widened before he composed himself. 

“I’ll marry you Daehwi, but it has to be a fall wedding.” Daehwi slipped a new ring onto Chris' fourth finger on his left hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FYI: Daehwi is from Wanna One and AB6IX. Cute and tiny with a wicked sense of humour. 
> 
> Jacob, Kevin, and Eric are members of The Boyz, they are wonderful and memes, you should check them out. 
> 
> Jason is Byeongkwan from A.C.E. He's super cute but a great, savage rapper. 
> 
> Matt (B.M. from KARD) and Jay (Jay Park) are two members of the big tiddy committee, one day I hope to see SKZ inducted (Chan and Changbin with those big biceps ;) )


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hyunjin and Seungmin will always be there for each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe this is the first chapter about Hyunjin or Seungmin. I was reaffirmed that all of Stray Kids are in my bias wrecker list during that concert. Be ready for a Jeongin chapter in about 20 minutes.

It was no secret that Hyunjin and Seungmin were polar opposites of each other. Seungmin was all soft, blurred lines, interested in spending all his free time in the library; Hyunjin had sharp edges even in places that should be curves, a consequence from spending way too many hours in the dance studio. But the two complimented each other nicely, Seungmin calmed Hyunjin when he would get rowdy at inappropriate moments while Hyunjin cared more about Seungmins health than his own, making sure the slightly younger boy ate, slept, and functioned at a proper human being most days. 

No one in their little group was shocked when the two boys applied to the same colleges, receiving acceptance letters in weeks, and decided to dorm together. It had caused a huge fight in the Park family, the triplets had made a pack when they were 10 to always live together and Seungmin had abandoned their younger, naive dream. Seungmin had run to the Kim’s house after a particularly nasty tantrum from Jeongin, he had pushed the oldest triplet into the stairs and yelled at him for a half hour about how he was being selfish. 

Hyunjin opened his arms to the sobbing boy, gently leading him to the older’s bedroom. “Minnie, can you stop crying for a moment and tell me what’s wrong? You have to tell me so I can fix it.” Hyunjin was kneeling in front of his bed, just next to Seungmin who was sitting on the bed. He shook his head solemnly as his sobbing increased in volume. Hyunjin placed a calloused hand on the distraught boy’s thigh, promising he’d fix whatever was making Seungmin react this way. 

After Seungmin had calmed down, the two cuddled on Hyunjin’s bed in comfortable silence. There was a soft playlist playing from Hyunjin’s phone sitting on his bedside table. Hyunjin softly stroked a hand up and down Seungmin’s back until the younger flinched into Hyunjin’s body. “Minnie?” Hyunjin prompted, letting the boy next to him explain why he reacted to such a soft touch. 

“I fell onto the stairs earlier. My back really hurts, Jinnie.” Hyunjin asked the boy to lie on his stomach and trust him. He lifted Seungmin’s shirt to reveal long stripes of red stretching across the boy’s entire back. “Oh, Minnie. When did you fall?” Hyunjin asked as he lowered Seungmin’s shirt. He heard him mumble into the pillow, catching that it happened just before Seungmin came over. “Can we go back to cuddling? Just avoid my back.” 

Hyunjin did just that, moving Seungmin to lay on his chest, completely avoiding pressure on the younger’s back. One of Hyunjin’s hands settled itself on the nape of Seungmin’s neck. He watched as Seungmin’s eyes drifted shut and his breathing slowed. 

Hyunjin walked into the campus’s main library in search of his boyfriend. It was Friday and all of his classes were over for the day. He knew that Seungmin didn’t have any classes today and would spend as much time as he could studying for an exam three weeks away. Hyunjin saw tufts of fluffy red hair way in the back next to the small coffee shop. He made his way, internally hoping the redhead was his boyfriend. 

“Ugh, you found me.” Seungmin sighed as he immediately began to pack up his notebooks. He had three disposable cups sprawled out on the table, all of his notebooks were colour coded and organised by the time of the day. 

Hyunjin helped Seungmin by throwing away his coffee cups, slightly disappointed that Seungmin had consumed more caffeine today than Hyunjin has in the past week. He was going to be awake until midnight and it was only three in the afternoon. “How was studying, Min?” 

They talked as they walked out of the library and back to their dorms, “Do you mind if we go out tonight, Minnie?” The younger shook his head, bumping his shoulder into Hyunjin’s as they crossed the road. “What do you have in mind?” Seungmin prompted, trying to see what he had to wear or plan for this spur of the moment date. 

“Nothing too special, but we’re gonna just pick up some food. Really casual, but dress warm when we get back home.” Hyunjin swiped them into their courtyard, holding the gate open for Seungmin like the gentleman he was. They got into their building and split off. Hyunjin needed a shower after his dance practice but Seungmin had already taken one before heading to the library before Hyunjin even woke up. 

Seungmin stood in front of his closet, failing miserably in picking out a cute outfit that he hasn’t already worn on a date. Hyunjin had said it was more casual, so Seungmin started with a pair of light wash jeans and his impeccable white Converse. He sifted through his many sweaters and hoodies before settling on a soft, wool maroon turtleneck. He hoped the maroon wouldn’t clash with his bright red hair as he pulled the turtleneck over his head and fixed his hair style. 

He sat underneath his loft bed and played on his phone, scrolling through social media platforms and listening to music while he waited for Hyunjin to come out of the bathroom. He heard the hair dryer start up and prayed Hyunjin would part his hair the way Seungmin loved. Seungmin got wrapped up in a Youtube upload from one of his favourite idols, he didn’t notice Hyunjin step out of the bathroom ready to go. 

He heard Hyunjin clear his throat to gain Seungmin’s attention and the younger boy’s jaw dropped. The dancer was dressed in skinny, ripped black jeans that clung to his muscle in all the right places. He fixed the collar of his solid black turtleneck underneath his leather jacket and flashed a smile at Seungmin. 

“Ready when you are, babe.” He said as he grabbed his car keys. Seungmin clicked off the video as he scrambled to his feet, hitting his head on the edge of his bed as he stood up. “Ow!” he yelped out and watched Hyunjin rush towards him. 

There was a gentle hand softly massaging the area he hit, “thanks, Jinnie.” Hyunjin just pressed a kiss to his forehead and took his hand to pull him out from under the bed. He grabbed his black scarf and Seungmin’s beret, carefully placing it on his head before they walked out the door. 

The short walk to the car was filled with laughter as Hyunjin recalled the shenanigans that occurred in dance class. Seungmin was in tears by the time he plopped into the passenger’s seat. “Off to eat, any requests?” Seungmin huffed, Hyunjin knew he was the more indecisive of them and shouldn’t be asked for opinions on food. 

“Didn’t think so. We’re getting the greasiest thing we can get, then.” Hyunjin declared as he pulled out of his parking spot. Seungmin took control of the music and let Hyunjin order food for both of them. He had decided on fast-food chicken, selecting meals that the two of them could share. 

“We’re here,” Hyunjin put the car in park and turned off the engine in the middle of a large field. He grabbed their food and a blanket from the backseat before leaving the car. Seungmin gave the older a confused look before exiting to sit on the blanket Hyunjin had laid out. 

“Does your head still hurt? Hyunjin asked halfway through eating. “Ah, no. I’m fine. Just trying to figure out what you have planned, Jinnie.” A coy smile took shape on Hyunjin’s face, his eyes shone bright in the fading sunlight. 

Hyunjin was more focussed on Seungmin than the sunset, he noticed how the smaller boy slightly shivered as the temperature dropped with the sun. “Be right back,” Hyunjin said as he moved towards the car to get more blankets he had tucked away in the trunk. He draped two long, soft blankets across Seungmin’s lap and settled behind him. 

Seungmin immediately relaxed into Hyunjin’s arms and felt more blankets swaddle him. “Much better,” Hyunjin whispered into the redhead’s ear, causing him to shiver for a different reason. “You know how much I love you, right?” Hyunjin asked out of the blue. 

“How can I forget when you bring me on the best dates ever, Jinnie?” Seungmin pressed his back into Hyunjin’s solid chest even more and nestled his head on Hyunjin’s shoulder. He felt something grope around until Hyunjin’s hand found his. “I love you too, Hyunjin. I know I don’t make it as obvious as you, but I do.” 

Seungmin felt Hyunjin’s arm wrap around his waist, even tighter than the relatively loose hold. “You don’t have to say or do anything to make me remember you love me.” Hyunjin pressed his cold nose into Seungmin’s neck, soft kisses following. “But it is nice to hear you say it sometimes.” Hyunjin mumbled against his skin. 

“I love you, Jinnie. Thank you for the wonderful date.” 

“Anything for my Valentine, Seungminnie.” 

Hyunjin felt Seungmin tense in his grasp. “Oh, my god! Minnie you forgot what day it was!” Seungmin twisted to face the dancer. He engulfed Hyunjin’s face, stealing his breath. The older teen barely had time to register and react to Seungmin’s love attack before the redhead withdrew. “I don’t need some made up holiday to love you, prince. ‘Specially if it’s something Uncle Mark and Jackson started.” 

The two fell onto the hard ground as they laughed their hearts out. As the last rays of sunlight dipped behind the horizon. Seungmin pulled his boyfriend closer to him for warmth and they cuddled for an hour until Seungmin couldn’t stop shivering. Hyunjin led the younger back to the car and promised to resume the cuddle session when they got back to the dorm.


	11. Chapter 11

Jeongin sat at the front of the classroom, he was very early for his first college course. It started at 8 am, but Jeongin was wide awake two hours before he needed to leave, he was a bundle of nervousness and excitement. There was no one in the room besides him for five minutes until another person walked through the door. Upon noticing Jeongin, the younger boy gave him a big boxy smile. Jeongin returned it, it was smaller than the other’s, Jeongin was still self conscious about his braces. “Can I sit next to you?” 

He looked up at the boy, ‘when had he walked over here?’ Jeongin thought to himself. 

“Of course you can. There’s no pre-arranged seating.” Jeongin said with a bigger smile, trying to not look like a creep. No one ever asked if they could sit next to Jeongin, he was the nerdy kid with big glasses and ‘invisible’ braces that people could still see. His other peers usually did all they could to avoid him in the halls and during group projects. To have this boy with dark hair and large lips ask him if he could sit next to him was a first. 

“I’m Bang Yedam.” The boy held out his hand as he sat down, Jeongin took it and shook firmly. “I’m Park Jeongin.” 

Jeongin thought it would end there, but Yedam continued to talk to him. He asked all sorts of questions, like what his major was and why he was here so early. Jeongin joked as they talked more that Yedam would turn out to be his best friend if he kept saying all the right things. They exchanged numbers, Yedam had put hearts around his name when he typed it into Jeongin’s phone. 

The semester went smoothly, Jeongin and Yedam had all but one class together and soon became attached at the hip. The younger boy met Jeongin’s parents about a month after school had begun and they instantly took a liking to him. 

“Yedam, you do know you’re one of Jeongin’s first friends that isn’t like family, right?” Jeongin watched from across the table as Yedam’s neck and ears turned red, the awkward boxy smile showing off his gums as he laughed out a response. The triplet went to scold his papa for such an offhand comment, his own ears felt a little hot as he spoke. 

After Yedam had gone home, Seungmin pounced on him. “You like him, don’t you?” He sounded like he was accusing Jeongin of grand larceny, “no, I don’t. He’s a friend.” Jeongin retorted, a little too aggressively. He pushed past his older brother to get to his room, missing the smirk Jinyoung threw Jaebeom’s way as they washed the dishes. 

“Papa, Yedam has been over every weekend for the past month. Why can’t Minho-hyung come over? Just for one night.” Jisung was pleading with his father, both of their parents were on their way to a concert to support Youngjae and offered to their boys that a friend could come over. “Min-ah is not a friend, Sungie.” Jinyoung reminded Jisung as he ruffled the boy’s hair and walked out the front door. 

Jisung whined, clinging onto Seungmin’s arm hoping the oldest of the three would commiserate with him. Seungmin shook him off, “Quit it, I have to go to Hyunjinnie’s. Go bother, Innie.” Jisung’s complaining increased tenfold, he was stuck alone with the two giggling boys all night long. 

He walked to his room and slammed the door. He got a text from Jeongin a moment later reading ‘stop being a drama queen. go hang with bin-hyung or something’. Jisung wanted to strangle his brother but decided to call Changbin to see if he wanted to get together.

“Innie-hyung, what movie do we watch next?” Yedam asked into Jeongin’s sweatshirt. They were having their monthly movie marathon at Jeongin’s house, Jeongin’s parents had just set a pizza and various snacks in front of the two boys. “We have a superhero movie or a rom-com. Your pick, Yedammie.” 

Jeongin heard retching from behind him, most likely coming from one of his brothers. They had taken up teasing Jeongin for his PDA towards Yedam, Jeongin always assuring them that it was platonic and the younger student would never have feelings for him. Yedam laughed, also hearing his sibling make fun of them, but it didn’t seem to stop Yedam from rearranging the blanket he and Jeongin were sharing.

Jeongin felt the younger boy shiver in his arms, he instantly tightened his grip to pull him closer and share his body heat. “I want the rom-com first, hyung. I don’t know if I can stay away for two movies.” Jeongin nodded his head against Yedam’s, hand emerging from under the large blanket to pick up the remote and select the movie. 

The two love interests had just gotten together when Jeongin heard a small snore under his chin. He slowly moved his head to look at Yedam, his eyes were closed, slightly fluttering in his sleep. His plush lips were parted just enough for his warm breath to escape and warm a small part of Jeongin’s chest. His cheeks were tinted the barest of pink, Jeongin hoped it was just because the younger was finally warmed up. 

Yedam said he wasn’t going to get through a second movie, but the poor boy couldn’t even make it past half of the first movie. Jeongin wondered how much Yedam was studying, he always told the triplet that he got enough sleep and ate proper meals but he couldn’t help but worry. He had talked to Chan and Minho, the hyungs that were least likely to judge him, about how much he liked Yedam. Like like. 

The two older men fussed over one of their maknaes having his first real crush, before giving him sound advice. ‘You just have to ask him out, it sounds like he likes you back anyways, Innie.’ Minho assured the younger, even suggesting cute date ideas for them to do. Jeongin just hadn’t worked up enough courage to actually ask him. 

After the third movie, Jeongin had caught up on films he had wanted to see for forever, he gently shook Yedam awake. When he was finally awake and mostly coherent Jeongin asked him if he was okay to drive home and if he wanted, he was welcome to sleep over. Yedam took the second option, picking up the blanket that had been wrapped around them and walking to Jeongin’s bedroom like it was his own. 

“Yedammie, you have to tell me what your pick is!” Jeongin whisper-shouted as he ran after the slightly taller boy. They made it to Jeongin’s bedroom in relative silence, the rest of the Park family was asleep and they didn’t want to wake them. Jeongin watched with a gaped mouth as Yedam shed his jeans, the long lavender sweater and pitch black boxers the only thing left on the boy’s body. He pulled the covers back on Jeongin’s bed and took up the right side of the bed, pressing himself comfortably against the wall. 

“Come to bed, hyung.” Yedam’s voice was deep and velvety, his head was pushed into one of Jeongin’s pillows and his eyes were already slipping shut again. When he didn’t sense any movement, Yedam tried to open his eyes, “hyungie” the younger whined, shifting his body to make grabby hands at Jeongin. The triplet was pulled from his stupor, changing into actual pajamas before climbing into the unoccupied space next to Yedam. 

Jeongin was completely and instantly cuddled by the younger. He felt Yedam’s leg push up and over so it rested in between his own, a cold foot tucking itself into Jeongin’s leg pit behind his knee. He hisses from the sensation but felt Yedam’s equally cold nose nuzzle into his neck. “Keep me warm, hyungie.” Yedam demanded petulantly. 

The sleepovers turned into weekly things, sometimes even happening on a weekday. Yedam offered to have Jeongin come over to his house, he claimed it wasn’t as noisy and crowded, after Jeongin complained about his siblings’ teasing. “Even Bob’s joined in!” Jeongin greeted Yedam in class one morning and Yedam decided they would hang out in quiet peace in his home. 

What Jeongin didn’t know was that Yedam’s parents were always away on business trips and he had no siblings. The first time he had entered the house, an eerie silence lingered. Yedam said he always had music on to help the house sound more alive. Jeongin frowns as they walked down the stairs to Yedam’s room, “I can come over anytime to keep you company, Yedamie.” He saw the younger smile, a blush creeping onto his neck. 

Yedam’s bedroom was the whole basement, half of it was carpeting and set up like a living room and the other half was hardwood where his bed was. “Perks of being an only child, I guess. My parents leave me to my own devices most of the times they are home. They thought giving me a whole bunch of instruments and gaming consoles would occupy me while they worked upstairs in their office.” Jeongin nodded along. 

He had never felt that kind of loneliness, Yedam didn’t have to give it a name because Jeongin knew the boy sitting on the couch in front of him like the back of his hand now. Jeongin took his place beside the younger brunette and draped his arm around Yedam’s shoulders. He felt him nuzzle impossibly close to his chest and wrapped his other arm around Yedam’s back. 

“You have me now, Yedamie. Hyung’ll take care of you whenever you need it.” Yedam shifted to sit in Jeongin’s lap. “Innie, I don’t know if I’ve been reading this wrong but I think you can be there for me in other ways than hyung.” 

Jeongin raised a brow in confusion, waiting for Yedam to explain. He didn’t, the younger boy simply reached his head to gently place a peck on Jeongin’s lips. He quickly retreated beck to nestling into Jeongin’s chest as if that didn’t just happen. 

“I’m glad we’re on the same page, but could you warn a guy when you’re about to kiss him?” Jeongin said after the initial shock faded. He heard Yedam sigh in relief. “Does that mean I can drop the ‘hyung’?”

“I suppose, you have to give me a proper kiss first.” Jeongin watched Yedam lift his head again, this time it was slow and a bit of hesitation lingered in his eyes. But the lips placed Jeongin’s for the second time of the day were anything but. Yedam kissed like the world was burning, like Jeongin was the last breath of air he would take - Jeongin loved it. It turned into a slower, more passionate exchange as Yedam’s courage faded, letting Jeongin control the next part of the kiss. 

“I really like you, Jeonginnie. Will you be my boyfriend?” Yedam asked against Jeongin’s neck when they broke for air, his lips grazing the sensitive skin. Jeongin wanted to tease the younger man but couldn’t resist the feeling of warm puffs of breath, the feather kisses, the teeth nibbling at his neck. “Yes. Please, let me be your boyfriend Yedamie.” 

Sungjin got into the passenger seat of Jeongin’s car, stuffing his bag underneath his feet. “Hey, Innie-ah.” He greeted, a hug would have to wait as Jeongin put the car into drive. “Oh my god, Park Jeongin! Is that a hickey? Who gave you a hickey? Do papa and appa know?!” Sungjin’s voice raised in pitch with each question, when Jeongin glanced at his older brother he was met with wide eyes and a gaped mouth. 

“Have a nice flight home, hyung?” Jeongin tried to change the subject. The questioning continued until they pulled into the driveway of their home. “Hyung, you will not say a word to the others. I’m just dropping you off and then heading back to Yedam’s to study. Not a word, Sungjin.” Jeongin waited for Sungjin nodded and exited the car before putting it in drive once again to drive away, leaving his brother’s shocked expression in his rearview mirror.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is written as part nine in my docs but it somehow turned into part twelve... I prioritise too many other ships. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy this chapter! <333

Felix absolutely hated decorating for the holidays. Valentine’s Day took the cake, even though celebrating the Fourth of July in Korea was a close second in his (Australian) opinion. His Chinese father didn’t have any particular holiday in February this year but his other parent insisted they always celebrate Valentine’s Day. Every year the house became decorated in vibrant and pastel shades of pinks and reds, frankly it messed with Felix’s sensory overload problems but he didn’t want to tell anyone that it bothered him in fear of ruining the special day for his parents. 

The youngest in the family just didn’t understand why it was like this for a whole month if the holiday happened on the fourteenth. He also didn’t understand why he had to help decorate if he didn’t even enjoy the gaudy trinkets that were placed all over the house. Chris was the one to usually help their dads, but he decided to go back to Australia for college and desert Felix just like Youn- Brian, he didn’t deserve to be called by his Korean name if he decided to stay in America for longer than promised, and Jae had. 

Minho had warned him about ‘empty-nesting,’ a phenomenon that happened to parents when one or more of their children left the metaphorical nest. Felix had only felt the effects when Chris left the country, he came back frequently for Daehwi and his family, birthdays and holidays were demanded of him, but that didn’t stop Mark and Jackson from becoming overbearing helicopter parents towards Felix. Most days he felt like his parents were guilt tripping him into attending college in Korea. 

But back to the decorating and Valentine’s Day. 

Felix always tied his father’s favourite holiday to going out with your loved one. But for the past three years, the youngest has always been ignored by the person he most wanted to spend the day with. The last year they were in high school together, Felix’s freshman year, the Australian put flowers, chocolates, and a cute card in the boy’s locker. Only to watch him throw away the note and flowers and hand the chocolate over to his friend. But even that cold rejection never made its way to Felix’s heart. 

(What Felix didn’t know was that the boy didn’t want to accept any gifts from other people. He only wanted Felix’s presents, he explained to his friends as he handed the chocolate to him.)

That’s why when he got a text in the middle of decorating with his father he collapsed to the floor and screamed in delight. Mark was immediately hovering over him asking him what was wrong, Felix barely spoke let alone screamed. Felix only shoved the phone in Mark’s face with giggles erupting from his broad smile. 

Binnie-hyung <3333:

‘Hey are you busy on Saturday? I was thinking of dinner and a movie. Not in that order, if you prefer but something. ‘

Mark’s face morphed into something similar to Felix’s face as Jackson made his way into the living room with the two other family members. “Is everyone okay in here? I heard Lix screaming.” 

Jackson let out a huff when he assessed the situation and saw the two beams of perfect white smiles in his direction. “Jeez, you’d think Changbin-ah finally confessed or something,” Jackson muttered before walking back to his studio. That had Felix and Mark in another round of laughter. 

“Well, answer him, sweetheart.” Mark playfully admonished as he placed Felix’s phone back in his son’s waiting hands. 

Changbin was early. By twenty minutes. Felix was not in any shape to walk out of the door or even down the stairs to greet the older. 

Felix stood in front of the bathroom mirror with his toothbrush stuck in his mouth, staring at his phone. Changbin had just texted him that he was here and was walking up the sidewalk. He heard the doorbell ring as he resumed his brushing. “Bin’s here, Felix-ah,” Mark yelled up to him. 

He quickly finished brushing his teeth and styled his hair before applying a light coat of foundation. He looked at himself in the mirror. ‘Oh my gosh, Lix. How do you still look like a turd? Binnie-hyung is going to see you and walk right out the door.’ 

Felix sighed before straightening his shirt and walking out of the bathroom. He slipped on his shoes before shuffling down the stairs. He saw the light brown hair sitting at one of the kitchen stools. His heart fluttered and his hands flew to his own orange-ish hair to nervously play with it. Felix didn’t want to startle Changbin and his parents when he stepped into the kitchen, he decided clearing his throat before entering was a good enough warning. 

As soon as he crossed the threshold into the dining room, he could feel Changbin’s eyes on him. He looked to the older boy to see him looking him up and down, slowly taking in his choice of clothing and face. Felix caught himself doing the same to his hyung. Changbin was wearing his normal black skinny jeans, if Felix looked closely he could see tiny frays in the fabric from Changbin playing with the rips. He had a stark white shirt underneath a beige jacket, the usual small chain settled just below his neck and Felix could see the glints of jewelry on his wrist and fingers. 

Felix thought he looked even worse than he originally thought. He had put light wash jeans on, they were one of his tighter pairs that Jisung always said complimented his dancer thighs, and a soft pink turtleneck sweater that hid his own necklace. He only had one earring in and a single ring, the brother ring he never took off. And of course, he had done his makeup but Changbin didn’t look like he had an ounce of foundation on his skin and still managed to glow. 

“Well, have fun boys!” Mark excitedly said as he stood and left the room. Changbin slowly rose from his seat, outstretching his hand to Felix and waiting for him to grab it. 

Felix allowed his hand to be engulfed in Changbin’s larger one, the older boy pulling ever so gently to lead Felix out the front door. “Do you have any opinions on where we go first? Or what movie we watch?” Changbin let go of Felix’s hand to briefly sign as they walked to his car. 

“I already told you, it doesn’t matter to me, hyung.” Felix said as Changbin opened the car door for him. Felix flashed him a smile, finally meeting his eyes properly. Felix watched as the older boy fiddled with the heat settings of his car before handing the AUX cord to Felix with a soft command of “Music.”

Felix had a folder of songs that Jae and Younghyun had sent to him and Chris throughout their college days, the Australian carefully picked slow, but still upbeat, songs to begin filtering from Changbin’s speakers. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Changbin nod his head to the beat, they pulled out of Felix’s driveway and started the twenty minute drive to the other side of town for the movie theatre. 

As the two boys walked to the ticket booth, hand in hand again, Changbin stopped abruptly. 

“What’s wrong, hyung?” Felix asked, bending his knees slightly to look at Changbin’s face. He let go of Changbin’s hands to allow the older to respond.

“How are we going to ask for tickets? I don’t speak correctly and you-” Changbin was cut off by Felix reassuring Changbin that he can ask for the tickets and pay. He laughed a little as he took Changbin’s hand, playing with the ring on his pointer finger. They got to the booth and when Changbin said which movie he wanted to see Felix paled. Changbin had just suggested they see a horror movie. Felix was always vehemently against horror movies but looking at the other movies playing he had no choice. There was a romantic comedy and a kids’ musical playing at similar times and neither interested him, Felix turned back to the lady behind the counter and stuttered through the transaction. 

Changbin made for the theatre their movie was playing before Felix stopped him and asked for snacks. All he wanted was a small popcorn to share with the older and he gave into Felix’s puppy eyes. “You’re gonna kill me one day,” Changbin signed as he gave his card to the employee. Felix just grinned back at him. 

Felix was no longer holding Changbin’s hand, he was clinging to the older’s arm. When they had entered the theatre and found their seats, Changbin had lifted the small arm rest so they could sit even closer. It was advantageous for Felix, the poor boy was terrified and couldn’t even try to hide it from Changbin. 

Every jump scare and death had Felix whimpering into his turtleneck that partially covered his eyes. Halfway through the movie, Changbin shifted so that the arm Felix was clinging to was over the younger’s shoulders. He offered the other arm to Felix as he tucked him into his chest. Now all Felix had to focus on was the terrible sounds coming from the movie and the warmth radiating from Changbin. He moved his head and heard the fast beating of Changbin’s heart, quickly adjusting his head again to stuff his nose into the crook of Changbin’s neck. 

The movie ended faster in that position, the lights weren’t as dim when Felix raised his head from Changbin’s neck. The elder started apologising profusely as they got into Changbin’s car, “I forgot you hate horror! I’m so sorry, love.” Felix blushed and shrugged it off, even if he was going to have nightmares he wasn’t going to tell Changbin that. Changbin must have noticed he called Felix ‘love’ instead of ‘Lix’ and blushed, too. “Damn, Broca’s area, I’m sorry if that made you uncomfortable. I’ll stick to signing.” 

“Binnie-hyung, I find it adorable when you switch words. It’s not like you called me a bad name. I like it when you call me pet names. I,” Felix really should stop himself, he had no idea if this was considered a date and he was never good with social cues because of his autism but it was Valentine’s Day and he had some courage in him and if he didn’t say it now, he never would. 

“Binnie-hyung, I like you. Kind of a lot.” Felix stared at his shoes and waited for Changbin’s response. He knew he should really be watching the boy’s hands, but Changbin would get his attention if he needed it. 

Felix felt a light pressure on his chin, moving his head towards Changbin’s direction and was met with Changbin’s nose touching his own. The elder’s eyes were closed and he continued to lean forward until his lips were on Felix’s. Felix immediately kissed back and closed his eyes. He felt Changbin let out a sigh of relief as he pressed just a tiny bit closer to the taller boy. 

Felix opened his eyes as Changbin pulled away, “I love you, Felix.” 

“Binnie, you mixed up your words again.” Felix laughed out, still centimeters from Changbin’s face. 

“No, I didn’t. I have been in love with you since forever, Lix. Will you be my Valentine?” Felix pushed his head into Changbin’s chest and wrapped his arms around his skinny waist. He nodded his head until his head spun. Changbin pressed a soft kiss to Felix’s hair and let him sit in the uncomfortable position, Changbin wasn’t worried about driving to dinner anytime soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Youngjae's next! Or will it be Jisung and Minho? 
> 
> I guess that just depends on which I finish first.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Ims were a happy family once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tags have been updated! Please read with caution as there is a death in this part. Sorry I lied about all these updates leading to Valentine's Day being happy and fluff.

Momo had reminded Youngjae to clear his schedule for the weekend, claiming Dowoon had a school presentation they both needed to see. She had a surprise for her husband that she didn’t want to keep a secret any longer. 

“What do you mean you have a recording for a variety show tonight? I- Jae, I told you to not do anything today and tomorrow.” Momo sighed and placed the hand holding her phone on the kitchen table. She heard the tiny speakers produce Youngjae’s excuses but she didn’t want to hear them. She hung up, cutting off whatever her husband was talking about. 

“Mama, was I bad? Are you-” Dowoon couldn’t think of the right word as he placed his head on Momo’s lap and twirled. He looked up at her expectantly. “I’m upset at appa, and frustrated. Also at appa. Not at you. Mama’s never sad about seeing her baby boy.” 

Momo pushed her chair back to properly pick up Dowoon without hitting his head on the edge of the table. Dowoon latched onto her for a hug and then began to wiggle free. “Ah, no you don’t,” Momo said when Dowoon slipped off her lap. Dowoon let himself be chased through the living room and kitchen until giving up and dragging Momo to the play room. 

“Peach, I’m sorry I’m home so late.” Youngjae led with his apology first, moving to wrap Momo in a hug. 

“No! Youngjae, you were supposed to be home yesterday.” Her voice was raw from crying into her pillow so Dowoon didn’t hear her. Youngjae paused to fully take in his wife’s appearance. She was changed into her pajamas, the Finding Nemo ones that matched with Dowoon’s. Her makeup was wiped off but even makeup couldn’t cover up the puffy eyes and worry bitten lips. Her hair was all different directions despite being pulled into a haphazard bun. 

“Momo-yah. What’s wrong? You look-” Youngjae was cut off by the sound of a hand making contact with a wall. “Don’t tell me what I fucking look like Youngjae. I look like this because of you!” Momo was screaming, she never screamed - not at Dowoon when he coloured on the walls, not at her members when they made her stay late at practice, and never at Youngjae. 

“You’re going to sit at that kitchen table and listen to what I have to say, but you will not interrupt me.” Youngjae felt like he was scolded, closely to how the handled Dowoon being punished. He silently moved to sit at the table and placed both of his hands on his lap. “I tell you to take a break or make sure to not schedule anything for certain days because something else, something more important is happening, Youngjae. I thought we had this fight for the last time when I was pregnant with Dowoon, but I guess we discuss it for this pregnancy too.

“This is not how I wanted to tell you, I wanted to go to dinner and not get wine or seafood and have you guess. But you wouldn’t have a clue because you’re never here to see me throw up in the mornings or any of the other signs. I already got my hours of practice and schedules reduced, I already told JYP-pdnim but I can’t tell him on your behalf.” 

Youngjae looked at Momo with big, teary eyes, “you’re pregnant again?” he asked in a hushed voice. “I’ve been pregnant for four months now, the baby’s already moving” she pulled her shirt taunt to see the small bump forming around her stomach. “The doctor said it was a high-risk pregnancy, just like the other ones. But I made it to four months, so it’s less likely we’ll lose them. That’s why I need you here, Jae. I can’t keep up with Dowoon and the company wants to put out another album before I go on a longer leave. I’ll only be participating in the songs, not the choreography, if you’re worried.” 

Youngjae was worried, after they had Dowoon, the couple wanted another baby so Dowoon had someone to grow up with. It didn’t seem meant to be, six years and eight miscarriages took a toll on all of them. Even if Dowoon didn’t understand what was going on he still knew his Mama and Appa were upset and that the younger sibling they promised wasn’t coming as quickly as they hoped. 

“I’m sorry, Momo-yah. I’ll cancel everything for tomorrow and put in my notice immediately on Monday.” Momo sighed and took Youngjae’s hand in hers. All the fight from her eyes had dissipated, leaving an almost empty gaze. “We’ll get hyung to help. Maybe Mark-hyung will pick Dowoonie up from school-” 

“Jae. We do this together, I’m not saying we do it alone, but together. Let’s try to take care of Dowoon on our own before enlisting the help of our family members.” Youngjae looked up to see Momo’s timid smile. Together. They were going to do this together. 

Youngjae didn’t know what to do. His baby boy was just taken from his arms when his wife’s body began to seize. The young father didn’t know whether to focus on the screaming baby in one corner of the room or the love of his life in another. “Sir. Sir, your wife needs you.” A nurse pulled him out of indecision and he turned towards Momo. 

She hadn’t stopped seizing, the blood pooling from her uterus increasing with each shake of her body. The handful of nurses in the hospital room were holding her down while the doctor did everything he could to save Momo. Youngjae gripped his wife’s hand like his life depended on it - because it did. 

Under his breath, Youngjae pleaded with any god out there, “I can’t do this by myself. I need her. Dowoon needs her. Our baby needs her. Please, let her live through this.” Youngjae’s last sentence was accompanied with a long, final ‘beep’. Momo’s body had stopped shaking, but her chest rising and falling had stopped as well. Her eyes were closed and the hand in Youngjae’s didn’t grip back with the strength it had just moments ago. 

Youngjae fell to his knees, still grasping Momo’s limp hand. The nurses tried to administer CPR but after 10 agonising minutes with no positive results they stopped. “No! Please keep-” Youngjae shouted as the doctor pronounced the time of death, a half hour after he had announced the time of birth for their son. 

The son that was still wailing in some other person’s arms. The same nurse that urged Youngjae to be with his wife softly reminded him that he had a new son to look after now. Youngjae looked behind him at the nurse holding his baby and lifted himself from his knees. “I want Momo to meet her son. She needs to know her baby.” 

“Momo-yah,” he addressed his wife’s laying on the bed, “this is our son. He’ll inherit your soft, black hair, and your perfect jawline, and your pretty tiny ears. I’ll let him pierce them if he wants. He’ll have my eyes and nose, but I think he already has your lips. He’s so small, I wish I could keep him like this for you but I also can’t wait for him to grow up. I’ll care for him double what we would have, Dowoonie too.” 

“Sir,” the doctor was looking at him again. Youngjae worried the man was going to tell him to say his final goodbyes, but all he did was ask for a name. “Minho, Momo wanted to name him Minho.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Momo's my bias, I swear.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Communication is key.

Jisung sat in between his triplets, sitting patiently as he looked over the program. They were with their whole group, only missing the Wang-Tuan children who were in college outside of Korea, to watch Minho’s last dance performance on the crew he had been with since he was six. The college he had been allowed to stay in any outside arts activities, he would have little time to keep up with them after his classes began but Minho made time for it all four years. 

The lights began to dim and the M.C for the showcase came out from behind the curtains. “Hello and good evening! We have a lovely line-up of truly talented dancers to perform for you tonight. This showcase is dedicated to our oldest, and longest, member Im Minho. He is going onto a professional academy and has to leave us behind, please cheer loudly for him tonight and continue to follow him through his budding career in the arts.” 

Jisung folded the program and handed it to Seungmin, clapping along with the rest of the crowd as the M.C. left the stage. The performances flew by, with each group Jisung grew more nervous for Minho to take the stage. The M.C was diligently announcing who was up to show their talents, Jisung felt the moment his stomach flipped when the lights went black. Small stage lights casted blue shadows onto the sleek black surface. 

A familiar seven chord intro played as a dark figure stepped out onto stage. His hyung’s voice filtered through the speakers as the dancer on stage, Jisung assumed it was Minho - no one else had access to that song- as the blue lights got even dimmer. 

_Even though I held you as I imagined, even though I held you tight with my own two hands… ___

_ _Minho’s movements flowed effortlessly, cradling himself in his arms to convey the lyrics of the song. The pre-chorus rushed in faster than Jisung expected it to, time was flowing differently as his attention was focused solely on Minho’s dance. _ _

_I feel the light flooding in._ The lights got brighter, changing to the bright yellow tinge every other performer had been under. Minho’s movements became much more harsh, no, precise was a better word. He leapt and bounded across the stage, using as much space as he wanted to but in a controlled manner only a professional dancer could attain. __

_I was constantly running to you… The more I got close to you the more I lost myself… ___

_ _ _ _ _ _Minho was standing, slightly swaying, at the front of the stage, his eyes were searching for someone in the crowd. It was long before he found Jisung, the younger hadn’t taken his eyes off him since the song began. Minho crashed to his knees and violently turned his head away, Jisung couldn’t tell if this was actual choreography or if Minho was just improvising at this point. The chorus came in again and Jisung knew what was coming next. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _The dance break was filled, every second a different move perfectly executed by Minho. The hurt and despair of the song was seeping through Minho onto the stage and into the crowd. Jisung felt a small drop of water land on the hand placed in his lap. He didn’t even try to wipe away the tears brimming over. _ _ _ _ _ _

_I was afraid of letting you go, but I had to let go of you. It’s all good now. ___

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Minho ended the song in gasps, head hanging low, arms outstretched, legs quivering. The applause didn’t reach his ringing ears, only his heavy breathing mattered at the moment. But he knew he had to compose himself enough to bow properly to the crowd cheering for him. He walked forward, legs less shaky now, and found Jisung again. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _The younger was a sobbing mess, containing only the smallest composure to clap loudly and gave a watery smile to Minho. The older quickly bowed, the showcase was over as he was the last performance. Minho rushed backstage and down the small set of stairs before pushing the large door open. It was a struggle to find his family in the sa of other people congratulating their children but the 17 men gathered in a huddle wasn’t hard to miss, especially with his Uncle Bambam’s stark white hair. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Jisung was latched to him in seconds, whimpering out “that wasn’t meant for me” and “please don’t leave me, Minnie.” Minho’s instincts reacted before he did, tightening his hold on Jisung’s waist to pull him closer. He pressed small kisses to the younger man’s hair in attempts to calm him down. He looked up to hear his family members praise him while still reminding Jisung he was right there with him. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Everyone was beginning to leave but Jisung hadn’t left his spot, still deeply nestled into Minho’s flowy silk shirt. Minho looked over to his father, silently asking what to do with a lift of his eyebrows. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Ah! Hyung, I forgot to ask earlier but can Sungie spend the night? Minho mentioned it a couple days ago but I got caught up in schedules.” Youngjae asked his brother, hoping he would see his slightly distressed son and let him go with them. Jaebum nodded, even offering to take Dowoon for the night. “A fair trade, Minho gets his boyfriend, Sungjin gets his.” Jaebum was joking as he pulled Dowoon towards their car. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Minho saw his older brother blush and “sneakily” smile at Sungjin like their blooming relationship was a secret. Jisung was still shaking in Minho’s arms, the sobbing had quieted but the amount of tears Minho felt through the thin fabric didn’t wan in the least. He coaxed Jisung to walk backwards, leading him to his father’s car. Youngjae had the sense to gather Minho’s performance gear and bring the car closer to the building’s entrance while Minho navigated the younger boy. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Sungie, sweetheart, I need you to calm down. You can stay here, but we need to buckle and start breathing properly.” Minho had dealt with panic attacks, because that was what this was. Jisung got them quite frequently, he inherited anxiety from his biological mother, and the only thing that calmed him down was his immediate family or Minho. Chris and Changbin had been pissed at Minho for a month because Chris’ baby (Jisung) no longer responded to him talking him through his attacks. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Breathe, just breathe. You can feel me, love. I’m right here, just breathe with me.” _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _He felt Jisung shutter against his hold, a sign the younger boy was trying to inhale like a normal person. Minho gently rubbed his back, up for the inhales, down for the exhales. He let Jisung do whatever he wanted as long as he was breathing. The crying subsided as Youngjae pulled into their garage. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Appa, I’m just gonna take him to bed. I love you, night.” Minho said as he ushered Jisung up the stairs, leaving his father at the entryway. Minho let Jisung sit on his bed, head still cradled against Minho’s stomach, “are you gonna be okay while I shower, love?” Jisung whimpered but nodded regardless. Minho made it quick, stripping off his sweaty dance outfit on his way to his bathroom and doing enough in the shower to actually be clean and smell nice. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _He pulled on a pair of boxers before looking back to Jisung on his bed. The younger seemed to still be breathing properly, but he was curled into himself and shaking violently. Minho shouldn’t have left for a second. The dancer made his way to his bed, arms outstretched for Jisung to see he wasn’t going to hurt him but also give him the opportunity for skinship if that’s what he needed right now. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Min,” a rough cough followed Jisung’s call. “I’m coming, baby boy. Right here,” Minho placed a gentle hand on Jisung’s knee and waited for the younger to react. “I- Minnie- please.” Jisung’s voice was raw from the crying. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Sweetheart, I don’t know what you need right now. Can you tell me?” Minho was sitting beside Jisung now, their hands had found each other. Jisung couldn’t get a coherent sentence starter out, Minho decided to take a different approach. “Baby, I’m gonna suggest some things we do to calm you down and then we need to talk about what got you this upset. Does that sound better?” _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Minho stuck to simple yes or no questions, like “are you thirsty?” and “do you want to cuddle?” This method worked much better for Jisung, he didn’t have to reply or think about a response too hard. Minho finished his questioning when Jisung finally got comfortable in his arms. The younger boy watched the water droplets still clinging to Minho’s tan skin silently. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Jisung refused to let Minho leave to put clothes on, the rapper was stubborn and only made them get under the covers for warmth. Minho sat there for a while, letting Jisung do whatever in his grasp until the leg his boyfriend was on began to lose feeling. “Can we lay down now and get ready for bed, love?” _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Jisung didn’t nod, only positioning himself to lay flat on Minho’s bed and waited for the older man to shift and spoon him. “Are you comfortable sleeping in jeans, Sungie?” Minho whispered into his ears, Minho was boxing him in with his body, legs on either side of Jisung’s waist and upper body propped up on elbows next to Jisung’s ears. There was no one else on this floor of the house but Minho thought it best to keep the calm atmosphere he tried so hard to build. He felt Jisung’s hair tickle his nose when he shook it up and down. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Minho lifted himself up and moved around to take off the skinny jeans wrapped around Jisung’s legs. “Wanna keep the sweater on?” Minho asked, he really hoped Jisung decided to keep it on. The soft pink against his skin made the prominent black ink on his arm stand out even more. Jisung mumbled ‘yea, Min’ and pulled the dancer to him, it was uncomfortable for a few seconds as Minho tried to get his limbs to cooperate and finally flip the two boys over. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“I know you want to be babied, love. Just sleep on me, Sungie.” There was no room for protesting and Jisung knew that. He pressed a small kiss to the nearest patch of radiating skin on Minho’s chest and sighed. Within a few minutes of Minho stroking Jisung’s back and humming out the lullaby Jae had written for the group of younger boys, the younger boyfriend was asleep. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Minho heard rustling beside him, turning his head away from his pillow made the noise louder. Then he felt a hand on his thigh, playing with the edge of his boxers. Minho opened his eyes, there was a lump in front of him situated between his legs. No doubt Jisung was hidden under the comforter. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Minho could only manage to gasp out “Sungie,” before he felt a wet sensation over his clothed dick. His boyfriend seemed to take that as encouragement and he continued to soak the boxers, making the black fabric cling to Minho’s cock. Minho moved the blanket off of Jisung to get a proper view of him. The younger boy was in tears again. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Minho sat up and twisted to place a pillow in between Jisung’s mouth and his half-hard dick. “Sung, what’s wrong?” Jisung’s head fell onto the pillow in Minho’s lap like he was exhausted. Minho heard soft whimpers as the tears followed the tracks down Jisung’s puffy cheeks. Minho brought a gentle hand to Jisung’s blonde locks, playing with tufts while he waited for Jisung to explain. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“I don’t want you to leave me, hyung.” Jisung hadn’t called him hyung in a serious situation since they got together as a couple. It was a title strictly reserved for addressing Minho when Jisung wanted to slip into their experimental subspace. But this ‘hyung’ didn’t sound like Jisung wanted to have sex._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _It dawned on Minho that this related to what Jisung had been mumbling into his shirt last night too. ‘It wasn’t meant for me,’ it being the song. The song Chris had written about a break up with his problems, Minho had used it for his last showcase. One of his dance teachers told him one time that he needed to connect with the emotion of the song and try to tie it to something in his life. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _When Chris had run the song past Minho to see if he could sing any part of it, Minho felt something. There was this urge to dance to the song, the choreography already taking up space in his mind. Chris gladly gave Minho a copy of the finished product, all his dongsaengs and Chris’ voice fitting perfectly together to make an amazing song. Chris had his reason for writing the song, Minho had his own reason for dancing to it. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _His mother. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _For his whole life, Minho has been missing a small piece of himself, constantly contributing it to his late mother. His father tried his hardest in raising him and Dowoon, but it got rough sometimes, Minho thought of the ‘what ifs’ that incorporated the beautiful woman he only knew in pictures. But during his transition from high school to college, he blamed everything on Momo. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _His last year at the university taught him more about life than actual educational things, like how to properly grieve for someone you never knew. His favourite professor pushed him to go through and rethink his life in an extremely meta way. But his came out with a conclusion; it was time to move on. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _That was the song’s purpose for him. He’s been chasing a life that could have been instead of allowing himself to happily live in the now. Minho couldn’t be the sullen adolescent hiding his fear and pain behind snarky, borderline bullying, behaviour. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Below him, Jisung let out a string of whines and whimpers when Minho halted his ministrations in the blonde’s hair. “Ah, baby. I’m not leaving you. I could never leave my baby squirrel.” _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“But the song, hyung,” Jisung began only to be shushed by Minho. He turned Jisung’s face so their eyes met, “the song was about my mother, love. I, we, never dealt with our emotions properly. Dowoon discovered instruments, appa fell into a blackhole at work, and when I was old enough to dance I used it as an escape from my problems. I should have been using it as a medium to figure out my emotions and work through them. You tell everyone about the things you’re struggling with through your lyrics and raps, I decided to dance in a mentally healthy way for once in my life. I’m sorry I didn’t give you a heads up about the song I used. I know you helped Channie-hyung with some of it.” _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Minnie, I really thought you were breaking up with me.” Jisung’s lower lip began to quiver. Minho bent at an angle only achieved because of his increased flexibility to kiss Jisung. “I said it before, I’ll say it again. I can’t ever imagine my life now without you. Not when I’m on tours in Europe with the academy, not when I was in a fancy dance college while you were at the arts college with Binnie, and certainly not when I have so many plans for us.” _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Jisung smiled and shifted so he was propped up on his elbows looking at Minho. His hair had swept in front of his eyes, brushing against his long eyelashes. Minho brushed the hair back to look at Jisung again. “What are they?” _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Minho titled his head in question, “what are what?” “The plans, silly.” Jisung smiled at Minho, finally signalling that he was feeling better than before. Minho smiled back and hit his head softly against the wall. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“For one, I want to marry you. We could get so many cats that we can’t cuddle each other. The three here need to stay with appa, he’ll be too lonely. Then, when all of my feline needs are met we’ll try adopting as many kids as you want. Girls, boys, doesn’t matter to me.” _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _He heard Jisung whisper a soft ‘like me.’ Minho prompted him to speak up. “Those are my plans too, but I’m limiting you to two cats. We can’t have more cats than humans in our house.” Jisung fell to lay on Minho’s chest and wrapped his arms around him. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“I’m glad we’re on the same page then.” Minho chuckled, hands tangled in Jisung’s hair. He was glad they got through that little hiccup. Minho made a mental note to not go through with his proposal plans of asking Jisung to marry him with a song._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> god i hope i did the italics correctly


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> JJ Parents get the day off they deserve thanks to the best big brother; Sungjin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! Valentine's Day is tomorrow and I've saved my favourite ship(s) for last. I hope you enjoy the chapter, comments are always appreciated!

The newest addition to the Park family quietly crept through the house, praying any creaks he stepped on didn’t wake his younger brothers or the two older men he had recently deemed worthy of the title ‘dad’. He successfully made his way past the triplets’ rooms with no sign of them waking up. He eased up and walked the rest of the way to the kitchen downstairs. Sungjin looked in the refrigerator to see what leftovers they had, Jinyoung had this weird habit of keeping food to reheat and use in breakfasts on the weekend. 

This week Sungjin wanted to wake up and make breakfast for them, maybe even bringing two servings to his parents’ room so they could have breakfast in bed. Sungjin was halfway through making the meal, when he felt small arms wrap around his waist. He looked over his shoulder to see a sleepy Seungmin pressed against his backside. A mushed greeting came from his lips “morning, hyungie.” 

“Good morning, Seungminnie. Why are you up so early?” Sungjin asked as he placed the wooden spoon on the countertop. The three-year-old was still latched onto Sungjin’s waist as he tried to twist to face his younger brother. “Sung-ah crying.” Sungjin’s eyes widened, he hadn’t heard Jisung’s usually loud wails from anywhere in the house, but they must have been loud enough for Seungmin to wake up. 

“Min, I need you to sit at the table and wait for hyung to come back. There’s colouring books too.” He got a nod before Seungmin walked to his seat at their table. Sungjin turned down the heat on the stove and pushed the still warm wooden spoon further on the counter so if Seungmin got bored or curious he wouldn’t get hurt. 

As Sungjin got to the top of the stairs he could hear soft crying, but his parents’ bedroom door was still shut. He slipped into the triplets’ room. Jeongin was still peacefully asleep, but the maknae was sitting up with his one hand in his hair and the other rubbing at his face. There were small tears in Jisung’s brown eyes, increasing in number as his gaze settled on Sungjin. 

“Hyungie,” the small three-year-old let out, Sungjin was by his side in a moment, rubbing his back and trying to ask what was wrong. Jisung couldn’t get anything out of his younger brother, his focus was on something else, too busy looking for something to answer Sungjin’s questions. Sungjin took a step back and looked at the young boy, like actually looked at him. 

Jisung was wearing the pajamas Sungjin had picked out for him last night, simple loose pants that looked too big for the tiny three-year-old still and Jisung’s favourite blue sleep shirt. The clothes were a little frumpled but the dark gray sweatpants were darker around his crotch area. “Ah, Sungie, you had an accident, baby?” The older brother carefully picked up Jisung and carried him to the bathroom. 

“Hyungie’s sorry. I didn’t put the pullup on properly, sweetheart,” Sungjin apologised as he let the water warm up and stripped Jisung. He heard a knock at the door and looked over to see Jinyoung’s face peeking through. “Morning, Sung and Sungie. Need help?” 

“Nah, Minnie’s colouring downstairs, Innie’s still sleeping. Go back to bed, papa. I heard you come in at two and appa came in even later.” Sungjin was helping Jisung into the bathtub and carefully started to wash him. “Thanks, Sung. Jaebeom and I are gonna sleep in as long as we can. But come get us if the triplets get too much.” Jinyoung slinked away from the bathroom and Sungjin quickly washed the maknae. 

Jisung clung to Sungjin as they dried off. “Sweepy,” Jisung’s lisp heavy as he refused to fully be awake. “We’re gonna go strip your bed and dress you in comfy clothes. Then you can sleep next to Seungminnie.” Jisung nodded into Sungjin’s neck, agreeing with Sungjin’s early morning routine. 

A little under 20 minutes later, Sungjin was back in front of the stove finishing the rest of their breakfast. Jisung and Seungmin were asleep again, slumped against each other. Seungmin had a crayon held in his hand and his arm wrapped around Jisung’s tiny waist. Jisung was softly sucking on his pacifier and clutching the long sleeves of his sweatshirt. 

Sungjin almost didn’t want to wake them up but it was already 8:30 and Jinyoung liked to keep the toddlers on a strict schedule. Some stupid developmental psychologist told the parents that Jisung was a ‘difficult’ child and Jeongin was a ‘slow-to-warm-up’ child, while Seungmin was perfectly fine as an ‘easy’ child. They had adjusted their lifestyle, one that was already demanding for the photographer and actor, to make raising children more streamlined. Sungjin thanked them, but also wanted to remind them that just because Jisung cried more than his brothers or Seungmin was bossy for a three-year-old didn’t mean they shouldn’t relax like the toddlers they were. 

Sungjin looked back to the two boys still snuggling before leaving to get the middle triplet. He heaved the small child from the bed into his arms, a content sigh came from Jeongin when he nuzzled into Sungjin’s warmth. “I know you’re awake, Innie.” The young boy liked to pretend he was asleep to see what the grown up would do, but his trick didn’t work on Sungjin. Jeongin giggled in Sungjin’s hold as the older brother tickled him. Little squeals of “Hyungie!” filled the quiet room, Sungjin was half tempted to keep tickling the middle triplet but the laughing and shouts were getting louder and he didn’t want to wake up his parents. He settled for taking Jeongin downstairs to eat and trying to keep the noise level low. 

Jinyoung was the first to emerge from their bedroom, he heard whimpers from the triplets’ room through the baby monitor. When he checked the room, only Jeongin was in his bed, but Jinyoung noticed Sungjin’s door was ajar. The actor looked to see if the other two were with him and found the older’s room empty. Jinyoung only had one room left upstairs to find his babies; the bathroom. 

As he got closer to the door he heard water flowing. He peeked his head into the bathroom and was greeted with the sight of his oldest and youngest, the later stripped of most of his clothes. “Morning, Sung and Sungie. Need help?” Sungjin was perfectly capable of caring for his younger siblings but Jinyoung felt the tiniest bit of guilt. 

He and Jaebeom had a lot of work lately, Jaebeom stayed out later than the actor some nights to accommodate idols’ busy schedules. Jinyoung had long filming sessions back to back for the new drama he was acting in, any break he had was spent video chatting with the kids or napping. The tiny guilt he felt grew when Sungjin shrugged him off, “Nah, Minnie’s colouring downstairs, Innie’s still sleeping. Go back to bed, papa. I heard you come in at two and appa came in even later.” 

He hadn’t even remembered the oldest triplet not in his bed but Sungjin had him accounted for. Jinyoung put his head flush against the doorframe, maybe he did need sleep. He’d thank Sungjin with a meal out or letting his friends sleepover one night. “Thanks, Sung. Jaebeom and I are gonna sleep in as long as we can. But come get us if the triplets get too much.” 

Jinyoung walked back to his room, straining his neck to look over the stairs and glance at Seungmin sleepily trying to colour. He smiled and opened the door to his room, seeing Jaebeom looking around the room, half propped up on his elbows. “Nyoungie,” he sighed out when he saw his husband enter their room. 

Jinyoung got back into bed, pushing Jaebeom down so he laid flat, and settled his head on Jaebeom’s chest. “Sungie’s got it.” 

“I really hope Sungie is Sungjin and not Jisung. I don’t want the house to burn down,” Jaebeom moved his hand to card through Jinyoung’s hair. “I love you, Jinyoung.” 

Jinyoung mumbled out an ‘I love you, too’ before he fell back asleep, Jaebeom followed shortly. 

The next Jinyoung and Jaebeom left their room, the house was still silent. It was nearing noon, but no laughter, shouting, nothing indicated that anyone was awake. The parents shuffled down the stairs, looking around for their four children. All they saw was lunch on the table and a note in Sungjin’s stiff handwriting. 

“Kids were getting rowdy and didn’t want to wake you up. We’re out with Lix and Hyunjinnie. The Kim’s house this time. Enjoy Valentine’s Day, dads. Love you guys!” 

“He’s so nice, what did we do to deserve him?” Jinyoung said as he placed the note back on the table. He glanced at Jaebeom, the older man was stuffing his face with the bibimbap Sungjin made. He sighed before sliding into the seat next to Jaebeom and began to eat. 

“I know this is late and I totally meant to ask you this like three weeks ago, but what do you want to do for Valentine’s Day? Now that we don’t have kids we could-” Jaebeom cut himself off with a playful lift of his eyebrows. Jinyoung lightly shoved his shoulder and laughed. Jaebeom smiled too, how could he not when Jinyoung’s face lit up like that. 

Jinyoung took another bit of his meal, “that sounds like a good idea but I also want to go on a proper date with you. Even if it’s just a walk along the Han river.” Jinyoung felt Jaebeom’s arm twist around his waist and drag him, along with the chair he was sitting in, closer. 

“We can get started on the first part of our day.” Jaebeom mumbled as he tilted his head and leaned forward for a kiss. Jinyoung met him halfway, kissing Jaebeom was like second nature. It should be - he’s been doing it for more than half of his life. 

The two met when they were trainees, instantly taking a liking to each other and becoming inseparable. The CEO of their company even debuted them in a duo named JJ Project, taken from their names. They were successful right from their first album, Verse 2, and held fame for three years until Jaebeom got into a terrible car accident. 

It left him in a three-month coma, Jinyoung didn't know if he was going to wake up, as his body repaired itself. Jaebeom was deemed partially paralysed, the metal rod throughout his entire left leg and the plastic right hip caused him too much pain to continue with the idol life. Their company disbanded JJ Project, if Jaebeom couldn't dance, he couldn't perform. They focused on turning Jinyoung into an actor, something they always thought about but couldn't happen while he was a famous idol. 

Jaebeom honed his hobby; photography. He turned it into a career when the company let him go, but they practically begged him to come back to photograph their idols' concept pictures and teaser photos. Jaebeom worked with many companies, flitting back and forth at odd hours to fit them all in his schedule. 

"Beommie," Jinyoung whispered against his lips, the younger's eyes were still shut, his lips parted just enough to repeat Jaebeom's name over and over. The slightly older man shifted to lift Jinyoung from his seat and lead him back upstairs. Never taking his hands off of him. 

The actor and photographer called Sungjin after their shower to check in on the four kids. Two triplets were running around a brunet Jaebeom and Jinyoung could only assume was Hyunjin. Jisung was nestled into Sungjin's side, partly sprawled across the older's lap. He was struggling to keep his eyes awake as his appa and papa cooed at him. Sungjin had told them that he wore himself out playing with the other maknae but slipped and needed a break. 

Seungmin and Jeongin ran over to say hello and goodbye to the parents. They resumed their chasing and laughing immediately. "We're lucky the Sungs love us so much." Jaebeom grumbled when their middle children ignored them. 

"Appa, I'm going to take them out to eat at the market and Uncle Bambam said he could house us tonight. Wonpil said they had a hotel so he and I are in charge of the kids." Sungjin smiled at the mention of Wonpil, the fondness didn't go unnoticed by the parents. They discussed the plans and told Sungjin that they were going on a riverwalk and could come back home that night. 

"You can still sleepover at Pil's. Take a break from being a third dad, Jinnie." Jinyoung offered, he did miss spending time with the triplets. Sungjin was old enough to stay up later and talk with his parents when they got home from work - most nights anyway. Sungjin thanked them before hanging up to gather the kids running rampant. 

“So, I know we don’t work on weekends if we can’t help it, but I have to take pictures of you in this light.” Jaebeom let out a manly giggle as he stared at his husband. They were leaning against the rail that prevented them from falling head first into the Han river. “I wish the blossom tree behind you was pink, you’d look even softer.” Jaebeom commented. 

He took a few steps backwards and grabbed his phone from his pocket. “Can you look a little towards the sun, Nyongie?” His husband complied, instantly squinting his eyes due to the setting sunlight. Jaebeom tried his best to include the small bonsai tree and the white blooms, while having the main focus on a relaxed looking Jinyoung. 

A few clicks later and Jinyoung’s attention was back on Jaebeom. “I don’t know what your obsession with photos are, you have millions of pictures of me.” 

Jaebeom moved back to his spot, flush up against Jinyoung’s side with his arm around him. “I can never have enough pictures of you, you’re my muse Jinyoungie. Thought you knew that at 15 when I wrote songs about you. Or 18 when we debuted together. Or 22 when I practice photographing you for my classes. You’ll always have my attention, I wouldn’t want it any other way.” 

“Beommie, you have four children to compete with now. Are you up for the challenge?” Jinyoung tucked his face into Jaebeom’s neck, trying to conceal his blush. He felt Jaebeom respond with lips brushing his hair and the shell of his ear, but he couldn’t properly hear what his husband said. He shifted to look up at Jaebeom’s profile, “what was that?”

“You love me too much to not pay attention to me,” Jaebeom repeated smugly, a smirk plastered on his face as he glanced down at Jinyoung. “You’re just right for me, Nyongie. You are my life, you always will be. Take my hand.” Jaebeom lifted his hand for Jinyoung to grasp. 

“Look, that ring is alway on your finger. You refuse to take it off for any drama shoot or music video. You had me practically begging on my knees because you always played hard to get, even after dating for five years you still rejected my proposal twice. 

“But when you finally said yes, God, Nyoung, I felt like I could fly. You’re my home, you and those adorable children we get to call ours. I don’t care if I have to compete because there’s no competition. There’s enough of you to share equally. Even though you’ve loved me longer.” Jaebeom pressed a kiss to the crown of his head. His lips lingered, settling into a comfortable position together just watching people on the Han river before the time they told Sungjin they’d be home. 

“Mong-mongie! Appa and Papa are home!” Jinyoung shouted as they entered the house. They were greeted by loud, fast footsteps, the little triplets rounded the corner to see their parents. Their faces lit up in smiles, Jeongin and Seungmin running to Jaebeom and Jisung throwing himself into Jinyoung’s arms. All three boys were in pajamas, despite it only being six. “Sungjinnie-hyung fed us barbeque!” Seungmin reported as Jisung yelled “Can we make a fort?!” 

Jinyoung and Jaebeom looked at each other and smiled. “We’re gonna bake and build a fort and watch movies. Does that sound good, mong-mongie?” Jeongin was the first to agree to his parents’ suggestion. Jinyoung and Jaebeom kissed Sungjin’s head as he walked out to head to Wonpil’s house, reminding him to behave himself and thank the Kims when they came back. 

“Now, who’s ready to bake some cupcakes?” Jinyoung asked, excitement lighting up the triplets’ faces. They all rushed to the kitchen and got the ingredients. Jisung insisted that they make the cupcakes heart-shaped, even being three didn’t stop Valentine’s Day love. 

While the cupcakes were in the oven, Jaebeom helped the triplets set up a fort using all their favourite blankets. “Appa!” Jeongin squealed out as Jaebeom tickled him, “stop!” Seungmin fought the hands away from Jeongin’s stomach and grabbed his siblings’ hands to pull them away from their father. “Appa, why don’t you kiss Papa more?” Jisung asked through fingers in his mouth. 

Jaebeom chuckled a little bit, wondering how Jisung came up with the question. “Appa and I do kiss, you’re just never around to see it, baby.” Jinyoung answered from the doorway. He was greeted with the brightest smiles and they only got brighter when they heard the oven ding, signaling that their cupcakes were done. 

The family sat around the decorated cupcakes, debating on who would eat which one. Jinyoung set a cupcake in front of each of them to avoid fighting. Jaebeom moved to grab the last cupcake before Seungmin screamed, “That’s hyungie’s!” Jaebeom immediately let it go. Despite the screaming, Jaebeom was proud of his eldest triplet remembering the older brother. 

“Okay, boys, just eat your cupcakes and we’ll watch a movie after.” Jinyoung pulled his phone out from his pocket and snapped pictures of the triplets, sending them to Sungjin with ‘they miss you!’ 

“Pillie, stop. Hold on, babe.” Sungjin softly pushed Wonpil off of his lap to look at his phone. He had rang with the ringtone he set for his dads, always knowing to check the message in case it was an emergency. “Jinnie, I did not pay Jae-hyung and Brian-hyung to babysit the kids for you to look at your phone.” Wonpil whined out as he tried to reattach his lips to Sungjin’s heated skin. 

“It’s Papa, calm down, Pil. It just takes a second to respond. What if he gets suspicious? I thought we’d be in charge of watching your younger brothers tonight. I miss Binnie.” Sungjin said as he texted a sting of emojis in reply. 

He whipped his attention back to Wonpil, knocking the younger’s chin with his head. There was a sickening crack and Wonpil’s eyes went so wide, Sungjin almost laughed at how comical he looked. The urge to laugh died as quickly as he came when Wonpil began to tear up. “Sungjin-hyung,” Wonpil managed, he clutched at his jaw in pain. 

“I’m so sorry,” Sungjin rushed out as he shifted to look at Wonpil’s face. “Lemme see, baby. Open it slowly.” Wonpil shook his head, small shakes to avoid hurting it further. “Come on, I can’t help if I can’t see what’s wrong. I don't know if I have to give you an ice pack or not.” 

Wonpil tilted his head back and slowly opened his mouth for Sungjin to see. “Ah, Pil, you’re bleeding really badly. Does it hurt a lot?” Wonpil nodded with his eyes, closing his mouth as soon as Sungjin wasn’t looking into it. “I’m getting an ice pack, look up on Naver what could have happened.” 

When Sungjin came back into the living room, Wonpil’s tears had fallen. His phone was shoved into Sungjin’s hands with a tab already open. “Broken jaw!” Sungjin said, more of a statement than a question. “I’m so sorry, babe. We have to tell your parents and take you to a hospital if you think you broke your jaw.”

“You,” Wonpil garbled out. Sungjin took that as a command to call Wonpil’s parents, not an accusatory ‘you.’ 

“I broke your son’s jaw,” was the first thing that came out of his mouth when Bambam picked up the phone. The man sighed before asking which son. “Wonpil. I’m so sorry, Uncle Bam. It was a complete accident.” Bambam reassured him he wasn’t angry and that they’d be home in 20 minutes to take Wonpil to the emergency room. 

Sungjin sat next to Wonpil on the couch, “want me to stay with you when you go to the hospital?” Sungjin asked softly. He waited until Wonpil’s hand found his and squeezed. “I don’t want Appa to claw your eyes out,” Wonpil whispered out through a partially closed mouth. 

Sungjin was slightly upset that Wonpil didn’t want him but also figured Wonpil was hurt and angry at him. He was the one to potentially break the younger’s jaw. He waited the 20 minutes it took for Wonpil’s fathers to come back, Bambam wrapped him up in a hug while Yugyeom glared silently at Sungjin with slits for eyes. 

“I’ll just go home. Text me when you can, Pillie. I love you,” Sungjin gathered his things quickly and left for his house in the dark. By the time he got back his siblings were all asleep in the living room, there was a movie playing quietly in the background. Sungjin pulled off his jacket and dropped to the air mattresses to sleep with his brothers. Before he fully fell asleep, he felt one of them - probably Jisung - curl up closer to him and begin to sap his warmth.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little backstory about the producer and his trophy husband.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is two months overdue, if it was a library I'd be broke. I'm sorry it took so long to get this out but I hope you enjoy it regardless.

Mark looked at his husband, Jackson was falling asleep on the couch next to him while their movie played. The movie Jackson demanded to watch. Mark sighed and pulled Jackson’s head onto his shoulder so it’d stop jerking about. “I’m just resting my eyes, Yien.” Jackson spoke. 

It was clearly a lie, the younger man had already shifted to make himself more comfortable. The fireplace’s heat made Jackson’s face flush with warmth, the cheek pressed into Mark’s shoulder proved Jackson was maybe a little too warm with the three blankets piled on top of him. Jackson always loved to be warm and cuddled in blankets or sweaters even if it made him sweat. Mark couldn’t relate to that need, he preferred being the slightest bit freezing, something Jae, Chris, and Felix learned to love. Younghyun on the other hand was originally from Korea, he never experienced warm summers in LA or Sydney, never had the desire to cool down using his father as an air conditioning unit like his brothers. 

“Seunnie, if you wanna go to bed, we can. You’re practically dead on your feet, well not feet cause you’re sitting.” Jackson shifted again, shoving his cold toes up against Mark’s calves. Mark let out a gasp as Jackson sighed. 

“Gotta wait for- for the kids,” Jackson mumbled while pressing his face further into Mark’s neck. Mark stifled a laugh with a yawn, the said kids weren’t coming back tonight and Jackson seemed to forget that. Bambam and Yugyeom offered to take their four this weekend if the older couple took their four on a different weekend. Mark didn’t want to think about taking Wonpil, Changbin, and Hyunjin along with their own boys, but he knew he and Jackson needed a break. Last week they had come back from China and America, both of their business trips had been extended and overlapped. They returned to the biggest and busiest week, exam week. 

Mark walked into the house to find Jae chasing Chris, the younger had his older brother’s notebooks clutched in his arm. Younghyun was curled up on the kitchen table, head on his backpack and psychology textbook laying open on his stomach. “Oh, baby,” Mark hushed out as he brushed Younghyun’s hair out of his face. 

“Mama, you’re home.” Younghyun smiled before it turned into a frown. “Oh my god, what time is it?” He sat up completely and looked for his phone to see the time. Mark had settled next to Felix on the couch joining him in watching a cartoon while his brothers went crazy around him. “Did you eat real food in the past two weeks?” “Uncle Jinyoung came.” Felix said, putting Mark a little at ease. 

“Mark, come on, honey, we fell asleep on the couch.” Mark was shaken awake to Jackson’s voice. His neck was sore and his back was stiff, something he had tried to avoid earlier in the evening. Jackson had refused to move though, resulting in discomfort for the middle-aged men. “I miss when we were younger.” 

He and Jackson had been college sweethearts, the younger came to Korea with a fencing scholarship and Mark had followed his parents when they moved to their home country. Despite Mark having no interest in fencing, he was dragged to a match during his sophomore year and recognised one of the players as the obnoxious freshman in his music composition class that he had a slight crush on. 

Later in the semester, he was paired with the obnoxious freshman when neither were picked by their classmates. Mark - with his crush reignited - learned to tolerate Jackson, they bonded over being foreigners and knowing multiple languages. Their composed song had incorporated four languages, earning them extra credit. Jackson decided they were friends after the project ended and weaseled his way into Mark’s life. 

Mark found himself seeking out Jackson in everyday situations, wondering if the Hong Kong native would like a certain pair of shoes or what he wanted to eat for lunch that particular day. Jackson was the first person to mention how their hang outs were similar to dates. “This is the third time this afternoon that I’ve wanted to kiss you.” 

Mark had responded with a confident “Then do it,” only to be met with slightly chapped lips and a hand wrapped around his bicep. He pushed back into Jackson’s lips with his own and titled his head to a more comfortable position. Mark found himself tightening his grip on the blanket they were sitting on and following Jackson’s lips as he pulled back from the kiss. 

Jackson looked into Mark’s eyes, he could see the small smirk in his peripheral vision and wanted to kiss it away. At the same time, he didn’t want to seem pushy. “I think we should room together next year, we’d make great roommates.” Mark said absentmindedly, trying to steer the conversation to a topic where awkwardness couldn’t creep in. 

But leave it to Jackson to be stubborn about everything in his life and follow up Mark’s statement with his own. “I think we’d make great boyfriends.” Mark was left speechless and Jackson leaned back on the older’s bed. “I know you feel the same as I do, Jinyoung told me at a party a few months ago.” 

If Jackson had known for months that Mark wanted to kiss and hold and do more mature things with the Hong Kong fencer, why had he just brought it up now? Mark flopped down beside Jackson silently hoping the younger’s need for skinship would flare up and he’d cuddle into Mark like he usually did. He felt the bed shift and thought his hopes were answered. There was a soft press of lips against his cheek and Mark saw Jackson walking away from him. “I’ll give you some time to think about it, still on for Friday at that boba place?” 

Mark had enough brain cells properly firing neurotransmitters to give Jackson a nod, just before the tan man slipped out of Mark’s dorm room. He laid there on the bed until his roommate came back and talked through the situation with him. 

They had started dating on that Friday, Mark claimed he needed to make up for lost time and took Jackson out for dates whenever he had free time. The couple rented an apartment close to campus for a fairly cheap price and began living together. They were there for each other through thick and thin - like Mark’s graduation and Jackson’s attempt in gaining citizenship - better or worse - parties where Mark got insults for looking like a slut and afterglows when Jackson erased any doubts Mark had - in sickness and in health - a particularly bad flu season had rendered the frail Mark useless for a whole month during his senior year. 

It was no surprise to Mark when he said yes to Jackson’s proposal. Saying the three letter word was easier than breathing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully I can get more chapters out - I have three started - but after the last unintentional hiatus, I shouldn't make promises. I'll just spoil a little and mention that Jeongin and Yedam are going to go through some angsty teenage relationship things.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating is changed due to some swearing. 
> 
> Also! for about 500 words I wrote about Jongin and not Jeongin. You don't wanna know how long it took me to figure out why that didn't look right. 
> 
> Enjoy the chapter!

Jeongin walked into his first class of the day, he had two cups of coffee in his hand. One cup held coffee that looked like milk, the other was as dark as a shadow. The senior almost stopped walking when he saw three people already in the classroom. 

It wasn’t uncommon, usually he and Yedam were the first two in class but the line for coffee had been longer than usual today and it seemed like other students had arrived already. The unusual thing about the situation was where the boys were sitting; on either side of Yedam. Jeongin felt a pang of jealousy when he heard Yedam’s laugh ring through the empty classroom - Jeongin assumed one of the students had said something funny. 

Jeongin continued walking, he stopped in front of Yedam and held out the cup of coffee. “Hey, Yedammie,” Jongin said with a partially fake smile plastered on his face. Yedam thanked him as he took the coffee from the older adolescent. 

“Hyung, this is Junkyu and Jihoon. They’re my friends and trainees from the company. I told you about the trip we went on this weekend, they were some of the boys I went with.” Yedam had talked for hours on the phone with Jeongin on Sunday night about his trip to Iksan. 

Yedam was a part-time producer and vocal coach for some entertainment company, he was recently accepted and told that he was going to be grouped as the head producer for a large number of boys they planned to debut soon. School and late at night became the only time Jeongin could hang out or speak with his boyfriend, even the weekends were taken by the company to train and work with the boys in vocal skills. Now the people Yedam spent so much time with were following him to school as well? 

Jeongin smiled politely and introduced himself as Yedam’s classmate. The raven-haired boy - Junkyu - winked and made a sly comment about Yedam talking about him all the time. Jeongin nodded and sat a few seats away from them, waiting for more students and the teacher to arrive. Junkyu and Jihoon left before the class began, but it was too late to move and sit next to Yedam. 

This continued to happen. Eventually Jeongin met all eleven trainees under Yedam’s care. They were all nice, Jeongin couldn’t hate them, but he could resent them for taking up so much of his boyfriend’s time. He couldn’t help the growing jealousy residing in his heart. 

Jeongin crawled into Sungjin’s bed and cuddled into his sleeping brother. The older was back for the Chuseok holiday and had noticed how upset Jongin was over his relationship situation. Sungjin offered his comfort any time Jeongin needed it. Jeongin decided he needed the comfort when Yedam had told him he had been asked to be a manager for the eleven boys. Of course Yedam had taken the offer, and telling Jeongin after he had done such a thing irked the older man. 

Jeongin felt like he wouldn’t be able to talk to his boyfriend until - Jeongin didn’t even know. Jeongin thought he shouldn’t even call Yedam his boyfriend. Sungjin stirred awake just as Jeongin began crying. “Innie, what’s wrong? What happened?” Sungjin slurred out as he looked at his baby brother. 

“I miss Yedammie, we hung out every day and spent so much time together for three years, but now I hardly see him. It only took a few weeks for him to abandon me. Are we even dating anymore because it doesn’t feel like it? I don’t even know when I’ll be able to talk to him next cause he never shows up to school. Even if he came to school he’d have his new trainees-slash-friends walk him and stay until classes started, ignoring me. Papa and Appa don’t understand. Maybe you don’t either but you’ll probably at least try.” 

Jeongin felt thumbs press at his cheeks to wipe away the tears streaming down them. “Oh, Innie,” Sungjin started to say. Jeongin didn’t really want pity and the tone Sungjin spoke with dripped with it. “He’s not abandoning you. Isn’t this his dream?” 

Sungjin waited for Jeongin to nod before he continued. “Do you think he’d be upset with you when you spend so much time at a psychology office, or come home stressed because of a bad patient encounter, or you don’t come home at all?” Jeongin whispered a soft ‘no’, Yedam wasn’t like that. He was always supportive of Jeongin’s career choice. Even after changing it four times. 

Yedam was always there for him. He showed Jeongin that he loved him not in words but in actions. The cooked meals, showing up at his dorm to force him to take a break from studying, late night calls that went on for far too long to be healthy for their sleep schedule. 

Jeongin had to be there for Yedam now, when he was pursuing his dreams of producing and managing. Jeongin nuzzled into his older brother’s arms and sighed. “If I learned anything from my relationship with Pillie, it’s this. Relationships are not 50-50. Somedays they’re 90-10, or 35-65. The feelings you have for each other are equal but the effort you put into the relationship doesn’t always have to be. Focusing on being equals can be too stressful and harm your relationship. And I don’t think you want to end whatever you have with Yedam.” Jeongin thought about his brother’s advice and was lulled back asleep by the band’s new song coming from Sungjin’s mouth. 

Yedam walked into the cafe’s doors looking expensive. Jeongin knew the exact moment Yedam found him in the sea of crowded tables, his face had lit up with the widest smile possible. “Hi, babe,” Yedam greeted as he sat down. Jeongin smiled and pushed the iced americano towards him. “How have you been?” Jeongin asked. 

“Ugh,” Yedam groaned quietly, “I’ve been so tired. The company has me basically teaching these Japanese trainees Korean. Thankfully, only two are singers and have talent, but it’s still a lot.” Despite Yedam complaining about his job, the gummy smile hadn’t left his features. Jeongin didn’t know to blame it on satisfaction of producing for an actual company now or seeing him in such a long time - he wanted to take credit for it but knew it was probably a mixture of both. 

Yedam doesn’t have time to take a sip of his iced americano before his phone rings. “Hello,” Jeongin watched Yedam’s face fall and then take on a stern persona of its own. 

“No, Hyunsik. Everyone deserves their day off and this is my first one in two months. You can deal with whatever bullshit Jeongwoo’s spouting or Jihoon’s complaining. You’re their leader and you better start acting like it. Don’t fucking call me again today.” Yedam kept his voice calm despite the swearing. 

He hung up the phone. Jeongin thought he heard a small ‘sorry, hyung’ before the click but didn’t dare comment on it. Yedam placed his phone in his pocket and turned back to Jeongin with his gummy smile intact. “Sorry, I told them I’d be out and chaos ensued. Enough about them, how’s school? How’s appa and papa doing with you guys fully moving out?” 

The couple fell into comfortable conversation, catching up on everything they’ve missed in the past few months. Yedam had proposed they go back to the apartment Jeongin recently leased and have the older give him a tour. It had killed some time, but time with Yedam was precious to Jeongin and he didn’t feel like wasting it on showing the producer his small bathroom and laundry room. 

They settled on the couch after eating take out and having a few beers. Jeongin’s alarm went off, he was met with a confused look from Yedam. “It’s to remind me that the drama I’m watching is starting in five minutes,” Jeongin bashfully said. Yedam pressed kissed to his blushing cheeks and suggested they watch it. 

The couple made it halfway through the drama before speaking. Yedam sighed while snuggling closer to Jeongin’s body, “do you ever feel like you’ll lose me forever?” The question was so abrupt and jarring that Jeongin paused the t.v. 

It took him a few moments to think of a proper response, a few moments too long for Yedam to hold back his tears. “Oh, Yedammie, baby, don’t cry. Please don’t cry,” Jeongin pleaded as he swiped his thumbs along the younger man’s cheekbones. 

“I don’t wanna lose you, Innie.” Jeongin barely understood Yedam past his tears and laboured breathing. “You’re not going to, I promise I’m here. You can’t lose me even if you tried.” Jeongin leaned his body into the couch and watched Yedam tumble with him, he hugged his boyfriend close as he continued to cry. 

Jeongin waited until Yedam was ready to talk besides the frantic “I can’t lose you” and incoherent mumbles of “please don’t leave me.” Jeongin hushed him in attempts to get the younger to breathe properly. It took a little more than ten minutes but Jeongin would have sat in silence for longer. 

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me.” Yedam tried to excuse away his crying episode as he wiped his eyes. “This new job is so demanding and it doesn’t pay much yet so I might have to move back into my parents’ house. I don’t get to see you at all and I miss you so much. I didn’t want to mention it but I feel-” Yedam choked back another ragged breath to continue. “I feel so lost without you. I don’t want you to leave, but there’s this voice in my head saying you will eventually because I’m never here.” 

Jeongin hugged him closer, “Sungjin-hyung told me a few weeks ago that relationships aren’t 50-50. It was something I needed to hear at the time,” he paused to gauge Yedam’s reaction. “It’s something you need to know, too. Please don’t put pressure on our relationship and expect me to leave because you’re not here. The amount of time that we spend together doesn’t matter, it’s how we spend that time, sweetheart. 

If we want to spend that time watching heartbreaking dramas on our couch, that’s fine. But I don’t want to spend it feeling guilty. I don’t want to feel guilty and I sure as hell don't want my precious baby to feel guilty.” Jeongin added a light kiss to the tip of Yedam’s nose for effect. He got a watery giggle and took the win. 

Jeongin leaned in for a real kiss and was happily met with Yedam’s hand grasping his sweater like a lifeline. Jeongin knew they’d get through this storm. They hadn’t gone through so much already and Yedam was his lighthouse, shining where the rocky paths were so Jeongin could avoid them and make his way back to the love of his life. Now Jeongin would be the lifesaver cast out in choppy waves to keep Yedam afloat. They’d get through this the only way they knew how. Together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That got really cheesy at the end, I apologise to anyone who is lactose intolerant. 
> 
> I love comments and appreciate EVERY SINGLE ONE even if I don't respond. (Should I add my tumblr/twitter here to interact with you guys???)


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little shorter than usual but my want of another tattoo made me think of a sentimental group tattoo for Stray Kids. Hope you enjoy!

Felix sat in the lobby with his shoulder pressed against Minho’s. “Are you sure you want to do this?” Changbin signed from the couch across from him, the question was directed to not only Felix but the triplets. Jisung shrugged like this was no big deal, and it wasn’t. The middle triplet had been collecting tattoos on his body for the past two years, his whole right arm was covered in black ink - mostly lyrics or symbols that related to music. Felix looked hesitant at best and horrified at worst, Jeongin had excitement dancing in his eyes as he kept looking back to the room Chan was currently in. Seungmin was trying to pretend he wasn’t nervous but Changbin knew his best friends, the fact that the oldest triplet was fiddling with his hands gave away his true feelings. 

“We said we’d get them with you, hyung’s already in there getting it. We can’t back out now,” Felix said. It had been his idea anyway, he had stolen it from their older brothers but they would have _skz_ written on their wrists instead of a smiling face on the inside of their finger. 

Hyunjin walked into the tattoo parlor and looked at his friends, “Chan-hyung is going first?” Minho nodded and told him to fill out the paperwork at the front desk. Felix rested his head on Minho’s shoulder while they waited. Earlier on the drive here, Felix had asked Chris to be with him when he got his tattoo and his brother agreed immediately, asking him if he wanted to see Chris get it done to ease his mind but Felix said it might make him more nervous. 

Jisung volunteered to go after Chris, grasping his triplets’ hands and pulling them with him. Chris had taken the seat next to Felix and showed him the plastic wrapped wrist. It was a little red and irritated but the black letters in Chris’ handwriting looked really pretty. Felix lightly brushed his fingers along the tattoo, Chris barely felt it. “It tickles more than it hurts, Lixie. I promise.” Chris whispered to Felix like it was a secret. 

Changbin and Hyunjin took pictures of their tattoos to send to their dads right away, they grew up around a lot of tattoos, Yugyeom’s torso was practically covered in the permanent drawings and Bambam wasn't a stranger to tattoos either. They got thumbs up and hearts back. 

Jeongin had come out with teary eyes and it made Felix grip Minho’s hand just slightly tighter. Chan’s hand was on his back, comforting him. “We can call it off, Lixie. Just tell us and we’ll understand.” But Felix didn’t want to call it off, despite the nervousness he felt or the pain he’d experience. 

He’d be trying to live a normal life - as much as an autistic kid that was adopted practically at birth could - and getting tattoos was something normal people did. He knew he didn’t have to get a tattoo, but he desperately wanted one. He turned to his brother, “I can’t be the only one that doesn’t have one, hyung. I'm a stray kid just like you seven.” 

With that, Felix and Minho were called back to the room everyone else had sat in to get their tattoos. Chris’ steady hand on his back was enough to push him through the door. He sat in the reclined chair and allowed the tattoo artist to adjust his arm to lay the outline over his wrist. “It’s going to sting, and you kids picked a sensitive part of the arm for the tattoo so just try not to jerk away halfway through.” The tattoo artist warned him and Felix looked away to focus on Chris. 

The first press of the needle did sting, like a bee or getting it caught on thorns, Felix felt his eyes widen and Chan shushed him, “gotta stay relaxed, Lixie.” As the letters were sketched on his wrist, the stinging turned into tickling - it was still sort of painful but manageable. Minho was looking at them with a smile, “you’re doing so well, maknae.” 

It took a lot less time than Felix thought it would. He turned to look at it when he felt the rubbing alcohol being put on his arm to wash away any stray ink. The tattoo artist went through how to properly take care of the tattoo so it would heal nicely. When he asked if Felix had any questions, the youngest shook his head and thanked the man. 

Felix was met with hugs when he walked back to the lobby, the triplets pushing to get to him and smother him in playful kisses. Felix laughed and brushed them off after a few minutes, his gaze found Changbin. ‘Lunch?’ he mouthed silently and received a happy nod. 

“Alright, boys!” Chris’ ‘I’m the oldest and most responsible’ voice boomed in the lobby. “Let’s get out of here, aren’t we all going back to mine for a movie night?” They walked out of the shop and Felix got into Changbin’s car. When Chris gave him a look - the confused look muddled with brotherly betrayal - Felix rolled down the window. “Lunch date but we’ll be back later, you have two less people to feed.” Felix said with a giggle as Changbin drove away without hearing Chris’ response.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of the Children's Day chapters! Hope you enjoy the next few chapters that come from my stressed-out-because-of-finals brain <3333
> 
> ALSO!!!! The tags and warnings have been updated as past abuse is talked about.

Chris woke up feeling safe. It was a good feeling he could only associate with falling asleep after one of Mommy’s bedtime stories or cuddling with his brothers until Daddy comes home with Hong Kong treats. Both of these were supposed to happen at one point today. Mommy had told him last night that today was special. 

This would be the first time Chris and Felix would spend the special day with Mommy and Daddy. Last night, Chris felt jealous because Jae and Younghyun had gotten this day multiple times before but Mommy reassured him that the two Australians being there made it even more special. Mommy had called it “Children’s Day” and explained that it was a day to honour the children they loved. 

He had promised Chris in hushed made-up voices that their family would go to the movies and watch a parade in the afternoon. Jae had mentioned from the doorway that their gifts were coming from overseas this year. It had taken an extra thirty minutes for Chris to fall asleep because of his excitement stirring in his tummy. 

Even now, still cocooned in his soft blankets with the lingering safe feeling, Chris smelled breakfast being cooked downstairs. The excitement from last night flourished and the sleepiness was wiped away in one fell swoop. He looked over to the crib on the other side of the bedroom finding Felix was still asleep. 

There was a knock at the door and Chris thought it was perfect timing for Mommy to come wake him up. He was disappointed when Jae’s slim frame entered the room, “morning, little dude. Let’s get ready for the day.” Chris sat in awe taking in the sight of his brother. Jae was in nice, new clothing. Or at least Chris thought it was new because the jeans fit just right on Jae’s long legs and the sweater he was wearing was clean of stains. 

Jae reached into the crib and cradled the still sleeping Felix, the older brother sat him on the changing table and dug in the cabinets for clothing. “Channie, Momma put new clothes on your wardrobe. Wear those today,” Jae instructed. Chris huffed at the use of his Korean name but found the new outfit regardless. 

It felt so soft, every part of it down to the socks. Chris couldn’t be happier. He eagerly put his clothes on best he could by himself. When he deemed himself ready, he sat back down on his bed and waited for Jae to finish with his younger brother. He didn’t wait long - only two run-throughs of the English alphabet - before Jae held his hand out. 

The three of them (really only two boys were awake) made their way down to the kitchen. “Morning, Mommy,” Chris shouted before running to the kitchen. He saw a flash of Younghyun’s soft brown hair but ignored it to get to Mark faster. He was greeted with open arms and nuzzled right in. 

Mark ruffled Chris’ mess of hair, “happy Children’s Day, baby. Ready for breakfast?” Chris let go and responded by haphazardly climbing into his assigned seat. He finally acknowledged Younghyun who was already nursing a glass of orange juice. He looked tired. Chris couldn’t understand how anyone could be anything but excited for the special day but couldn’t bring himself to ask. 

Chris already didn’t understand what made the day special, but he certainly appreciated being unbuckled from his car seat in front of the movie theater. They had discussed in the car what to see and the consensus was the newest Disney movie that had been released. Jae, as the oldest, put up some fuss but one pleading look from Chris changed his mind on the grounds that they got candy. 

Chris also loved the colourful floats that slowly made their way down the large street. Mommy had put him on his shoulders so he could see. He had been afraid of the height at first but the feeling went away at the first glimpse of the shiny red fire truck blaring its horn. Candy was thrown and Jae and Younghyun caught pieces for all of them. 

Eventually it got too loud for Chris and he pulled on Mark’s hair to let him down. He didn’t want to ruin this for his brothers though, they seemed like they really enjoyed watching the parade. So he stood next to Mark and wrapped around his father’s long legs. Chris focused on drowning out the noise by pressing his ear against Mark’s jeans but the material wasn’t as soft as his pants and rubbed his ear the wrong way. 

By the time the parade finally ended, Chris had a raging headache. It reminded him of the times his old parents’ had forgotten to feed him or leave the door unlocked when they were at work. He didn’t like this feeling. And the sour mood was affecting his behaviour. 

“NO!” Chris screamed at Mark. The father had only asked if Chris wanted apple juice or chocolate milk with his dinner. Chris knew he should apologise but he could only hear Felix’s crying from their bedroom upstairs. Mark quickly wiped away the confused and frustrated look on his face and directed Chris to sit at the table. Chris sat there in silence for the whole dinner, barely touching the plate in front of him. 

When everyone else had left the table, only Mark and Chris remained. The little boy was done acting like he was okay, he figured the jig was up an hour ago when he screamed at his father. “I-sorry, I’m sorry, Mark.” Chris stuttered out, he had slumped forward in the chair and his head hit the table with more force than anticipated. 

It did nothing to help the headache still throbbing away, but it did wonders to Chris’ tear ducts - they spurred into action without Chris’ permission and he began to sob. Any breath he took was followed by “I’m so sorry.” He heard the chair across from him scrape against the wood flooring. His apologies halted, Mark had left and no one would hear them anyway. Chris knew he’d have to stay here until Jackson got home to punish him. 

His old parents had done that, Mother never hit him - sure she would yell and shout - but hitting was Father’s job. If Chris had come home with anything less than a B, or the nice lady that threatened to take him away showed up, or if Chris ate too much at dinner he’d sit at the table in their kitchen and wait. Father never just used his hands. He would grab something on his way to the kitchen before punishing Chris. Then he would leave the boy sitting there - again - until he gained enough strength to walk down the hall to his room. 

Chris prayed Jackson wouldn’t be as strong as Father was. But in the back of his mind, he knew Jackson was even stronger. He had seen him pick all three of them up on multiple occasions. Chris rephrased his prayers, hoping Jackson loved him more than Father did and out of pity wouldn’t hurt him as badly. 

He was startled when a hand was placed on his back. The ‘I’m sorry’s came tumbling out of his mouth before he could register what he was saying. Jackson’s brown eyes looked watery through the tears still streaming down Chris’ face. “Oh, Channie. Baby boy, you’re not in trouble. I promise, you’re fine, baby.” 

Chris sniffled and pushed against his eyes with his palms. “I’m so sorry, Jackson. I won’t yell again,” he tried to bury himself in the soft sweater’s collar. 

Jackson sighed, setting off Chris’ tears again. “Channie, Chan, listen to me.” Jackson’s large hands cradled around the boy’s small face, drawing his eyes to his. “You’re not in trouble, you’ll never be in trouble for shouting. We just want you to know that you shouldn’t get to the ‘shouting’ phase of anger, baby. What made you upset in the first place?”

“Parade gave me a headache,” Chris mumbled, he thought Jackson could still hear him though. “Ah, my poor baby doesn’t feel good. Next time you need to tell Mommy so he can fix it. Or you can tell me if I’m around. We don’t want you to be sick, sweetheart. Promise me you’ll let one of us know?” 

Jackson asked the question but Chris took it as a demand. “I’ll tell you or Mark if I feel bad.” 

“Mark? Since when have you called him Mark? Mommy’ll be heartbroken if he hears you call him that.” Jackson rubbed his thumb along Chris’ face. Chris wanted to tell him that he didn’t deserve to call the older adult ‘Mom’ anymore but stopped himself in fear Jackson would be angry. 

“Can I call him that?” He couldn’t meet Jackson’s eyes. He didn’t dare try to look up at Mark, he had come back to the kitchen without drawing attention to himself but Chris saw him out of the corner of his eye. 

Mark moved closer, scaring Jackson and making him jump slightly. “You can always call me mommy. Even when I have grey hair,” Mark pressed a kiss to Chris’ hair, “even when you have grey hair. You’ll always be my baby so I’ll always be your mommy and Jackson will always be your daddy and Jae and Younghyun will always be your brothers. You’re part of our family and a little bit of yelling won’t change that. Especially not on Children’s Day.” 

Mark had nudged Jackson away so he had enough room to pick up Chris. The boy obliged and wrapped himself around Mark like a koala. “I’m never letting you go,” Mark whispered into his son’s shoulder. A fresh set of tears were falling onto Mark’s shirt but the hand running up and down his spine were already working to subdue them. 

“Why’s Chris crying?” 

Jae and Younghyun were standing in the doorway leading to the living room. “He’s just overwhelmed, honey. Go get ready for presents,” Jackson spoke for the two. The children scurried off, Chris lifted his head to look at Mark properly. “Do I get a present too, Mommy?” 

“Of course, my darling,” Mark wasn’t going to miss Chris’ reaction to the real - but children’s sized - piano they had gotten him.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe this is already chapter 20!! Thank you guys for supporting this story, I hope you enjoy how the Ims celebrate Children's Day.

Youngjae took Children’s Day seriously because his children were his life. Bambam and Yugyeom could tell their little group that they were the best parents, but Youngjae poured his heart and soul into his children’s life. 

The small family had a tradition that began even before Dowoon was born. Momo had been six months pregnant with him and spent the whole day “spoiling,” Youngjae had to stop her on her third piece of cake claiming she’d get sick later. He’ll never forget her rubbing it in his face when she felt fine the next day and ended up rushing to the bathroom to throw up. May fifth was to spoil children, but May sixth was for spoiling Momo and himself. 

The night before Children’s Day, Youngjae would spend hours wrapping presents, preparing meals, and decorating the house in Dowoon and Minho’s favourite colours. They would spend the day doing whatever the two children wanted to do. One year Minho begged to visit a beach and Youngjae couldn’t say no to the cutest puppy pout. 

“Hey, can Sana spend Children’s Day with us? Her parents are away and she’s missed all of the Golden Week celebrations. It’s fine if she can’t, but I thought I’d ask.” Dowoon was shovelling rice into his mouth. 

Minho looked excited at the prospect of Sana joining them for the holiday. It was no secret that the ten year old loved his former babysitter (sometimes she still watched him when Youngjae’s meetings ran late). He was nodding enthusiastically as if he could convince Youngjae to let Sana come. 

Youngjae felt bad for Sana that her parents were gone for the whole week - Japanese families had Golden Week that was full of celebrations - so of course he was going to let her join them. He nodded just as enthusiastically as Minho, drawing giggles from the child. “Thanks Appa, I’ll tell her later.” 

Youngjae popped out of bed as soon as his alarm went off. Minho had mentioned last night that he wanted to help Youngjae make breakfast so he sleepily made his way to the child’s room. The door was slightly ajar so Youngjae could slip in quietly, he walked to Minho’s bed and climbed in with him. There was a groan from the ten year old before he shifted and stuck his cold nose in Youngjae’s neck. “Morning, appa,” Minho croaked out. 

“Morning, baby. Ready to make some food for Woonie and Sana?” He felt Minho nodding and little hands pushing on his stomach. Minho demanded at least five minutes of cuddling before they moved to the kitchen. He got exactly what he wanted, Youngjae wrapping his long arms (in comparison to Minho) around the child and squeezed the air out of his little lungs. 

Minho and Youngjae were quietly working at the counters, Youngjae kept looking at Minho to make sure he was holding the knife properly and didn’t hurt himself on the hot toast. Minho was in the middle of washing his hands when the doorbell rang. “Noona!” he screamed as he ran to the front door, bubbles still clinging to his hands. 

Youngjae watched Minho open the door and immediately pull the young girl into the house. He babbled about his plans and what they wanted to do today, but Youngjae smiled when he saw Sana listening intently and responding to his ideas. “Good morning,” Sana said as they entered the kitchen, “thank you for letting me join today.” 

Youngjae hugged her, reassuring her that it was his pleasure and how he missed seeing her around the house. “So Sana is more important than your own brother?” Dowoon said from the front door where Minho left him. 

Sana offered to help set the table and pour drinks so the food would be set up when the boys finished their play wrestling in the living room. He thanked her and watched her find her way around the kitchen. Youngjae set the oven timer for the suggested time and made coffee. Minho was running back towards Sana, she put the carton of orange juice down just in time to catch him mid-jump. 

“Noona, you smell so pretty today and your hair colour is new. How do you look so pretty? And your clothes are so soft - I wish I had soft clothes like you. Noona, noona, noona,” Minho sang to himself. Sana pressed small kisses to Minho’s cheeks and laughed as he laughed. Sana tried to set him down but he twisted to make himself like a koala and hold tightly onto her. 

Sana gave up and patted his butt gently, “Minnie, I thought you grew out of this stage. You’re way too heavy to be held more than five minutes.” Minho smirked. 

“Good thing it hasn’t been five minutes.” Youngjae couldn’t help but laugh at Minho’s sassy comment. Sana looked pleased too as she adjusted him to a more comfortable position. 

Breakfast was a quick, light-hearted affair. Dowoon had offered to show Sana some of their new songs while Youngjae and Minho got ready for Children’s Day. The couple was met with a dapper little Minho in khakis and a button up shirt who immediately ran to Sana. 

“I’ve decided we go to the zoo,” Minho announced from his spot in Sana’s arms. Everyone agreed, Youngjae pushing the kids out the door so he could put their presents on the kitchen table for when they returned. They were small gifts, new drum sticks for Dowoon with his name burned into them, ballet shoes for Minho - Youngjae hoped he’d be able to help break them in because destroying stuff was always stress relieving - and a small necklace for Sana. He placed them and arranged them nicely before leaving the house and setting off to the zoo. 

Because Minho had picked the activity, Dowoon - and Sana - got to decide what food they ate. They had suggested a place that had good barbecue to eat their fill. Youngjae saw Minho’s eyes light up from the rearview mirror and smiled. He was glad all of them were enjoying the day. He didn’t care how much Dowoon was going to eat him out of all his money with his large portion of meats. 

They had gotten back to the house well past Minho’s bedtime. But the ten-year-old was still clinging to Sana and trying to stay awake. The manicured hand in his hair pushing his head to lay on her shoulder wasn’t helping - but Minho would never tell Sana to stop doing something - he was more whipped than Dowoon. 

“Presents,” he mumbled as they got into the house. “Yea, Minnie. Appa got you and Woonie-oppa presents.” Minho huffed in slight annoyance. 

“Present for you, too.” 

Sana was led to the kitchen by the hand resting on her back. “Appa got something for you as well. Even if we aren’t minors, today still celebrates us. Even if your family isn’t here, you’re part of our family. Have been for the last five years.” Dowoon spoke in a soft voice. 

Youngjae’s smile was the only thing not ragged looking on his face. He held three boxes in his hand, handing the blue on to Minho, the yellow to Dowoon, and the green to Sana. Sana shifted Minho to grab the present as she sat at the kitchen table. “Happy Children’s Day, babies. I hope you had fun today.” 

Dowoon gasped when he opened his box, the burned cursive looked beautiful on the sticks and he was already lightly tapping them against the table to test them out. Sana prompted Minho to go next. The tiredness around the ten-year-old had vanished momentarily as he bounced in Sana’s lap. “Slippers!” he giggled, holding up the ballet shoes for Sana to see. She rustled his hair and grabbed her small box. Before even opening it, she thanked Youngjae for thinking of her. 

She opened the jewelry box and noticed the gold lettering ‘From Momo’ first. Then her gaze drifted down to the charm of the necklace. Nestled in the velvet was half of a heart carved from blue topaz. Sana looked up to Youngjae, silently asking for an explanation. 

“All of us have half hearts of our birthstone. Minnie likes wearing the opal heart under most of his clothing, Dowoon’s stubborn and only wears his in August. It was Momo’s first gift to me on White Day. So we got one for the kids too when they were responsible enough.” Youngjae paused to take a breath. 

“When Woonie was ten, Momo and I fantasised about giving half of a heart to our daughter- or son-in-laws the first Children’s Day after they’re married. I’ve waited almost a whole year to give this to you. Practically longer because I knew you and Dowoon would end up together.” Sana felt a small hand pat her cheek. 

“Don't cry, noona,” Minho said from below her. He was wiping at the tears she hadn’t noticed were falling. Sana couldn’t help crying, it was such a thoughtful gift that didn’t come from just Youngjae. “There’s a note with it, but I wouldn’t read it tonight. It’s late, why don’t you stay here? I can fix up Dowoon’s old bedroom for you guys.” Youngjae said with a smile. 

Sana looked to Dowoon to silently agree to staying here for the night. She knew Youngjae missed having both of his boys under one roof just as much as Dowoon missed living with his father and brother some days. There’d be no harm in staying the night. 

Minho’s tiny adrenaline rush was over and he was back to his sleepy state, clutching Sana’s soft sweater with his tiny hands. “Can we watch a movie, noona?” he asked in the softest voice. Sana agreed and carried him to the living room. Dowoon followed to turn on the t.v. and drape blankets over himself and Sana. “What do you want to watch, Minnie?” Minho just replied with ‘whatever noona wants’ before setting into Sana. 

Within twenty minutes of the movie Dowoon picked, Minho was out like a light. “I always think he sees you as a mom figure,” Dowoon said absentmindedly. 

“Does that bother my Dowoonie?” Sana teased quietly. He shook his head as she pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Good then, I’ll just baby him until I have my own kids to spoil.” Her comment caught Dowoon off guard and he sputtered momentarily. 

“Don’t worry, Woon. I’ll be babying Minnie for the next five to ten years,” Sana laughed and snuggled into Dowoon’s side. The two cuddled and refocused on the movie until both of them joined Minho in sleeping on the couch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. I messed up on ages in past chapters, but in this case Minho is 10, Dowoon is 22, and Sana is 21. I don't even wanna try and calculate Youngjae's age. 
> 
> 2\. If it wasn't clear, and that is totally on me cause I'm time hopping a lot, Sana and Dowoon are married and have been for about nine months. They've been dating since Minho's five so Youngjae's seen this coming for a while.
> 
> 3\. Yugyeom and Bambam are next and this is the first time we're reallllly seeing into their family dynamic so I'm excited to write it!


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Children's Day if you celebrate it! Happy late birthday Bambam!
> 
> **There is martial fighting and father-son fighting in this with some swearing. Please don't be disrespectful to your kid or parent**

Most days, Yugyeom’s heart bled for Changbin. 

He felt horrible that something had happened before they could take care of him that rendered him - quite literally sometimes - speechless. He knew it wasn’t his fault, Bambam had made sure to remind him every day. But Yugyeom had brushed away Wonpil’s concerns and scolded Bambam for taking Changbin to not one but two specialists without telling him. 

Yugyeom wasn’t learning sign language as fast as his other family members, he couldn’t understand Changbin on bad days, Yugyeom felt like he didn’t understand his son. And he desperately wanted to know the dark bundle of joy. 

Yugyeom was making a conscious effort to include Changbin in things. Which is how the doctor ended up with a crying child in the middle of a bakery on a busy Friday evening. 

It was a week before Bambam’s birthday and Yugyeom wanted to throw him a party, properly because the past few years the kids have told Bambam before the actual day. So yesterday when Yugyeom came home, he picked Changbin up from his spot on the couch and brought him to the backyard. They swung for a while, Changbin hesitantly cuddling into his raven-haired father. 

“Binnie, I have an important job for you,” Yugyeom looked down to the small child in his lap to gauge his reaction. Changbin was paying attention, albeit with slightly hooded eyes. “You’re gonna help me plan Phorn’s birthday. You’ll keep it a secret, right?” 

Yugyeom felt hands form shapes against his stomach and he concentrated on the signs Changbin used. ‘I can help, appa. I’ll be really quiet.’ Changbin promised as if he was the loudest child in their house - that title when the youngest, Hyunjin, with Wonpil’s screaming-slash-singing coming in second. “Thank you, babe. Wanna stay out here with appa for a little bit?” Yugyeom saw Changbin’s fluffy hair bounce as he nodded and his arms wrapped around Yugyeom’s waist. 

Bambam was already in bed when Yugyeom got out of the shower. The bedside lamps were the only light illuminating the bedroom, Bambam using that little light to read his book. “You’re gonna strain your eyes, baby boy,” Yugyeom said as he pressed a kiss to Bambam’s temple, sliding under the covers. Bambam blushed at the pet name and shut his book. 

“What was your talk with Binnie about?” Bambam struggled to say because of the weight of Yugyeom’s head dropping onto his stomach. 

Wouldn’t you like to know,” but the not-so-playful tug on his hair had him continue speaking. “Just some Children’s Day stuff. I wanted to see if he wanted to celebrate it on Saturday instead of a school day. He was the last kid I needed to approve it with. You know Binnie,” Yugyeom sighed hoping the lie would be enough, “he likes his routines as much as Felix.” 

Bambam’s fingers found their way to Yugyeom’s hair and neck, gently prodding and rubbing to comfort the doctor and himself. “Saturday? Do we even have to celebrate Children’s Day? I mean-” Bambam paused, noticing his voice was getting louder. “I’m Thai and your parents never celebrated it. It’s not usually a big day for us anyway so why does it have to be on Saturday instead of Tuesday?” 

Yugyeom knew he hit a chord suggesting Children’s Day take place on Bambam’s birthday but this was part of his plan. The plan was cruel in Yugyeom’s opinion but he could always blame the idea on Mark. 

Yugyeom shifted to trap Bambam’s hands under his head when he looked at him. “Wonpil mentioned that even Mark and Jackson celebrated it and was upset that two foreigners were better at Korean things than his actual Korean father. The hospital already told us we wouldn’t get the day off and I don’t wanna disappoint Pillie again. If we do this then we can celebrate any - and I do mean any - Thai holiday you want. Think of it as starting a new tradition, Mookie.” 

Bambam huffed and pushed Yugyeom’s head off of him. Bambam turned on his side and flicked the bedside table light off. Yugyeom tried to wrap his arms around Bambam and cuddle before sleeping only to be kicked away. “Not tonight, Yugyeom.” 

Yugyeom and Changbin decided to walk to the bakery instead of driving. “How’s 3Racha doing?” Yugyeom watched Changbin’s hands fly in a blur of movement. “Binnie, Bin, please sign slower, you know Appa isn’t as good as your brothers.” Changbin huffed, for good reason, and used simpler signs for Yugyeom to understand. 

“Don’t you ever get frustrated, baby?” 

“Yea, you.” 

Changbin’s answer was so blunt that Yugyeom stopped walking. The hand connected to Changbin’s tugged forward and the child realised his father wasn’t keeping pace with him. 

‘I get it, you’re really busy with work all the time so you can’t practice as much as Phorn but even the other dads are better than you. Uncle Jackson can speak five languages and learned sign language for me within 5 months. Uncle Jaebeom told me he met a deaf kpop artist and they were so impressed by his skills because he’s good at signing. You’re the only one that can’t pick it up. You speak to me about my day because that’s the only thing you learned. I bet you wouldn’t know if I was hurt or wanted to kill myself because you don’t know those signs. You have to stop relying on my facial expressions and your family members to translate what I say.’ 

Changbin was right. Yugyeom had no idea half of what the boy said. He had looked at his son’s face more than his hands, seeing how angry eyebrows morphed into ugly tears. Yugyeom wouldn’t know what Changbin had said because Bambam wasn't there to tell him. 

“I’m sorry, Binnie. I really am but I don’t know how to show you that, baby. All I can say is that I’m trying and I will keep trying for you. I want to understand you. I’ve wanted to understand you for ten years, sweetheart.” Changbin’s crying increased and Yugyeom tried to pick him up. 

The small child screamed and Yugyeom noticed people around them look in their direction. “Changbin. Stop this, now!” Yugyeom said with a slightly raised voice. “We’re going to this damn bakery and getting your father’s cake. Then we are going home and you’ll be grounded for at least a week. This behaviour is something I’d expect from Hyunjin, try to act your age.” 

The harsh words brought more tears to Changbin’s eyes as his father pulled him towards the bakery. Yugyeom was thankful Changbin’s tears were silent when they entered the crowded store. When he finally made his way to the counter, the employee helping him offered to give the father and son cookies to cheer up Changbin. Yugyeom politely declined. Changbin let out a little whine and pressed his face into Yugyeom’s pants. 

Yugyeom sped through paying and rushed out a ‘thank you’ before dragging Changbin out of the bakery. He had no idea how Changbin had so many tears to continue crying but he did. Changbin was practically running behind his tall father as they walked back home, still getting looks because Changbin continued crying. 

Yugyeom didn’t expect Bambam to be home - or any of the other children for that matter - but they were all watching t.v. in the living room. “Hey, boys- oh my god, Binnie! What’s wrong, baby?” Bambam was knelt in front of Changbin faster than Yugyeom could hug his sons. 

“I was bad, Phorn.” The sentence took three minutes to properly say. It felt foreign to hear Changbin force out the words. 

“Ah, it’s okay Binnie. Sign it all out for me, we’ll work through it so my baby boy’s not crying anymore.” Bambam reassured with a worried look plastered on his face. Wonpil had moved from Yugyeom’s side to hug his younger brother, glaring at the other two when they tried to get near him. 

“Can’t. Appa-” Changbin was cut off by a groan. Wonpil had elbowed his father in the stomach, already assuming he was the reason their baby brother was crying. To be fair, he was right and Yugyeom probably deserved to be hit, but the doctor would have preferred it coming from his husband - not his son. 

Bambam pushed himself off the ground and ruffled Changbin’s hair, “boys, go help Binnie get cleaned up before dinner. Appa and I have to have a talk.” Wonpil took Hyunjin and looked behind him to see Bambam guide Changbin towards the eldest child so he and his husband could speak in private. 

“Bam, we had an argument and he threw a tantrum in public. I told him he’d be grounded for a week. We’ll talk later when he’s calmed down. Don’t worry,” Yugyeom felt two palms rest against his chest before registering the force behind them. He took a couple steps to find his balance in attempts to not stagger into the wall. “Changbin is incapable of throwing a tantrum, Kim Yugyeom!” Bambam had used air quotation marks to make his point. 

“He’s fucking mute! And with what little words he said he blamed you for his crying. I know that’s what he was going to say. So no. You didn’t just have an argument. You probably yelled at him and then he signed something you didn’t know so you got more angry with him. 

“How long was he crying?” Yugyeom stared at the floor, hesitating to answer. “Fucking answer! How long was my child crying because of your ignorance?” Bambam screamed. Yugyeom mumbled ‘since we left’ in earnest. 

“Don’t come back until you have an apology for Changbin. You can miss my birthday and this bullshit Children’s Day celebration. If you cared so much about our children you would at least wipe the tears off their faces. Go.” Bambam was much calmer, but that alone made Yugyeom drop the cake on the floor and rush out of the door. Bambam didn’t care where he went, he just had to give him space right now. 

\---- 

After a long conversation before bedtime, Bambam knew the whole story. He had lightly reprimanded Changbin for using harsh words towards his father but knew they were true. Before Bambam left he saw Changbin’s hands moving, ‘did you put the cake in the refrigerator?’ 

“No, I’ll go do that right now. Good night, sweetheart.” Bambam checked on his other children, leaving Wonpil’s door open slightly. He knew the older child would sneak out later in the night when he thought Bambam was asleep to cuddle Changbin and comfort him further. 

The cake was still on the floor, partially crumpled from the fall. He crouched and opened it to see if the actual cake was damaged. Bright green lettering spelled out ‘Happy Birthday Bambam’ with small blue flowers bordering the smashed cake. Bambam momentarily lost his balance and fell on his butt. He hung his head in shame. Yugyeom had used Children’s Day as a distraction for a surprise birthday celebration. A wave of guilt washed over him and Bambam couldn’t look at the cake anymore. 

He had to apologise to Yugyeom for being an asshole, he spoke harshly - just like Changbin - in the heat of the moment. But Yugyeom also had to apologise to them, for hurting their feelings. Bambam sat there for a few minutes sobbing until he could compose himself and dejectedly walk to his bedroom, leaving the cake to sit on the floor all night. 

\---- 

Bambam woke up with three bodies piled around him. He smiled when he opened his eyes and saw all of his children still sleeping. “Wonpillie~, Binnie~, Jinnie~” Bambam called out. He reached out his hands to pat at butts and wake them up. “Phorn,” Hyunjin croaked out, pushing his way up the bed to cuddle into his father. “Happy birthday,” Wonpil cheered out as Changbin clamped his arms around one of Bambam’s legs. 

The family got out of bed and started their day. When asked about what he wanted to do for his birthday he responded with “just being with my babies is enough for me” as he squeezed Changbin and Hyunjin. They cleaned up breakfast and filed into the living room to watch movies. Bambam asked Wonpil to throw away the cake box. 

The family didn’t move until Hyunjin’s stomach growled, they had been watching Star Wars for eight hours straight and Bambam supposed it was time to eat again. The boys grew in excitement when Bambam pulled his phone out to order chicken. He justified his choice with (1) it’s his birthday, (2) he already cooked once, and (3) Yugyeom wasn’t here to help him tame the heathens. “Shush, you three,” Bambam whispered as he started the next movie. 

A meal and three movies later, all the children were asleep. Bambam trudged up and down the stairs multiple times to put each boy to bed. He cleaned up the boxes of chicken and left the downstairs after turning off all the lights. He changed into his pajamas and got into a cold bed for the second night in a row. He let the bedside table lamp illuminate the room as he checked all of his phone notifications. 

<>  
Happy birthday, my love. I’m sorry for our argument yesterday and for the way I acted towards Changbin. 

There was a video attached and Bambam opened it, turning his volume up. “Go” someone - it sounded suspiciously like Jinyoung - said from behind the camera. Yugyeom walked into view and waved. There was a shaky smile fixed to Yugyeom’s face as his hands were pulled close to his chest. 

‘Hi, sweetheart! I’m sorry I missed your birthday, it’s the first one since you came to live with us. I hope the kids made it worthwhile and you enjoyed your day.’ Yugyeom paused and the smile sort of fell from his face. ‘I should be trying so much harder. I know that and I’ve always noticed how behind I am compared to you guys. Even Jinyoungie is behind the camera signing to me about how I’m a dumbass. I want to communicate and understand Binnie like the rest of you do so I’ll use my extra time in the hospital to learn more signs. Please show this next part to Binnie.’ 

Yugyeom paused as if Bambam was going to get Changbin at this moment. ‘Hey, Bin. How was your day? I hope it was better than mine, I spent it with the Park clan learning basic sign language. I learned things like I love you so much, and no matter what I’ll still love you, even if we get into fights and we yell at each other. I’m sorry I made a scene in public and then blamed you.

‘Anytime I don’t understand a sign we’ll practice for an hour. You can hold me to it and test me as soon as I come home. I’ll see you soon and apologise in person, baby. I love you, good night.’ Bambam sighed and pressed the call button. As soon as Yugyeom answered Bambam cried and smiled. “I love you,” was all he had to say to Yugyeom to cry with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This started with the intention of fluff and ended being angsty. I had no idea how to write my way out of Yugbam's fight - please excuse the awkward resolution.


	22. Chapter 22

Younghyun squinted as his alarm rang, the bright light shining through the blinds - blinds Jae forgot to close when he came home late last night - he rolled onto his side and stuck a hand out in search of his boyfriend. The sheets were cold and Younghyun sighed. Jae had gotten home after Younghyun fell asleep and was already out of bed at an early six in the morning. He knew his boyfriend was preparing for finals and because it was his final year they matter. Younghyun just didn’t want him to burn out in the process. 

Younghyun was already burned out, he overprepared for three exams and failed at least one. His final three were all music related and pre recorded - only lyrics for a new song had to be submitted. Younghyun shoved his head into Jae’s pillow and inhaled. The scent of chocolate and almond butter rushed into his nostrils, Younghyun let out a content sigh. At least the scent of Jae’s shampoo let Younghyun know the older man had actually slept there. 

His second alarm rang and he shifted to get out of bed. Stumbling to the bathroom, Younghyun still didn’t feel awake. He much preferred their apartment filled with small siblings and cousins - really just kids in general, but he wasn’t ever going to mention wanting children with Jae until they were more settled - it was too quiet and he felt lonely. 

Younghyun felt the towels, one was wet - good, Jae had taken a shower before heading to the studio. Younghyun decided to forego a shower, he had another late-night in the library planned and would take a shower before heading over. There was a cup of coffee on the kitchen table, it was still steaming and looked like the perfect shade of coffee-to-creamer ratio. We always just miss each other, Younghyun saw written on a post-it note. 

Jae sat at the kitchen table, he was watching the creamer swirl and mix with the coffee thinking about Younghyun. His sweetheart of a boyfriend was still sound asleep in their bed, Jae could picture how Younghyun would wake up (he’d be content at first and feel horrible as soon as he realised Jae wasn’t in bed with him) and start his day. He grabbed a post-it and the closest pen, Jae wrote out in big loopy cursive We always just miss each other, but I still love you. He decided against a row of hearts and then crossed off the whole message. 

He left off the but I still love you. Jae wanted to say it in person. He missed saying in person, seeing Younghyun’s shy smile and blush. He hadn’t seen Younghyun’s smile in two weeks. This exam season was taking a toll on them more than any other week. Jae feared that after these few weeks, they’d have to reevaluate their relationship and Younghyun would end it. 

Jae sighed and let his head fall onto the table. He could hear the small sound of the clock, tick tock, tick tock, mocking him. Precious time he wasn’t spending doing homework or tweaking his songs or holding his boyfriend was passing by him every tick tock, tick tock of the clock. Jae groaned again and grabbed his backpack from the floor. It was almost time to leave for his first class anyway. 

Jae sat on the couch with his legs drawn to his chest, his laptop was strategically balanced on his knees as he worked on his songs. He had bumped up the bass to keep him awake - the library closed at two and it was nearing the hour - he wanted to go to bed with Younghyun and was torturing his ears to achieve his goal. Jae heard the lock gingle and the door swung open silently. “Hi, babe,” Jae greeted from the couch putting his laptop on the coffee table. 

Younghyun jumped and clutched his chest, “God, Jae. What are you still doing up?” Younghyun made his way to the couch and flopped down beside Jae. Instantly, Jae was wrapped in a hug and Younghyun’s soft hair brushed against his chin. 

“I stayed up so we could talk,” Younghyun tensed, “not like that baby boy, I just want to talk to you past ‘how was your day?’ ‘Good, you?’ I miss you and we live together.” Jae dropped his head to nuzzle into Younghyun. He let some of the guilt he had been feeling lift off his shoulder. 

“I love you, baby.” Jae said for no particular reason, he hoped he never had to give a reason to Younghyun. In an ideal world, Younghyun and Jae would never question their love for each other but until then Jae would remind him. Younghyun pushed his head further into Jae’s body, “Nobody loves you more than me. I missed you so much, hyung.” Jae knew Younghyun didn’t feel good if he was calling the elder ‘hyung’. 

“I missed you, too. So, so much,” Jae peppered kisses to Younghyun’s head. “Have you been doing well in your finals?” Younghyun nodded and then shook his head, the shaking continued until his whole body was shaking. Jae moved so he could see Younghyun and started to shush him. “Hey, hey, it’s okay. You’re probably halfway through and it’s just one more week. Then we can visit mom and dad and your favourite baby brothers. Can we make it til then?” 

Younghyun shook his head, mumbling barely coherent ‘can’t, hyung, can’t.’ 

Jae smooshed Younghyun’s face in his hands, “breathe, Bribri. Calm down, baby boy.” Jae moved a hand to rub at Younghyun’s nape of the neck. The action had an immediate effect for some reason and Younghyun dropped his head into Jae’s body again. “Okay, okay. Talk to me, Hyunnie. Tell me what’s going on, I’ll always be on your side,” Jae left his hand on Younghyun;s neck. 

“I don’t think I can make you happy anymore. I feel like I’m making you like me - the depressed and anxious and worst parts of me.” Jae’s hands pulled Younghyun closer and Younghyun’s hands finally grasped Jae’s sweatshirt. The younger man let out a stuttered breath, “you’ve alway been my moon on my darkest nights, but clouds are covering you. I can’t find you anymore, I’m losing my way and I don’t know what to do, hyung.” Younghyun sounded desperate, clinging to Jae as soon as he could.

“I’m so afraid,” Younghyun repeated over and over as Jae began rocking them. The sobbing didn’t relent until four am. Jae had given up on trying to console the younger man after an hour and just sat there on the couch letting him cry. 

“Better?” Jae croaked out when he noticed Younghyun had stopped crying. Younghyun nodded. “Okay, baby boy, let’s get you some water and then we’ll head to bed. We can miss some classes.” 

“Can we eat breakfast too?” Younghyun asked timidly. Jae nodded as he hoisted Younghyun off the couch. Younghyun latched onto him from behind and walked in between his legs towards the kitchen. Jae made some eggs quickly and threw some toast together. It was hard to pull Younghyun from his back and ask him to sit in his own chair. 

Jae spoke while Younghyun had bread in his mouth - only because he couldn’t respond - “you’re not making my anxiety and depression worse. Those are genetic factors exacerbated by other biopsychosocial means. You are not one of them, Hyunnie. College is one of them, work is a big one, missing my family is creeping up on me. I’ve been thinking about our arguments from when the kids were here and I wanna go back.” Younghyun looked up at Jae with wide eyes, shocked that Jae had finally changed his mind. “Don’t give me that look.” Jae took a bite of his eggs, successfully dropping the subject. 

Younghyun attached himself to Jae while they brushed their teeth and changed into pajamas. When they crawled into bed, Jae adjusted Younghyun so he fit perfectly against Jae’s. The younger man sighed happily and snuggled closer already falling asleep in Jae’s arms. “Good night, I love you, Younghyun.” 

“Night, I love you too, Jae-hyung.” It wasn’t perfect right away, but it wasn’t declining anymore. Jae smiled and hugged Younghyun closer, falling asleep himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEAVILY influenced by the new bangers on the new album! Let me know which songs you think I used the most in this chapter. 
> 
> twitter: @someclicheusrnm come shout at me anytime I need new friends


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Mentions of the pandemic, so if you don't read about it you might want to skip this chapter.

Bambam knew all kids needed a routine, but his four children have been stuck at home with two extra cousins and without a second parent for the past month. This wasn’t their routine and he had to give them props for cooperating with him. They found a new routine, one with altered bedtimes because Minho stayed up later so Changbin should too, one with simplified math and Korean lessons because Bambam stuttered over characters just as much as Hyunjin, one that made Yugyeom’s office space a recording studio for the oldest boys so they didn’t disturb Bambam while he worked. 

Bambam sat in bed, struggling to keep his eyes open, as he waited for Yugyeom to call him. This was Bambam’s new routine - waiting for Yugyeom’s ICU or emergency room shift to end so they could facetime or, when Yugyeom was too tired to fake a smile, call. Bambam looked at the clock, 1:47. Yugyeom’s shift had ended 17 minutes ago, he could drive back to Youngjae’s house in five. So what was taking him so long?

Bambam startled when his phone rang, it was much too loud for two in the morning. He picked it up and slid the green little button. “Hey, baby.” 

“Good morning, Yugs. How was the shift?” The answer wasn’t going to be honest but it was part of his routine - Bambam craved normalcy just as much as his kids. Yugyeom responded about how he just rushed through rounds 

“How about you? Everything good at the house?” 

Yugyeom sounded exhausted. It was a bad day at the hospital again. Usually when bad days happened - not often but not rare - Yugyeom would come home after the kids had fallen asleep and seek out Bambam. The older man would wrap him up in a hug until the doctor was ready to move again. Bambam would force him into the shower and gently scrape at his scalp while the taller man washed his body. Sometimes they’d talk about it, but Yugyeom had to be the one to start that kind of conversation. 

Bambam couldn’t do that for him right now. He felt so downtrodden and helpless, especially when he had to give Yugyeom bad news. “The maknae has a fever, Gyeommie” 

Yugyeom was silent on the other end of the phone. “I didn’t notice until bath time and I don’t know how long he’s had it. I’m so sorry,” Bambam fiddled his fingers waiting for Yugyeom’s response. 

There was a sigh and an inhale, “keep him in his room, check everyone’s temps in the morning for the next week or so. If he starts coughing or having trouble breathing I’ll-” Yugyeom stopped. He really couldn’t do anything unless he drove here and took Hyunjin to the hospital. There was another sigh. 

“It could be a regular cold or the flu. Just keep an eye on him. Was it a high or low fever?” Low. It had still been low when Bambam took it at bedtime. “Then we shouldn’t worry too much, baby. He’ll be okay, Bammie. Repeat that back to me, baby.” 

“He’ll be okay. Hyunjinnie’s fine,” Bambam sounded more convinced than Yugyeom. 

“Alright, baby. Get some rest, you have two more kids than usual and a sick one to deal with tomorrow. I’ll update Youngjae in the morning.” They exchanged ‘I love you’s and ‘goodnight’s before hanging up. As worried as Bambam was, the stress and tiredness of the door had him out like a light within five minutes. 

\----

Yugyeom had already made three mistakes in his rounds, for that reason he was triple checking every patient on his triage list. The resident following him around finally mustered the courage to ask him what was wrong. “My maknae’s sick.” Yugyeom responded curtly as he replaced the saline drip connected to his patient. Chaeyoung frowned and followed Yugyeom out of the room. She placed a hand on his shoulder to stop him from walking so fast. 

“You should go see them, then.” 

“And get him sicker?! How can I, Chaeyoung? Give me one way I can see them without hurting Hyunjinnie! Or any of the other kids! It’s hard enough on them that I’m missing, imagine how they’d feel if they saw me but couldn’t hug me or kiss me or play with them.” 

Chaeyoung was not expecting him to blow up in the middle of their unit, but the anger had quickly fizzed out into crying. She maneuvered him so they were headed to the lounge where he could collect himself. 

Yugyeom had only used two kleenex to wipe his eyes and blow his nose a few times, successfully calmed down. Chaeyoung placed her hand on Yugyeom’s knee, “Windows, you could use a window to see Hyunjinnie - or all your kids in fact.” She was met with a large smile on Yugyeom’s face. 

\----

“Appa’s home! Appa’s home!” multiple little children were screaming and chasing each other around the house. Bambam was bewildered as he stepped out of Hyunjin’s room. He didn’t understand how Dowoon and Wonpil were the only kids awake just ten minutes ago. His phone started to vibrate and he saw Yugyeom’s face light up the screen. 

“Kim Yugyeom, why are all five children running around like chicken with their heads cut off?” 

“I’m waiting outside the window. The kids can’t hear me so if you could join them we can talk.” Bambam made his way to the couches to see Yugyeom waving through the window. “Hi babies!” The kids looked to Bambam, startled by Yugyeom’s voice on the phone, and then back to continue waving at their father. 

They spent two hours catching up, laughing and giggling into fits on the couch. As a family again. Bambam’s face hurt from smiling so much. “Alright, kiddos. I need you guys to go play in your rooms while Appa takes a look at Hyunjinnie.” 

All the children began talking over each other, complaining that the maknae couldn’t play with them anymore. Regardless, they all left for their rooms. “Okay, baby. You can bring Hyunjinnie out and I’ll check on him.” 

Bambam left his phone on the window sill to grab their maknae. He was still asleep when Bambam picked him out of his bed. It was a struggle but the two made it outside in one piece. Yugyeom had put on a mask and gloves before he took Hyunjin in his own arms. “Has he lost weight?” 

Bambam nodded as Yugyeom started to check Hyunjin’s temperature. “It’s still a low fever so I’m not worried. Has he complained about anything else?” 

“He’s coughing and sleeping a lot, but he can keep down food and I’m really pushing the fluids onto him.” Yugyeom complimented Bambam on his nursing skills. They sat on the porch for a few minutes, just listening to Hyunjin’s deep breaths and watching the sun slowly set. “Everything is winding down at the hospital - some of the superiors are figuring we could come back home soon. Obviously we’d have to clean more and I’d take showers immediately after coming home, but we could make that work.”

Bambam’s mouth hung open. “Yes, we can make that work. We’re going to have to ‘cause I miss you like hell. Does that mean that Dowoon and Minho can go home too?” Yugyeom just nodded, his eyes were slightly closed so he must have been smiling. Bambam was smiling too. 

“I’ll keep you updated Bammie. Now, take the maknae back, give him another bath, and keep doing what you’re doing. Hyunjinnie will be fine.” Both Kims were more confident in saying that their youngest was okay than they had two nights before. 

\----

Hyunjin’s fever had broken the next night and Yugyeom moved back in two weeks later. Everyone was so excited to see their father and uncle. Then the cousins had to leave and there were some tears. Changbin was clinging to Minho when Youngjae knocked on the front door. But after a half hour of goodbyes, all the kids' attention turned to Yugyeom. 

Dinner was normal. Watching TV was normal. Bedtime routine was normal. Goodnight kisses were normal. As Bambam was brushing his teeth next to Yugyeom he let out a relieved sigh and slumped against the wall. “You okay, babe?” 

“I’ve just missed you so much, Yugs. I don’t know how I did it,” Bambam started to cry. Yugyeom hushed him as he brought Bambam’s lithe body into his arms. “I can’t do it on my own,” Bambam kept trying to talk into Yugyeom’s chest. Yugyeom pried the toothbrush out of his husband’s hand and placed it on the counter, then he led Bambam to their bed. 

They climbed onto it, Bambam in Yugyeom’s lap and covered by the comforter. Yugyeom cried with him, nuzzled into Bambam’s shoulder. “Appa? Is Phorn alright?” 

Yugyeom lifted his head to see Hyunjin’s wide, worried eyes glazing back and forth between his fathers. He was cautiously walking to the bed, he didn’t want to disrupt his parents if they didn’t want him there. But as soon as Yugyeom said, “oh, come here, baby,” Hyunjin was pitter-pattering over. He crawled under Bambam and settled his chubby little hands on his phorn’s cheeks. 

“Don’t cry, appa’s back. Appa loves us. He came back.” Hyunjin had tears building up in his eyes and Yugyeom hugged him without taking him away from Bambam. “Phorn!” another little voice added to the room. Wonpil stood at the door, again waiting for permission to join them. They came running when Bambam outstretched his arm still in tears. 

They said the same thing, “appa’s back, don’t cry.” Changbin didn’t need permission - he strutted right into the room and clambered up onto the bed - he pushed his way right into Yugyeom’s lap. “Appa. You can’t leave again.” His voice was low and Yugyeom promised. 

“I’m never leaving you boys again. You’re my world and your crazy antics make it spin. I missed you and Phorn so, so, so, so much, babies. Never. You’re stuck with me forever.” 

He was handed a book, he immediately knew which book Hyunjin was asking him to read. Hyunjin moved to sit in Bambam’s lap and Wonpil snuggled into Yugyeom’s stomach. Yugyeom opened the book and began to read, already changing the words to fit his own lifestyle. 

“A father held his new baby and very slowly rocked him back and forth,” Bambam took Hyunjin in his arms and rocked him, “back and forth, back and forth, and while he held him, he sang ‘I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I’m living my baby you’ll be.’ 

“The baby grew. He grew and he grew and he grew. He grew until he was two years old, and he ran all around the house. He pulled all the books off the shelves. He pulled all the food out of the refrigerator and he took his father’s watch and washed it down the toilet. Sometimes his father would say, ‘This kid is driving me crazy!’” 

Yugyeom had whispered the last line into Changbin’s ear and set off small giggles. Yugyeom turned the page and continued, “But at night time, when that two-year-old was quiet, he opened the door to his room, crawled across the floor, looked up over the side of his bed and if he was really asleep he picked him up and rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth.” It was Changbin’s turn to be rocked in his father’s arms. Bambam took up the song the father in the book sang. 

“The little boy grew. He grew and he grew and he grew. He grew until he was nine years old. And he never wanted to come in for dinner, he never wanted to take a bath, and when the uncles visited he always said bad words.” Changbin got a boop to the nose, “sometimes his father wanted to sell him to the zoo!”

Bambam read the next page but he let Yugyeom sing the four line chorus. “The boy grew. He grew and he grew and he grew. He grew until he was a teenager. He had strange friends and he wore strange clothes and he listened to strange music.” Wonpil got a look from Bambam as Yugyeom read the last sentence, “Sometimes the father felt like he was in a zoo.”

“That teenager grew. He grew and he grew and he grew. He grew until he was a grown-up man. He left home and got a house across town. But sometimes on dark nights the father got into his car and drove across town. If all the lights in his son's house were out, he opened his bedroom window, crawled across the floor, and looked up over the side of his bed. If that great big man was really asleep he picked him up and rocked him back and forth,” Wonpil was rocking Changbin in his arms. 

Everyone but Wonpil was falling asleep, “Well, that father, he got older. He got older and older and older. One day he called up his son and said, ‘You’d better come see me because I’m very old and sick.’ So his son came to see him. When he came in the door he tried to sing the song. He sang: I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you forever … 

“But he couldn’t finish because he was too old and sick.” Wonpil was the one crying now as he read the last two pages. “The son went to his father. He picked him up and rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And he sang this song: ‘I’ll love you forever, I’ll live you for always, As long as I’m living my phorn and appa you’ll be.’

“When the son came home that night, he stood for a long time at the top of the stairs. Then he went into the room where his very new baby daughter was sleeping.” He sang the song one last time, rocking Changbin and lulling him to sleep completely. Bambam wiped the tears from the teen’s eye and started to shift all his children to a more comfortable position to sleep. 

He grabbed Wonpil to pull him closest to him and hugged him. “I love you,” Bambam said to all of the bodies in the bed with him, only getting a response from Yugyeom and Wonpil. That was enough for him to fall asleep happily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the family angst/fluff! I always appreciate comments and kudos <33333
> 
> Until next time!


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Overuse of the word 'mommy' but I have no regrets. <3

Mark knew he had made a mistake the moment Jackson called him. He answered the phone with a small “hey, Jiaer.” He got a muffled scream in response. 

“So you’re not on a fucking plane right now?” Mark could imagine Jackon’s furrowed brow and gritted teeth. “I told you to come home yesterday. I told you to come home a week ago, Mark!” Jackson was getting louder the longer he talked to Mark. “How dare you decide to stay away.” 

Mark waited for more yelling and screaming. He understood why Jackson was upset, aggravated, and angry but Mark didn’t see this as his fault. Mark came to the States for business, Mark had agreed with Jackson a month before that he should visit his family, Mark wasn’t the person in charge of borders. He also couldn’t get a flight to Korea on such short notice. 

So now he was stuck in his parents’ house and Jackson was stuck with their four children in a different country. Mark had called Jinyoung yesterday and sobbed for hours in his living room. When he had gotten off the phone with his best friend, his mother poked her head in. “I made you some food, Mark-ah. It’s ready when you are,” she left as quietly as she came with no mention of his tear tracks. 

As Jackson was screaming at him, Mark felt like he wanted to cry again. “Jackson! Stop, please.” Mark pleaded while his husband took a breath. He didn’t continue so Mark took the chance to speak. “I don’t want to be here, please trust me when I say I want to be with you and the kids. I’m so worried about Felix because this isn’t his regular lifestyle and he needs structure. Jae and Chan’s anxiety are going to go through the roof, especially with me not there. I know these things about my children and I know things about myself and I know these things about you. Right now we need each other. 

“So, Jackson, stop yelling at me and take my feelings into consideration. If you have nothing else to talk about then you can hang up and let me get back to sleep. If you want to apologise and continue an actual conversation then I will walk downstairs and get a cup of coffee so I’m awake enough to pay attention to my loving husband.”

There was a sigh on the other end of the phone, “I forgot it’s only 5 there. Sorry, babe. I didn’t think about how this will affect you and I shouldn’t have yelled at you.” Mark forgave him as he got out of bed. He put on his slippers and told Jackson to talk about his day while he got his coffee and headed to the backyard. 

Mark had just placed his feet in the pool when he heard a quiet “is that mommy?” The voice sounded like Chan and a moment later, his suspicions were confirmed when Jackson passed the phone. “Mommy, daddy said you’d be home soon. How soon is now?” 

Mark felt his heart shatter at Chan’s question. He didn’t know how to tell his little six-year-old that his mommy wasn’t going to be home for a while. “Mommy, are you crying?” Chan’s frail voice cracked with concern for Mark. And then it hit him, “oh, you’re not coming home.” 

“Sweetheart, do you remember when you had to go back to Australia and Mommy and Daddy couldn’t come with you and Felix? It’s kind of like that. Mommy’s stuck in his home country and can’t come back to you guys until the government says I can.” 

Mark knew he was using big words but Chan was a smart little cookie. “I’ll tell Lixie that, Mommy.” Chan was going to explain it better to his younger brother the best. Mark sniffled and wiped his eyes, “thank you, Channie. Mommy appreciates it so much. Can you give Daddy the phone back?” 

There was some shuffling and Jackson’s voice was heard again. He thanked Mark for explaining it well and continued talking about how their week at home has been. Mark was grateful for Jackson filling the silence while he sipped his coffee and tried to collect himself. 

Jae and Younghyun were celebrating the move to online learning, even offering to help Chan with his schoolwork. Felix was already getting frustrated when his brothers and father slept in, the five-year-old was spending more time bothering Jae for cuddles and Younghyun for food and Chan for English. Mark made a mental note to talk to Felix later in a fake Aussie accent to cheer him up. 

“He doesn’t want to talk to you in English?” Mark asked absentmindedly. “Nope, Chan decided he wants to learn Madarin this week and the rest of them are just tired of him being a show off.” 

Mark giggled as he kicked his feet in the water, “you mean my little Channie, my little smartie pants, is being a show off? I’m surprised he didn’t ask you to teach him how to mix beats.” There was a tired sigh with a little follow-up chuckle. 

Jackson had to end the call to make sure Jae was actually sleeping. “He’s been reading books and I keep telling him that he’ll ruin his eyes.” Mark understood, many nights he found Jae reading with a flashlight under his blanket. But that’s why Jae was already wearing big circle glasses with thick lenses. 

Mark let him go and set down his phone. He watched the wind make small waves in the pool, lapping at the top of his knees and emitting a soothing noise. He heard his phone begin the notes of Jinoyung’s latest drama song. “Nyongie, it’s almost eleven o’ clock. What are you still doing up?” 

“I’m just checking up on you, honey. You were really distraught yesterday about the flights being cancelled.” Mark was agreeing but assured Jinyoung that he was better now. They talked about Jinyoung and Jaebeom’s crazy day with three five year olds. Mark’s cackling must have woken up his younger brother - he came out on the patio and gathered Mark’s coffee cup while handing him a plate of food. 

Mark pulled his feet out of the pool. After Jinyoung yawned for the fifth time in a minute, Mark told him goodbye and hung up. He moved to the table outside and ate his breakfast. He let the sun shine on him for a while before his mother called him into the house. 

\----

They were three months in and Felix was refusing to talk to him. “Momma, he just doesn’t understand it. Try not to take it personally. Are you safe?” Jae - coming from LA and keeping in touch with his biological family - always knew what was happening in the States. He worried for his father, in the first week Mark had gotten harassed for being Asian (Mark promised his mother that he’d always do the grocery shopping from then on), but Jae was always there to listen. 

“Momma, are you safe?” Jaehyung was being insistent. “I’m okay, Jae. We’re staying in and avoiding riots and still have a curfew here. Grandpa Tuan recommended we get our groceries delivered, I didn't even know that was an option.” He heard his teenager scoff and let out a huff that could resemble a laugh. 

“Momma, can you sing me a song?” Jae hadn’t asked Mark to sing for him in years. It used to be a tradition, Mark would sing in a hotel room to slowly lull Jae asleep. Mark’s favourite song to sing was Miracle; it was mostly written by Jinyoung and was on a JJProject album. “Of course I can sing for you, baby. Any special requests?” 

“Hug, please.” 

“Sweetheart, isn’t it like 10 in the morning there?” Mark didn’t know if his time conversions were correct but it wasn’t late at night in Korea. “It is. I took the night shift on taking care of Channie.”

Mark tilted his head, then he remembered that he was talking on the phone, “what’s up with Channie?” 

Jae told him that Chan had another bout of strep throat, nothing too much to worry about. But it was the only thing on Mark’s mind as he sang for Jae. He listened closely after the third refrain for the even, deep breathing. Mark hung up the phone and went downstairs to begin making dinner for his family members. 

As he was chopping the vegetables he found himself singing Chan’s latest masterpiece. The six-year-old had been humming a melody in their last phone call - obviously the strep throat developing didn’t hinder the child’s musical inclination - and the few note pattern wouldn’t disappear from his head. 

“I’ll be sure to tell my favourite grandson you’ve been singing his song constantly. It’s a pretty melody,” Ray was leaning against the counter with a water bottle in his hand and the dog at his heels. “Thanks for making dinner, Mark. Joey would never!” 

Mark nodded and went back to chopping. “I’ll tell Chris that his favourite cheerleader is still rooting for him. Younghyun was upset that he couldn’t watch Joey’s livestreams. Jacks is really struggling with all four of them.” Ray let out a little breath of air, gearing up to ask some questions. 

Mark looked over his shoulder and felt the knife cut him before he whipped his head back to see the blood. He let out a pained gasp, dropping the knife, rushing over to the sink, and carefully washing the large gash on his hand. “Mark! I was just complimenting you,” Ray was laughing from his little corner of the kitchen. 

“Now is NOT the time dad,” Mark gritted out as he added soap to the wound. A few explicit words left his mouth when he wrapped paper towels around his hand. It took fifteen minutes for the bleeding to stop, Mark was thankful his dad took over the kitchen. 

Later in the night he took a picture of the wound and sent it to the family group chat. After a few minutes, Jackson was calling him. “Mommy!” a crying voice answered the phone. “Lixie?” Mark was surprised to hear his soft-spoken maknae sobbing into the cell phone. 

“Mommy hurt! Mommy!” Felix wasn’t getting much out but Mark had to calm him down somehow. “Where’s Daddy, Lixie?” Jackson was probably making them lunch at the moment. “Lixie, accept the video call, baby.” 

Felix’s red face popped up on the screen and his crying intensified. “Mooooommmmmmy!” The youngest wailed, Mark hoped someone would hear his little boy and comfort him. Mark could only do so much through the phone. 

His prayers were answered when Jackson came into view as well. He scooped Felix into his arm and tried to calm him down. The tears were wiped away and no more took their place after twenty minutes of soft kisses and cuddles. “Hey, honey, can you explain why Felix got so worked up?” Jackson looked to Mark for the first time. 

“I messed up my hand, sent a picture of the cut in the groupchat, I don’t even know how he got to your phone, Jacks. He must have seen it though cause he kept crying about me being hurt.” Jackson let out a quiet ‘ah’ and explained that Felix was playing on his phone while he made lunch. 

“Sweetheart, look. Mommy’s fine. He’s not hurt, I promise, baby.” Jackson was playing with Felix’s hair to direct his attention to Mark. They talked for a few more minutes and told Mark ‘good night’ when both parents were sure the maknae would remain calm. “Bye, baby boy. I love you!” Mark said as he blew kisses to his phone. 

\----

Every week, like clockwork, Felix and another family member would call Mark before bedtime. Felix wanted to make sure Mark’s hand was healing. Mark thought it was the sweetest thing he’s ever seen a five-year-old do. After six weeks the wound was fully closed - just a few scabs here and there - and Mark was afraid Felix would go back to ignoring him. But he didn’t, his youngest child would sit and look at Mark for hours. 

Felix never really talked, but he loved to listen. He listened to Mark sing and read books and play kid-friendly video games. He understood the Korean and English Mark would switch back and forth from. Little interjections of “oh” and “ah” left the little boy's mouth to let Mark know he was still awake and listening. 

“Lixie, listen to Mommy.” Felix’s eyes focused on Mark and his barely-there eyebrows lifted, “Mommy can’t answer your call next week. I’ll be busy, understand?” Felix nodded and ended the call abruptly. Mark could only laugh.

\----

“Thank you,” Mark said to the driver as he opened the door. He grabbed his suitcase and shut the door carefully - he didn’t want to seem rude to the taxi driver. Mark was just so excited to see his family again. Nine months without them felt like ninety years. 

He got to the front door and unlocked it, he was met with the best sight. Four (not so little) bodies were already huddled in the living room waiting for him. He had missed all of their birthdays, they had grown so tall. “Come here, babies,” Mark said with his arms outstretched. 

He was warm, safe, and home. They wasted no time in catching up and celebrating all the birthdays and holidays they couldn’t before. The kids mostly wanted to just watch movies and eat junk food, Jackson and Mark gladly allowed it. 

“Mommy,” Chan pulled at Mark’s sweater to get his attention, “don’t ever leave for that long again. Daddy said he would get us a puppy or a baby sibling if you did.” Mark sent a glare to Jackson on the other couch before assuring Chan that he’d never be gone that long. “I love you too much to be gone that long, baby.” And for the fifth time that day, Mark was weighed down by his family in a group hug.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you thought of this chapter in the comments! I love to hear from each and every one of you <3
> 
> Also! I might write one for JJ Family so if you want that, lemme know. I think this was the fastest I've ever written a chapter and I'm so proud of myself.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we're back again with more Markson family but more focused on Jackson and the kids, Enjoy! <3

Jackson couldn’t remember the last time he celebrated his birthday without Mark. But as he sat up in his bed - a bed far too cold to his liking - he realised that everything had a first. Jackson couldn’t cry, he wouldn’t allow himself to miss his husband, because if he cried he wouldn’t stop. His kids would notice and then they’d be sad all day and Jackson didn’t want that for them. 

When Jackson made his way down to the kitchen, he was surprised to see his two eldest sons cooking breakfast. Jackson’s morning coffee was sitting on the table waiting for him. Jae had turned around at the sound of the chair moving, “I thought you were Channie, morning Baba.” 

So Jae and Younghyun knew how he felt today. They only called him baba when they didn’t feel good or when they knew Jackson was upset. “Morning, kid,” Jackson sipped his coffee and sighed. “Thanks for the coffee, Jae.” 

There was no reply but he heard Jae and Younghyun talking to each other about breakfast. Younghyun walked off to the bedrooms, Jackson hoped Felix was in a cuddly mood. Otherwise he’d have to fold Chan in half to be comfortable. “So, what do you want to do today?” Jae asked as he placed food in front of Jackson. 

“I’m thinking movies, music, and naps.” Jae nodded and brought more plates to the table. “Sounds fun. When do you want presents?” Jackson lifted his eyebrows, shocked that they had gifts for him. The question went unanswered as Chan ran into the room. “Happy birthday, Daddy!” 

“Thank you, love,” Jackson stretched his arms out and Chan jumped right in. He watched with a smile on his face as Chan picked up chopsticks and wolfed down food. Jackson opened his mouth and started nibbling on Chan’s ear. “Oh, Channie, you better feed Daddy or he’s gonna eat you up.” 

Giggles erupted from the children and chopsticks were shoved into Jackson’s face. He gladly ate the food and left Chan alone. “Can I have coffee too, Daddy?” Chan asked in a high voice while showing off his missing baby teeth with a smile. 

“Of course,” Jackson started saying. Chan reached for the mug, “not.” Jackson finished as he grabbed the cup from the seven-year-old. “You have ten more years, little guy.” Chan pouted until Younghyun got him some juice. 

\----

“Lixie, it’s time to get up,” Jackson sang as he walked into their youngest’s room. The brunet lifted his head from the pillow and rubbed his eyes wearily. “Don’t feel good, daddy,” Jackson frowned, walking closer to Felix. He sat on Felix’s bed and felt his forehead. He was a little warm - Jackson couldn’t discern if it was from not feeling good or from sleeping under the twelve blankets Jae had tucked him in with - and his neck looked swollen. 

“Does your throat hurt?” Jackson received a nod, “can you open your mouth for me, baby?” Felix slowly moved so he could open his mouth. The youngest in their family seemed to be prone to bronchitis, strep, and other viruses that targeted the throat for some unknown reason. Just as Jackson suspected, Felix’s tonsils had little white dots on them. They were swollen as well. 

“Oh, poor baby, you have tonsillitis again.” Felix sighed and stuffed his face into his pillow. The last time he had tonsillitis he had to drink nasty medicine and Mark hovered over him all hours of the day. Now Mark wasn't here to baby him and Felix wanted to throw a tantrum. “I know,” Jackson said in sympathy as he pet Felix’s hair. “We’ll go make some warm milk for you, kay, sweetheart?” 

Jackson lifted Felix into his arm, making sure at least one blanket was wrapped around his little body. Felix whined at something and Jackson looked around the bed. He spotted the scented lamb stuffed animal and dropped it into Felix’s hands. “Smells good, doesn’t it?” Jackson had washed it and placed a new scent pack in it (the scent was Mark’s favourite and Jackson wanted Felix to have a reminder of his other father) before bedtime. 

They quickly got settled on the couch with warm milk and honey to watch movies as a family. It didn’t take long for Felix, Chan, and Younghyun to fall asleep. Even Jae was drifting off to sleep next to Younghyun. Jackson shifted to be more comfortable, still making sure Felix was asleep, and focused on the movie. 

Jackson woke up to three voices singing “Happy Birthday” to him and Felix carefully holding a small cake. Jackson smiled as he kissed his children’s hair in thanks. They happily ate their cake and turned on music. Chan asked for a dance party - something simple to keep the mood up - he didn’t wait for a response though and started jumping around the living room. 

Everyone joined in, Felix was being softly swayed by Younghyun. After a half an hour, Chan slowly stopped jumping from couch to couch. Within an hour, the dance party was over and the sweaty mess that was now Chan laid on the tiled floor. 

They filled the rest of the day with a short Mandarin lesson, making homemade dumplings, and colouring in their “Mommy Diary”. Chan had come up with the idea, a journal full of what they did every day with pictures to accompany. Mark could look through it and see what he missed. 

In Jackson’s opinion, he didn’t miss a lot. For the past three weeks, he’s been trying to work from home while becoming a full-time parent as well. Team Wang was almost self-sufficient and had taken to writing and producing more songs than recording and promoting their artists. It was an executive decision that most of their artists agreed with. But Jackson was also part of the writing and producing team. 

Felix was the son that interrupted him the most. Jackson knew those interruptions were only going to increase now that he’s sick. Jackson missed when Felix was a baby, he had been the quietest baby and was easily carried. He had been their only baby - so there was nothing to compare him to - but Jackson wanted another baby. 

Jackson looked down from his computer monitor, the vibrating of his phone pulling his attention away from work. “Hey, babe. How’s sunny California?” 

“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear Wang-gae! Happy birthday to you!” Mark’s deep voice sang through the phone. Jackson smiled and thanked Mark. “Did you get my gift?” 

Jackson had gotten Mark’s gift, a large box of chocolates and a black velvet band with Wang-Tuan in gold lettering, and it almost made him cry. “Yes, I did. And I almost cried in front of the kids.” Mark scoffed and giggled at him, but said nothing else. 

“Hey, babe. Not that I don’t love you, ‘cause I do, but I have to go and check up on the kids. Younghyun keeps stealing phones to listen to music at night." Jackson said his good nights and goodbyes before hanging up. 

Just as he suspected, Younghyun had Jae’s phone and earbuds beside him. He was already fast asleep, so Jackson gently detached them and pocketed the devices. He adjusted the blanket around Younghyun’s shoulder, pulling it tighter. 

He walked the short steps to Jae’s room and through the crack he could see a little sliver of light. “Jaehyung,” Jackson whispered before entering the room. The light clicked off suddenly and a body thudded onto the bed. “I know you’re awake. And reading. What have Mom and I said about reading in the dark?” 

A head peeked out from under the blanket, “not to do it. It’s bad for my eyes and I already have poor sight.” Jae said the words in the most monotonous way, like reciting a script he’s known for years. 

“Exactly, baby. You’re straining your eyes and it’s not good for you. If you insist on reading past your bedtime just use your lamp. I’d be less concerned about you.” Jae mumbled something under his breath, Jackson turned on the lamp and kissed Jae’s forehead. “Night, baby. Thanks for celebrating my birthday with me.” 

Chan was fast asleep when Jackson got to his room. Nevertheless, Jackson made sure he was tucked into his sheets. His dog stuffed animal, similar to Felix’s lamb, smelled like honey and Jackson prayed he wouldn’t have to wash it. Chan was more attached to the animal than his younger brother. 

Felix was awake and out of bed when Jackson rounded the corner. “Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” 

“Don’t feel good, Daddy,” Felix whined out. “Still?” Jackson chuckled lightly as he picked up Felix. “Wanna sleep with Daddy tonight? Might make you feel better.” Jackson suggested. Once again he was gathering blankets and stuffed animals for Felix and taking him to his own room. Felix insisted on stuffing his face in Jackson’s bare stomach, but the father just wanted him to sleep so he let him. He barely remembered Mark telling him that toddlers liked skin-to-skin contact just as much as babies as he fell asleep. 

\----

September was a hard month for the Wang-Tuans. Jae refused to come out of his room and he only allowed Younghyun into it. Not even Felix could come in. The maknae had sat against the wall for six hours - doing nothing - and waited for Jae or Younghyun to come out. Jackson could only guess why Jae was isolating himself; three of their birthdays were in September. 

In the past, they’d celebrate each week. Mark came first and they’d ‘party like Americans’ on the weekend. That included a large cake topped with too-sweet frosting, hamburgers seared on a grill, and loud music on the patio while a bonfire burned - even after a handsome helping of cake the kids would insist on making s’mores. 

Felix and Jae shared a birthday, but they liked to give each of them their own week to celebrate. There wasn’t a big difference between an ‘American’ birthday and an ‘Australian’ birthday but one thing Chan and Felix looked forward to was the fairy bread. It had taken the first two years after being adopted for Mark to perfect his recipe of sweetbread and too many sprinkles. Jae wanted the more traditional Korean birthday with seaweed soup and noodles to celebrate another year passing. 

It broke Jackson’s heart to see Felix weeping outside Jae’s door for hours before the eldest came out and scooped him up. Felix hadn’t asked for fairy bread. Jae didn’t want seaweed soup. Jae doesn’t want any kind of food right now, Jackson reminded himself while chopping vegetables. “This reminds me of that one song, Daddy,” Chan said from his seat at the table. Jackson had no idea what he meant but he knew Mark would have understood the reference. 

The birthday boys skipped dinner and Jackson begged Younghyun and Chan to persuade them to eat. It wasn’t healthy to stop eating and drinking. Jackson was seriously getting worried. Younghyun had reassured him that Jae was okay, just taking Mark’s absence pretty hard. As he was packing up the leftovers from dinner, Jackson prayed Chan didn’t isolate himself during October. 

\----

“Jiaer!” Mark was singing into the phone when Jackson picked up. “Yes, Yien?” 

And then Jackson got the best news ever. “I have a flight home.” He cried, he didn’t even ask Mark when it was or how he got it. “I have to go pack, but don’t tell the kids. I want it to be a surprise.” Jackson agreed and hung up so Mark could pack. 

“Jae! Hyunnie! Channie! Haengbokkie!” Jackson called from the living room. He heard all four sets of feet running towards him from different parts of the house. Felix, on his little tiny legs, came around the corner first and Jackson opened his arms. He was happy when Felix jumped onto him like a koala. 

When all the children were circled around him he said, “let’s go play in the snow. We can call all our friends and build forts and then have a snowball fight. How does that sound?” Jackson saw the thrilled look in their eyes and felt Felix wriggle in excitement. “Okay, babies. Let’s get into warm clothes and head out.” 

Felix reached out to Jae and Jackson knew he’d have to check how many layers the oldest put on their maknae - he was more protective and overbearing than the two parents sometimes. He pulled out his phone and told the groupchat their plans. Almost immediately responses flooded in about needing to get out of the house. (Jinyoung made a rather nasty comment about his triplets wanting to kill him if they watched one more children's cartoon.)

Chan was overjoyed to see Minho, running as fast as he could - the thick padding and feet of snow making it harder - to get to him and hug. Minho pressed sloppy kisses to their cheeks as they fell laughing in the snow. Felix clung to Dowoon, first his legs then his torso once the tall pre-teen picked him up. Wonpil was a little standoffish. But all it took was giggles from the triplets and Felix (with the help of Dowoon, of course) to throw some snowballs and get Wonpil to smile. 

After two hours of digging in the snow, throwing snowballs at each other, and making snow angels, all the children were called inside. Parents and older siblings helped the little ones get some layers off. Towels were tossed around to dry hair and warm up hands. New socks we placed on tiny little toddler feet and blankets were given to grabby hands. 

Jaebeom came into the living room as all of them were getting settled on couches and blankets. The hot chocolate smell took over and all of the children's heads turned. The mugs were passed out to each of them and a movie was turned on. The parents watched from the couches as their children snuggled and wasted time. Jackson knew they’d be this happy (probably even happier) when Mark came home tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> JJ Fam is next, I've already have half of it written so should be up in one or two days
> 
> Comment suggestions on what I should do next or what you like about the oneshots so far <33


	26. Chapter 26

Jinyoung and Jaebeom sat at the elder’s desk and stared at the computer screen. Jinyoung still was shocked at the email - he had read it at least five times expecting it to change. Jaebeom was rubbing his thumb across Jinyoung’s hand to soothe him. Jinyoung couldn’t tell if the motion was making him more or less nervous. 

Six months ago, the couple had agreed to film for Return of Superman and it had become part of their routine for the past three months. Jisung was enamoured with one particular cameraman while Seungmin and Jeongin couldn’t care less. The youngest triplet would be ecstatic to learn that they would be filming again, but Jinyoung couldn’t help but be a little paranoid. 

“-Young, Jinyoung,” Jinyoung looked at Jaebeom, he couldn’t remember when his husband grabbed his face, “hey, baby. Back with me?” Jinyoung lightly shook his head, ridding it of the fogginess that had spread while he thought about the worst that could happen. 

Jaebeom’s hand was in his hair, gently rubbing at his temple, “we can say no if you’re not comfortable.” The way Jaebeom had phrased that, ‘if you’re not comfortable.’ He didn’t like it. It made him seem like the bad guy if they had to tell their kids. Jinyoung hated being the bad guy. 

“Nyoungie, focus on me, sweetheart. Please, baby, focus on me,” Jaebeom looked so frightened. Jinyoung could see his husband’s eyes darken as Jinyoung took a shaky breath. He knew what was happening. Anxiety attack. 

It was rare; one occasion always stood out to him in regards to anxiety attacks. They had only had custody of the triplets for a couple of weeks and Jaebeom was laying on the couch with Jisung. The little baby was wriggling around in his sleep, Jaebeom was asleep and Jinyoung was in the kitchen making (attempting to at least) three bottles at once. 

From the kitchen, Jinyoung heard a thud and Jisung’s signature wail. He rushed to see Jaebeom and Jisung on the floor - both fine but slightly distressed - and began to panic. Jaebeom told him after the attack that he felt incredibly sorry. Between Jinyoung and Jisung, Jaebeom had picked the “perfectly fine baby when I should have comforted my panicked husband.” 

Jinyoung could tell this was a bad anxiety attack. It would take hours for him to calm down. Jaebeom should just leave him here in the study, with a scented candle lit and blanket wrapped around him, until Jinyoung got out of his own head. He could hear Jaebeom - it was muffled slightly - singing one of his favourite songs but couldn’t respond. 

Warm bodies were lifted into the seat and placed in Jinyoung’s arms. Three little bodies that belonged to his three-year-olds. Jinyoung tightened his grip on the soft pajamas and breathed in the strawberry scent of their shampoo. 

Jaebeom was smart, getting their sleepy children to ground him back to reality. He used his coping mechanisms, finding at least one thing of each sense. The coffee taste in his mouth, the feel of the fuzzy pajama, the smell of artificial strawberries, the sight of a blurry Jaebeom, the sounds of three-year-old speech impediments. 

Jaebeom’s singing began to make an actual melody in Jinyoung’s head, none of the muffled dissonance from earlier. Jinyoung looked down to see the triplets still dozing in his arms. He grinned at the sight of them, Jisung with his fingers in his mouth, Seungmin gently grabbing Jeongin’s thigh, and Jeongin in the middle of them attached to Jinyoung’s sleep shirt. Jinyoung looked back up at Jaebeom to see a similar smile on his husband’s face. 

‘Thank you,’ he mouthed as he adjusted his hold on the triplets. The family stayed like that for as long as they could. Seungmin eventually got fussy, shortly followed by his brothers. Jaebeom took two, leaving Jinyoung with the precious maknae. (It wasn’t a secret that Jinyoung had a favourite child (it was Jisung for sure) but he’d never admit it.) 

The rest of the day was relatively normal. Jinyoung sat happily on the sidelines as Jaebeom tried teaching some Korean characters to the triplets. Then he got to actively participate in their play-pretend photoshoot; Jeongin took care of lighting, Jisung clicked the toy camera to take pretend pictures, and Seungmin (arguably the most bossy of the three) directed the shoot with the help of Jaebeom. “Good mo-mo-model, Appa,” Jeongin struggled for the word. 

Bedtime was the same as usual. Jinyoung and Jaebeom acting out their favourite children’s book and softly singing them to sleep wouldn’t ever change._ Don’t ever change,_ Jinyoung pleaded in his head as he stroked the silky black locks of his triplets. Jaebeom took his hand and led him to their bedroom to go through their own night routine. __

_ _“Have you thought about resuming Superman?” Jaebeom was holding him tightly in his arms and Jinyoung melted into his husband. He only gave a nod as a reply. Jinyoung had thought about it all day, imagining their toddlers being filmed doing crazy antics. He had this idea in his head that maybe people would watch it and get a small respite from all the news about the virus and everything else wrong with the media. _ _

_ _Jinyoung would agree to do it, he just wanted one or two more days without the cameras. He’d tell Jaebeom later. Right now, Jinyoung just wanted to read his new novel and listen to Jaebeom’s humming as background music. _ _

_ _\----_ _

_ _Just as Jinyoung predicted, Jisung was ecstatic that his favourite cameraman was back. “Lee Taemin-ssi! You’re back,” Jisung poked his head into the house’s window and playfully greeted the camera man. Seungmin and Jeongin gave a polite bow before heading to the couch. Jinyoung chuckled as he brought each of them a cup of milk. _ _

_ _“Thank you, papa,” all three of them said at the same time. “What are we doing today?” _ _

_ _Jinyoung had some plans, “I think we should build a fort, then you can decorate it however you want.” That made Seungmin’s eyebrows lift in interest and Jisung actually looked at someone other than Lee Taemin. “Appa’s been saving cardboard boxes for us to use. Make sure you thank him when he wakes up,” Jinyoung left with Jeongin to haul the boxes to the open space of the living room. _ _

_ _Once again, Seungmin took the lead and bossed his siblings around to build the perfect fort. Jinyoung was very impressed to see the triplets rearranging boxes to make a literal house. He figured they’d put a few together and call it a day, but Seungmin’s three-year-old brain drew up a magnificent floor plan including five different rooms that came fully furnished. _ _

_ _Several times, Jinyoung was sent to get blankets and pillows and stuffed animals. He happily shuffled from room to room to gather supplies for the triplets. This was the busiest they’ve been since quarantine started and Jinyoung hoped this fort kept them occupied for days. Lunch came quicker than expected and Jisung - bless his sweet soul - told Jinyoung to prepare enough for the cameramen. “Especially Lee Taemin-ssi. He wants a sandwich, papa.” _ _

_ _Three wide smiles graced Jinyoung’s view when he came around the corner with a large stack of sandwiches. “Oh no, what did you guys do?” Jeongin giggled and Seungmin pointed to the boxes. _ _

_ _The boxes were covered in colours, pinks, blues, greens haphazardly scribbled about. There were a few lines on the floor but Jinyoung was able to wash it later. “Minnie, Innie, Sungie,” Jinyoung sang as he inspected the fort, “this looks wonderful. It smells good too!” _ _

_ _“That’s ‘cause Sungie used chocolate markers, papa!” Jinyoung moved back to ruffle the triplets’ hair to congratulate them on a successful fort. The sandwiches were passed out, Jisung gave one to “Lee Taemin-ssi!” but even his siblings gave sandwiches to the other cameramen. Jinyoung smiled and pressed kisses to their cheeks before switching off with Jaebeom. _ _

_ _\----_ _

_ _“Appa! Appa! Appa!” All of the triplets shouted (they acted like he hadn’t woken them up this morning with a thirty minute cuddle session). He picked all of them up as once and got slobbery kisses all over. “Are you like this with Papa?” Jaebeom barked out as he laughed. _ _

_ _They swung around until Jaebeom’s muscles were screaming, he had to put them down and opted for a movie as a calm activity. They all ended up asleep within the first twenty minutes. Jaebeom considered it a success. Jaebeom pulled out his laptop and worked on editing some photos. _ _

_ _The camera crew were quietly packing up so the toddlers stayed asleep. One of the tripods fell from where it was leaned against the wall and made a loud clattering sound. Jisung shot straight up - he was the only one that woke up, thankfully - and Jaebeom cast a glare at Lee Taemin-ssi. “No, no. Don’t go, please,” Jisung quietly whimpered when he realised the cameramen were leaving. _ _

_ _Jaebeom got up to hold Jisung, soothing him by rocking him back and forth, bouncing up and down. “Shh, baby, they have to go. Don’t you think they should go home to their own families?” Jaebeom thought this would make it easier for the crew to leave but it somehow didn’t. Jisung’s crying grew louder. _ _

_ _Jaebeom walked outside with a wailing Jisung clinging to his shoulder. “Papa wore you out and then your nap got interrupted. I’m so sorry, baby.” It was another five minutes before Jisung stopped screaming but the tears kept flowing. “You’re so tired, sweetheart. Just go back to sleep, Appa’s got you,” The hand not holding Jisung’s butt up moved to rub Jisung’s back. _ _

_ _Eventually the crying subsided and Jaebeom looked down to see his youngest son’s eyes struggling to stay open. “It’s okay, sweet boy, close your eyes.” Jisung let out a little whine and Jaebeom started singing._ _

_ _ _“I see the house over there, when the door opens, og when that door opens, you’ll open your arms and hug me. It won’t be a dream. I said I’m coming home, I’m coming home, baby. I said I’m coming home, I’m coming home, baby.”_ Jaebeom kept singing the chorus over and over again until Jisung’s eyes fully closed. __

_ _ _ _Jaebeom didn’t want to jostle him around so much, he looked around to see if Jinyoung still had a chair set up outside. There was only their old wooden swing but that would do. Jaebeom gently swung for hours - Jinyoung finally came to see what they were doing outside in the cloudy weather. He sat next to his husband, he didn’t even have to ask before Jaebeom spoke. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“I didn’t want him to throw a tantrum and wake the other boys up. He’s been asleep for a while now,” Jinyoung shuffled closer to him and wrapped his arms around the two. Somehow he found a way to put his chin on Jaebeom’s shoulder and rest it up against Jisung’s. “My baby would never throw a tantrum. He’s too sweet,” Jinyoung defended. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Both men laughed. “Where are the other babies?” _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Playpen, gave them all the soft toys and have the baby monitor on my hip.” Jaebeom kissed Jinyoung’s hair, inhaling the unique scent of Pantene shampoo. He was such a good husband and father. Sometimes Jaebeom felt inadequate; he didn’t come off as caring or as loving as Jinyoung, he didn’t like cooking or baking for the kids (with the kids it was fine), he felt like he worked too much and didn’t spend enough time with them. And watching Jinyoung with their children made him feel worse. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Technically, the triplets were his nephews, Jaebeom acted like an uncle (in his opinion) in crucial moments. It made him feel horrible. He wanted his kids to rely on him, knowing that he loved him unconditionally. But he sensed that it wasn’t the case. “Thank you for taking care of Sungie,” Jinyoung whispered into his neck. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“You always know how to calm all of us down, natural dad vibes, Beommie. It’s been a great two years.” Jaebeom hummed, preening at the praise. The negative thoughts he had rattling in his brain started to shrink. “Minnie just asked for an older sibling. Who does that?” Jinyoung was lightly laughing at himself. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“We could look for older kids to foster maybe,” Jaebeom suggested. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Maybe we will, they can’t be younger though. Jisungie is not meant to be a middle child. I just know it. He’s a maknae through and through,” Jinyoung said as he turned his head to place a kiss on Jaebeom’s jaw. Jaebeom also moved his head to give Jinyoung a real kiss. “I love you.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“I love you, too, baby.”_ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you tell I wrote this in two hours? I really like the idea that actor and former idols JJ fam are on Return of Superman. 
> 
> For my peeps that watch RoS, who's your favourite baby?? Mine's Haoh! He's so adorable!!! 
> 
> Leave any suggestions for later chapters in the comment <33333


	27. Chapter 27

Jackson and Mark weren’t first time parents but Felix was the first infant they adopted. The first three months went by in a breeze of little-to-no sleep, burning the inside of their wrists from too hot baby formula, and an overprotective older brother with boundary issues. They loved Chan with all their heart - they really do - but he was turning out to be as much of a parent as they were and he was still the tender age of 5. 

Mark and Jackson couldn’t really give Jae and Younghyun credit either. They were just as concerned with the baby as Chan was - countless times they asked to hold him or feed him or put him to bed. The brothers never wanted to change his diaper or give Felix a bath. No, god forbid they do the dirty jobs. 

That’s why the parents weren't surprised to find Jaehyung rocking Felix in the newly finished nursery. A bottle on the side table and the smell of baby powder heavy in the air told Jackson that their eldest son had been in here for a while. “He had a fever,” the preteen hushed out. Mark felt his heartbeat jump, his poor baby has a fever. 

“How bad?” Jackson was kneeling next to the rocking chair with a hand on Felix’s forehead. “Just 99.2. Still a very low grade level but we’ll monitor it to make sure it doesn’t rise. Anything above 100.5 is dangerous for infants.” Mark was glad Jae knew Farenheit, even after years of living in Korea he still couldn't understand temperatures in Celsius. 

“You’ve been spending so much time with Yugyeom. I’m worried you’ll become a doctor in the future.” Jae cooed at Felix as he shifted in the swaddle. One arm broke loose and waved around until Felix’s hand found Jackson’s and latched onto a finger. “That’s called attachment.” Jae pointed out. 

“We know, baby. We took classes - your dad’s a professor of child development.” Jae only nodded, still fully focussed on his baby brother. “Can I look at him Jae? He might need some Baby Tylenol or maybe antibiotics.” 

Jae told them that he already gave Felix Baby Tylenol for the fever, reminding his parents that having a fever actually helped fight any infection Felix might potentially have. Mark wondered when his eldest actually started acting like the eldest. Mark was handed Felix, tucking his hand back into the blanket. “Let’s go find out what you have, little one.” 

\----

“What’s strep-streptoc-cocus?” Chan asked, his head tilted like a curious puppy but worry was already culminating in his eyes. Jackson petted Chan’s hair and explained why Felix was sick. Not a big deal really - the baby was just going to be on antibiotics for a while and have a sore throat for longer. 

“We have to be even gentler with Lixie now, understand?” Chan and Younghyun nodded, Jae had dubbed himself part of the ‘parent team’ and told them how to take care of their baby brother. Maybe we should get Jae a puppy to take care of, Mark thought as he watched the eldest take the baby from his husband again. 

Younghyun took it upon himself to drag all of their blankets and make a sort of nest out of them. “Daddy, can we watch cartoons with Lixie? The American ones you made Jae and I watch.” Mark consented. He didn’t like letting the kids watch too many cartoons but they’re in English so at least his kids were learning something. 

Mark placed Felix in his brothers’ arms and turned on the t.v. for them. He left to grade essays but told the kids to get him (or Jackson) if anything went wrong with Felix. The baby was left in competent hands, Mark watched Jae almost yank Felix from Chan to make sure he was okay. 

\----

“Hyung,” Younghyun said in the middle of an episode, he waited for Jae to look at him. “Is it my imagination or does Felix have a rash?” Jae leaned closer to him and unzipped Felix’s onesie. Sure enough, small red bumps littered Felix’s chest and stomach, reaching all the way to his hands. Jae zipped the garment back up and took Felix from Younghyun. 

“Dad!” Jae shouted from the kitchen, he knew Mark was in his office but Jackson could be anywhere. He searched rooms until he found a parent. Jackson was in the laundry room folding clothes and bedding. “Hey, Dad, there’s been a development. Lix has got a rash,” Jae bounced Felix in his arms while he explained. 

“Well, Doctor Jae, what does that mean?” Jackson joked pushing the laundry basket away from him. 

“Scarlet fever.” Jae watched Jackson’s face fall and worry took over. 

\----

Felix fussed as Mark tried to feed him. A week ago they finally switched to an all solid diet and now he could barely keep water down. “I know, love, I know.” Mark placated. He looked over to see Chan and Younghyun watched Felix like a hawk. “He’s okay, boys. Just uncomfortable until the rash goes away.” 

Chan bit his lip before he asked a question. “Is he contagious?” 

Mark shook his head, Felix had been on antibiotics for five days now. The first three days they had kept him away from all the other kids (especially Chan, he was too young and susceptible.) It proved to be harder than expected, Younghyun was the sneakiest in trying to see Felix. He’d wait until everyone was asleep to slink into the nursery and hold his baby brother close. 

“You can hold him after I finish feeding him, kay?” He got twin nods and suddenly Jae was in the room. “We can hold him?” Jeez, this kid, Mark thought to himself. He repeated himself and in five short minutes Younghyun settled on the couch with a sleepy Felix. “You’ll be fine, little Lixie,” Younghyun whispered as he pressed a kiss to Felix’s hair. 

\----

Mark didn’t want to describe Felix as a sickly child but he was the one to spread pink eye to the whole family. Even Mark and Jackson woke up one morning with junk in their eyes. It was like war putting eye drops in three times a day. Jackson had to pin down the unlucky child while Mark held their eyes open. The only child that didn’t fuss or run away was Felix. 

“That’s my Haengbokkie!” Mark cooed at the smiling baby in his arms. If Mark kept him distracted Felix, Jackson could put the drops in. And Felix did everything with a smile, being sick was not an exception. Jackson went to wake the other children up, leaving Mark with the one-year-old. He took his time to pick out a cute outfit (only for it to get dirty later on in the day). 

The two family members walked to the kitchen to see all the children whining at Jackson. “Good morning,” Mark happily chirped. He only got groans and grunts in reply. “Good morning.” Mark said a little louder. 

“Morning, Ma.” Jae said, not as awake as Mark but it was the thought that counts. 

“Since when do you call him Ma. That’s Felix’s thing,” Younghyun said with some sass. It wasn’t disdain, it sounded like jealousy to Mark. Jackson jumped into the conversation while he brought food to the table. “He has no problem with being called Ma so knock yourself out. It’d be nice to know which one of us you’re talking to now.” 

Felix, in his oh-so-perfect timing, babbled out, “Ma, Ma, Ma,” endlessly as he stuffed yogurt into his mouth. Everyone around the table laughed and began eating their breakfast. 

\----

The whole family was sitting on the couch (or at least were in the living room) doing their own thing. Mark was planning his lectures, Jackson was checking work emails and finalising business trip plans, Jae and Younghyun were reading books for school - Mark felt like Jae was cheating by taking advanced English instead of a different language - and Chan was colouring silently. Felix was in between the two eldest dozing off. There was nothing to keep his attention so his eyes fell shut. 

Jae eventually couldn’t keep his eyes open either; Jackson boiled it down to the pink eye and the fact that he always strained his eyes. Jackson watched as his eldest’s body slump onto Younghyun in amusement. It was only a matter of time until all the kids napped for a few hours. Mark and Jackson appreciated the quiet, going so far as to text each other instead of speak. Mark wasn’t ready to tell the kids that they had to go back to school on Monday. He wanted to keep them as close as possible and cherish these moments while they lasted - even if they were all a little sick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you thought about this chapter in the comments. Or scream at me on social media @someclicheusrnm or @somedecentusrnm
> 
> See you guys in the next one cause I am on a roll with these updates!


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Mentions of anxiety and implied rape

Changbin rested his head against the wall of their studio, taking in the new songs their brothers had sent them. They were simple, but raw. Chan was nodding his head along with a song across the room and Changbin looked over to Jisung at the desk to see the youngest rapper crying. The song ended and Jisung hastily wiped at his eyes in slight embarrassment. “It’s okay, Sungie. It’s supposed to be sad.” Chan didn’t make a move to comfort him but if he continued to cry, both of them would wrap him up in hugs and cuddles. 

“That brings me to what we’re doing today,” Chan sounded like a teacher - even looked like one when he passed out their notebooks. “Momma told me I had to write a breakup letter to an abstract concept or something similar and I decided all of us would benefit from it.” Chan explained everything his American father had said in great detail. Mark was a professor of child development and psychology. He used some therapeutic techniques on his children and they in turn used it on their friends. Jae and Younghyun use what they’ve learned to manipulate the younger children but Chan and Felix were actually helpful. 

“I’m writing a breakup letter to my depression, if you want to write about that kind of stuff it’s fine. Felix wrote his to school for some ungodly reason.” Changbin had to laugh at that, only his boyfriend would try to break up with the school system. Chan handed out paper and fancy pens to each of them and got started on his writing. 

Changbin looked at Jisung to see he was also writing as soon as he picked out the proper colour. Changbin had no idea what he wanted to break up with, he had options like his disability or (apparently) school, but none of those sounded right. Suddenly a thought popped in his head and he put the pen to his paper. 

Dear Biological Parents, 

I hope you’re doing well. I’m now 20 - officially an adult - and living well. I’m safe, healthy, and most of all, happy. Bambam and Yugyeom - my parents - shower me with love and acceptance unconditionally. We learned that I have a disorder called Broca’s Aphasia that prevents me from communicating properly. Phorn (it’s what we call Bambam because he’s Thai) immediately had all of us learning sign language, it’s actually really complex but I like it. 

Appa is an emergency room doctor - he’s the head in his hospital - so Phorn doesn’t really work but he did model when we were children. It makes sense, a beautiful person like Phorn probably had boys and girls gathering and shouting his name. I think he even looked pretty when he had to carry a 12-year-old Hyunjinnie because he broke his ankle at dance practice. 

I’ve made a lot of friends, as I’m writing this Chan and Jisung are sitting with me. We’re part of a rap group, 3RACHA, it’s successful on Soundcloud and we’ve even had offers from entertainment companies but Chan is going to Australia for college and Jisungie doesn’t want to be in the spotlight. I kind of agree with him - if we ever did get famous I’d have to tell more people about my communication problems and that I’m adopted by two men and my biological parents only left me with mental health problems when they deserted me at the adoption agency. 

I don’t really blame you. I didn’t come in abused or unhealthy so you must have tried to take care of me. Thank you for that. Thank you for giving me up. If you hadn’t I wouldn’t have met all these wonderful people in my life, I wouldn't have had the same opportunities for speech therapy and music, I wouldn’t have found my family. I hope you are well and happy, you can be assured that I definitely am. 

But the whole point of this was to break up with you. Sorry, I’m breaking up with you. I’ve never truly known you so it doesn’t upset me about us calling it quits. It feels weird to break up with people you don’t remember and Chan told us it had to be an abstract concept but to me you are abstract. The thought of biological parents has never phased me, out of our group of 14 only two have biological parents and one is dead, so many of us are a stranger to the concept. 

I do want you to know that when you gave me up for adoption, you gave up all the wonderful memories, experiences, and events that would have come with me. Thank you for giving all of that up so Bambam, Yugyeom and I could create them together. They’re the best thing that could have happened to me. 

Sincerely, 

Kim Changbin

Changbin set down his paper and let out a relieved breath. He looked to see Chan done and Jisung still working away. Chan gave the middle rapper a smile, he probably felt as light as Changbin did. And did he feel light. Changbin understood why Mark told his children and clients to do this exercise, he felt great and there was no attached guilt that he expected there to be. He pulled out his phone and sent a blue heart to his parents with no explanation. 

Changbin knew they would ask questions about him showing love unprovoked but he’d just smile coyly at the dinner table and act like he didn’t understand their fast-flying hands. Jisung sighed from across the room, effectively grabbing his and Chan’s attention. “I don’t like how this turned out, just a heads up for when you read how awful it is.” 

Chan quickly reminded the youngest teen that this was a safe space and nobody was here to judge. That reassured Jisung and he looked down more confidently at the paper. “Want me to go first?” Chan suggested, they all knew it was going to be about his battle with depression but having the oldest rapper made them feel better. 

“Hi, it’s me Chris.” Changbin wanted to laugh at the comedic opening, “we’ve been having an on-and-off relationship for quite a while. I have to be honest with you, the only on and off I like is the idol group. This means the end for us. Sadly for you and fortunately for me, you’ll be out of my life. Here’s some advice for your next relationship. 

One: don’t loom over your partner. It’s very unbecoming that you hover over everyone. People need their space and you’re disrespecting that. You constantly were present in my life. you drew attention away from the important things like my family, my friends, my schoolwork and hobbies - sometimes you were so controlling that I couldn’t even leave my room. 

Two: you’re seeing other people. I have no idea who told you that we were seeing other people but as soon as I saw you with someone else I had to find someone that made me feel better about myself. We mutually cheated so I think it’s best we went our separate ways. Daehwi is much better for me in the long run anyways. 

P.S. I know you and anxiety work together so I blocked both of your numbers just to be safe from them too.” 

As soon as Chan set down his paper, Jisung was clapping and laughing. Chan had taken a comedic approach to the makeshift therapy session and it worked in his favour. Changbin didn’t want to bring the mood down but he cleared his throat when Chan gestured his way. 

When he looked up from his letter, twin smiles met him. It was creepy how Jisung mimicked habits from his friends - the bittersweet smile that Chan had on his face was also plastered on Jisung’s. Changbin hushed them and shrugged off the topic, “I’m not hurt about it so you shouldn’t be either.” 

In efforts to keep it moving, Chan whispered for Jisung to read his. “A or B?” Changbin titled his head in a questioning manner. “I have two letters, pick which one you want to hear and then the second one gets locked in my work drawer.” Changbin didn’t see the point in the exercise if Jisung wasn’t going to share one of his letters but they agreed to go with the second options. 

“Dear me,” Jisung started in a shaking voice, “you need to stop holding me back. The main concern I have with you is the pessimistic outlook you’ve had on our school, work, and social life. It has brought us down for years - I’m honestly getting tired of the same old routine. You need to change your point of view so that we can improve those aspects of our life. 

“I know we’ve had our fair share of obstacles especially in our home life but most of the problems we have with Jeongin and Seungmin could be solved by peacefully talking it out. Don’t believe those tinny voices that say Papa is going to kick you out. He won’t - Appa won’t let him. Don’t doubt your relationship with Minho, unload your burdens on him when he asks. He trusts you enough to tell you his worries so return the favour. You are smart enough to hang out with musical geniuses like Chan-hyung and Binnie-hyung. You’re just as talented, Sungie. 

“This was supposed to be a break up letter but this is a warning for you. If you don’t fix your mindset I will be leaving you. You’ve held yourself back for so long and I can’t have you dragging me down with you. I’m willing to give you a second chance so don’t mess it up.” 

Jisung’s voice had remained at a low decibel and Changbin struggled to hear the entire letter. It was a little shorter than his and Chan’s but Jisung had written two different letters - Changbin could see the longer piece of paper being crumpled in Jisung’s hands. The youngest rapper said it would be locked into his work desk and the sudden urge to break in later and read it washed over Changbin. He quickly tried to get rid of the feeling as Chan told them to pack up. 

\----

Chan beat Changbin to the secret letter. The middle rapper had snuck into the studio a week later to see Chan crouching at Jisung’s desk rummaging through a drawer. “What are you here?!” Changbin hissed out. Chan backed into the desk - startled no doubt - with a confused look. 

Changbin knew he didn’t say the right words but Chan usually figured out Changbin’s speech. 

“I’m looking at Sungie’s other letter. I’m worried, Binnie. Minho told me to leave it alone but I just- my gut tells me something is seriously wrong. I just have to know that he’s okay.” Changbin agreed and moved towards Chan to read the letter together. 

“We agree to intervene if this is worrying, right?” Changbin nodded as he rested his head on Chan’s shoulder. He didn’t like the waiting. Changbin wished Chan would open the drawer quicker. 

“Dear Chan and Changbin, I know you’re reading this. You’re nosy and care about me - so I’ll forgive the invasion of privacy.” Changbin nuzzled deeper into Chan’s body as guilt weighed down on him, even if Jisung said he would forgive them it still hurt. “I also want to preface this with an ‘I’m fine and healthy.’ I’ve been in therapy for a while now and the situation has gotten better.” 

Changbin vaguely remembered Jisung mentioning returning to therapy; he just assumed it was for anxiety again. 

“Both of you know Seoul National was my dream university. It has a great music program and it was still close to Minho and my family. Obviously Jeongin going to the same school was a dream too. That really pissed Seungmin off but he’s happy I’m transferring to his university next semester.” Chan paused and looked at Changbin. 

“Did you know he was transferring?” Changbin shook his head and gestured for Chan to continue. 

“There’s a reason why I’m transferring. Towards the end of the semester, my friends and I went to this frat party. I had learned in previous adventures that my alcohol tolerance wasn’t great so I limited myself to one drink. That didn’t stop someone from putting something in my drink.

“I didn’t even know her name but she grabbed me while I was separated from my group of friends. I started to lose focus but I could tell what was going to happen next. Please believe me that I fought her and didn’t want to have sex. I wouldn’t cheat on Minho, please know that.” 

Changbin gripped Chan’s sweatshirt and pushed his head into Chan’s chest. One hand came up to his hair and kept him close to the elder’s body. Changbin didn’t want to hear anymore. But Chan kept reading. 

Nothing made sense to Changbin. How could someone take advantage of his best friend? Why didn’t they protect him? He had so many questions circling his head. Chan had stopped reading and was now pulling Changbin impossibly close to him in a hug. 

“It’s okay, Binnie.” It wasn’t okay. “He’s okay, Bin, Jisung’s fine.” Jisung was probably saying that so they didn’t feel guilty. Changbin still felt guilty. 

A phone was pushed in between the two rappers’ bodies and Changbin saw Jisung’s face on the screen. “Sungie, oh my God, Sung.” 

“Hi, Binnie. Can you breathe for me? Hyung’s gonna take you home and then we can talk tomorrow. Just calm down for me, Bin.” Seeing Jisung’s face made Changbin feel slightly better but it still took a while for Chan to calm him down. 

They took the bus home - Chan said he couldn’t drive feeling like this - and Chan hugged him one last time before Yugyeom guided him inside. The eldest of the rap group walked home. When he realised he was home and not at Daehwi’s (small but homey) apartment he sat on the porch and cried. 

“Didn’t expect to see you drop by,” Chan whipped his head around to see his father. “Oh, baby. What’s wrong?” Mark rushed to his side and wrapped him up in a hug. Chan didn’t explain - couldn’t - he just let Mark hold him as he sobbed. 

“Whatever it is, I’m here for you, sweetheart.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Actually a technique we use in my household, feel free to try it if you have something on your mind. 
> 
> If you have any ideas for a chapter I'd love to hear them and incorporate them into the fic! <3333


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this while watching Eric Nam's podcast with YoungK but I feel like there's a significant lack of him in this chapter :( I promise I love you BRIAN!!!)

_MARCH 21_

_So you’re not coming home. I think all of us cried and threw tantrums. I know I personally threw pillows and broke the lamp in my room when Dad told us. I prepared myself for the worst but didn’t expect it to actually happen, I hoped and prayed that you’d make it out in time. _

_APRIL 1_

_It’s April Fool’s Day and no one played a prank on me. I wish you being gone was a prank and tomorrow morning you’ll walk through the front door and hug us and kiss us and read us bedtime stories again. Please be safe, Mommy._

_APRIL 2_

_You didn’t come home. You didn’t hug us. You didn’t kiss us. I read bedtime stories to my siblings. We haven’t seen you in a month. It was supposed to be a two week trip. When are you coming home? _

_APRIL 25_

_Channie suggested we write in this everyday but I don’t have the strength, Mom. Every time I open this journal I’m reminded that you’re so far away from us. It’s breaking my heart. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. _

_MAY 4_

_Dad made us watch all the Star Wars films today. We all laughed when Felix claimed he wanted to be BB8. Younghyun said you and Dad are a better couple than Anakin and Padme, I agree of course but I’m glad you couldn’t have your own kids. I’d still be stuck in that orphanage if it weren’t for you guys. _

_MAY 9_

_I think the thing that’s going to get me through this (week by week) is the idol comebacks. Uncle Youngjae is coming out with a new album and Dad said it was mostly ballads. I wonder how Minho and Dowoonie are doing without him around. Hoppipolla came out with nice instrumental tracks and Younghyun now convinced we need a cello in the band. _

_MAY 17_

_It hurts less to write these entries but I can’t find myself to write as much as Felix or Chan. Nothing I’m doing is interesting. At least I don’t think it is, Dad probably tells you everything anyway. _

_MAY 20_

_I feel as if I’ve lost a limb. (Or an important organ.) I lost my right leg. When I walk, I put my right leg out first. Now I don’t know how to walk. I don’t know how to go on from this. You are my everything (Jackson’s a pretty big chunk but you and I have always clicked more) and now I’m helpless. I need my leg back. _

_JUNE 30_

_All of us got sick, strep got all of us within a week and it took at least two to recover. Dad is struggling to keep it together. Why didn’t you get on that damn plane? _

_JULY 19_

_Bri and I have spent the whole day knitting. We put on a drama or anime and knit. It keeps our hands busy. The movements almost make you mindless. Bri’s blanket has a lot of holes but mine looks good. I hope you like it when you come home, Momma. _

_AUGUST 31_

_Last year you deemed me old enough to listen to your music. I fell in love with Green Day. Today “Wake Me Up When September Ends” comes to mind. I remember you explaining how the song was the singer’s lament for missing his dead father. He doesn’t want to live in the month that his father left him. I know you’re not dead, I know you want to come back to us, but you haven’t. Your birthday is in five days and you’re not here to celebrate it with us. Dad is adamant we celebrate. I understand why the singer wanted to sleep through the whole month. _

_SEPTEMBER 4_

_Happy birthday, Mom. _

_SEPTEMBER 15_

_Happy birthday, Felix. Happy birthday, me. Half way through the month. _

_SEPTEMBER 30_

_Hello, is anyone there? Where is… Is there anyone to answer me? Is anyone there? _

_You’re disappearing more and more, without a sound, from me without a reason. Was everything a misunderstanding? Were we looking at each other in a dream?_

_Why am I alone? Among all the people around me, why am I alone? I’m all alone, I need someone. I need someone right now._

_Hello, is anyone there? Anyone who can accept me? Is anyone here?_

_Come back to me, without a sound. Hold me, without a reason. _

_Why am I alone? Among all the people surrounding me, why am I alone? I’m alone, I need someone. I need somebody right now. _

_As I’m keeping my silence I’ve let everyone go. A siren rings in my head. I really don’t think this is right. I’ve got to do something. _

_Why am I alone? Among all the people with me, why am I alone? I’m all alone, I need someone. I need someone right now. _

_I need somebody right now. _

_OCTOBER 7_

_Chan’s going to be heartbroken. Just like Felix and I were. Dad’s doing his best. Please don’t be mad at him. Or us. _

_OCTOBER 21_

_Please come home, Mom._

_OCTOBER 31_

_Felix didn’t even want to go trick-or-treating. Jackson got costumes for all of us but we just watched all the Disney Halloween movies. Dad let Bri and I stay up later and watch a horror movie but I think it’ll leave me with nightmares. _

_NOVEMBER 28_

_I’ve never been so happy to not have a birthday in a month. But now we have all the holidays that come with the end of the year. We usually don’t do Thanksgiving but it’s supposed to be all about family. Someone asked me what qualifies as a traumatic event. I feel selfish to say this has been traumatic for me and our family. Do you agree, Mom?_

_DECEMBER 30_

_None of these were good firsts. I’m supposed to have these firsts after I’m old and grey and you’re gone. Today was a good day though. Everyone came over and we played in the snow. It’s been snowing since Christmas. Daddy’s given us hot chocolate everyday - sometimes if we’re good he’ll add a candy cane and whipped cream. ___

_ _Mark clenched his hands to stop their shaking. Jackson was still sound asleep next to him, arms wrapped around his husband’s waist tightly. The early morning sunlight filtering in through the curtains provided just enough light to read the entries of Jae’s “Mommy Diary”. Mark maneuvered slowly to get out of Jackson’s grasp. _ _

_ _He ignored the cold feeling seeping into the soles of his feet as he made his way to Mark’s room. It took great effort to not rush up the staircase and into Jae’s room. The door was already cracked open and Mark could see his oldest son sleeping peacefully. Mark walked into his room slowly - everything about Mark was excruciatingly slow to keep everyone in his house asleep. _ _

_ _Mark sat in the middle of the room on the soft grey rug. The walls were painted a new colour - it was a darker blue with a chocolate brown accent wall. The desk was in a new area with more pictures of the family littering the wall. His guitars were on their stands and gleaned, catching the light coming in from the window. The room was so neat, he never saw Jae’s room this clean and organised. _ _

_ _Mark heard something shift behind him. He didn’t turn around - it was probably Bri or another child - his attention was on the sleeping preteen in front of him. Arms and legs wrapped around Mark’s body, they were far too muscular to be their children (not to mention Chan and Felix would have crawled into Mark’s lap). _ _

_ _“I just had a small heart attack. I woke up and you were gone. Don’t do that to me ever again,” Jackson nuzzled into his neck and placed a small kiss. “What possessed you to watch our eldest sleep?” Mark told him about the journal entries and Jackson just nodded. _ _

_ _They stopped whispering and just sat on the rug, basking in the warmth from the sunlight and each other. This was one of the things he missed the most; the silent moments he spends with Jackson. They had known each other for forever and to not have him around for nine months… Jae was right, Mark had lost four limbs and an organ while they were separated. _ _

_ _Jae’s eyes were opening and closing, opening and closing, opening a- “Momma? Dad?” _ _

_ _“Hey, baby,” Mark hushed out, “did you sleep well?” Jae nodded into his pillow and bunched the blanket into his arms. He got out of bed to crawl into Mark’s lap, Jackson moving his arms so they encompassed both males. “I missed you so much, Momma.” Mark wrapped the blankets around all of them, the room falling back into silence. _ _

_ _The two pairs of arms around Mark were so tight and secure - he felt so safe. The safe feeling drifted away as he felt Jae shake. “Sweetheart, what’s wrong? Why are you crying, little chick?” _ _

_ _He heard mumbles of ‘don’t leave’ as Jaehyung pushed himself closer to Mark. He rubbed Jae’s back and sides to calm him down. “You’re okay. I’m back, chickadee. I won’t leave for a long time. I read your journals and as sad as that song sounds I would love to hear you sing it, baby.” Jae collected himself after a while in his parents’ grasp. _ _

_ _“I’ll go make your favourite, love. Wanna help or do you just want to cuddle with Daddy?” They walked down to the kitchen (Jae still had his blanket wrapped around him and he refused to let go of Mark’s hand) to prepare the Americans’ favourite breakfast meal. _ _

_ _\----_ _

_ _“Felix~~ Felix~~~~” Mark called out as he picked out clothes for the toddler. He had grown into the sleeping in habit that the rest of Mark’s boys developed in the nine months he was gone. “Mommy!!” Felix was out of bed immediately - running to Mark on his small, chubby legs and holding his arms up. Mark quickly set the clothes on the dresser so he could scoop his youngest. _ _

_ _“What’d you dream about, Haengbokkie?” Felix began babbling about dragons and knights and how his older brothers came to rescue him from a smelly swamp. Mark hummed and nodded as he changed Felix effortlessly. Mark started walking out of the room - expecting the maknae to follow - but heard a whine. _ _

_ _“Mommy!” a scream and a stomp followed. Mark turned to see Felix’s face reddening. “Up, up,” Felix hadn’t moved from the spot Mark had set him down in. Mark moved to crouch in front of the toddler, “you’re gonna throw tantrums if we don’t baby you. Lixie. That’s not appropriate, use your words instead. What do you have to say?” _ _

_ _“Sorry, Mommy. Can you pick me up, please?” His voice was higher and the smile on his face looked innocent. “That’s better, thank you baby. I’ll carry you to breakfast.” Jackson would call Mark whipped and a sap but Mark hadn’t done this for a long time. He needed to build his muscles back up. _ _

_ _“Juice, Mommy, juice.”_ _

_ _“Napkin!” _ _

_ _“Dance with me! Up.” _ _

_ _“Bribri, that’s my mommy!” _ _

_ _Mark dropped to the couch after he put Felix down for his nap. (Chan was even back to taking naps.) Mark felt two heads fall on his lap and looked down to see the older sons below him. “Hey, babies,” Mark greeted as he moved his hands to play with their hair. “I like your new hair colour, love.” _ _

_ _Younghyun had let his hair grow out and Jackson let him bleach it to a stark white. It was nicer for him to play with. Last night, Jackson had shown him pictures of Younghyun with braids courtesy of Chan. “Thanks, Momma. It kinda hurt when they bleached it,” he said. _ _

_ _“Hyunnie cried, I have videos you can watch later,” Jae offered while he shifted in Mark’s lap. Mark heard a cough from the doorway, Jackson had come down from putting Chan to sleep and had a pout on his face. _ _

_ _Mark moved his legs slightly, eliciting groans from the children. “What’s wrong, Sseunie?” _ _

_ _“I wanted to cuddle,” Jackson still had that huge (puppy) pout on his face, it only deepened when Mark shrugged and held the boys in his lap closer. “Let’s watch a movie, we can cuddle later Jacks.” _ _

_ _The movie was alright, but Jae insisted they watch a drama that came out in April. “Didn’t wanna watch it without you,” Jae mumbled into Mark’s shoulder. Both boys had readjusted so they could properly hug their father. The only problem was that, in this position, Jae was falling asleep. Mark found himself trying to stay as still as possible to let him nap in peace. _ _

_ _They were only halfway through the episode when Mark noticed Felix coming out of his room. “Come here, baby.” Felix obeyed immediately and Mark found himself with a lapful of Felix, his large blanket, and his stuffed animal. _ _

_ _“Mommy,” Felix whispered, muffled because his head was stuffed into Mark’s sweatshirt, “doesn’t Dipper smell good?” The lamb stuffed animal was shoved into Mark’s face and he sniffed. It was his favourite scent - usually Felix preferred the lighter scents like Pooh’s honey and Mulan’s cherry blossoms not Mark’s sheer leather scent. “Daddy had to order more because we keep using it.” _ _

_ _Mark sent a smile Jackson’s way before hugging Felix close to him. The toddler wasn’t interested in the drama but he didn’t want to leave his father’s lap. So Mark offered him his hand, Felix wasting time taking off Mark’s rings and trying to squeeze them on different fingers. _ _

_ _Chaos broke out when Chan came into the living room. Mark watched as a pout similar to Jackson’s morphed into tears. Jackson was out of his seat in moments - Mark wanted to pick up Chan but he had three bodies weighing him down. Jackson scooped the crying boy up and dropped him into Mark’s lap. All five of his family members squished together on two couch cushions and watched three more episodes of the drama. _ _

_ _\----_ _

_ _Mark found it very hard to cook dinner with a toddler in his arms. It didn’t help that Jackson was hovering around him instead of helping him make a meal. It had been a hard decision; Jae wanted pizza, Younghyun wanted fried chicken, Chan and Felix wanted a homemade meal, and Jackson claimed to not care about what they had to eat. Mark knew that last one was a lie and made sure to make homemade Chinese food. _ _

_ _It took him an extra twenty minutes to prepare the food but he did prevent a tantrum from his maknae so he deemed it a success. All the boys tried to talk over each other as Mark set plates in front of them. Mark sat in his seat next to Jackson and felt a hand on his thigh squeeze gently. Mark rested his head on Jackson’s shoulder while they ate. _ _

_ _“I’ve missed seeing you guys together, Daddy doesn’t do lonely well,” Younghyun said in between bites. Jae and Chan were nodding in agreement while Felix happily nommed on a rib bone. Mark placed a kiss on Jackson’s cheek, “don’t worry, kiddos. Daddy doesn’t have to be lonely ever again.” _ _

_ _The boys laughed and finished their meal with small talk. Mark was happily surprised when Jae and Younghyun offered to do the dishes so their little brothers could get ready for bed. Jackson stayed downstairs to clean up from the day of play and napping. _ _

_ _“Mommy, Daddy never did bath time right. You have to yell at him after we go to bed.” And then Chan got a little closer to whisper in Mark’s ears, “But don’t yell too loud - Daddy did his best.” Mark clutched at his heart, pushing the desire to cry deep inside him. _ _

_ _Jackson did do his best. Both of them knew they weren’t meant to be single parents and here his husband was - being a single father and handling four children for nine months. None of them died, they all looked healthy, and the kids didn’t hate him. All of those were wins in Mark’s book. “Alright, chickadees, let’s get you clean.”_ _

_ _\----_ _

_ _In the past week that Mark has returned home he’s made quite a few exceptions in their day-to-day routine. The main one (it happened on a daily basis) was letting Felix and Chan sleep in the same bed. Mark had to give the youngest kids credit, being in the same bed made bedtime stories much easier. _ _

_ _“Once there was a tree,” Mark began. He pulled the blankets around Chan and Felix to tuck them in. “And she loved a little boy,” a finger was placed on Felix’s nose, “and everyday the boy would come and he would gather her leaves and make them into crowns and play king of the forest.” _ _

_ _Chan shifted to engulf Felix in his arms, their stuffed animals mimicked the boys and cuddled as well. Mark continued the story when they settled, “the little boy would climb up her trunk and swing from her branches and eat apples.” Mark watched in amusement as Felix ate a pretend apple, “And they would play hide-and-go-seek,” both of their eyes lit up and Mark just knew he’d have to play that tomorrow with them. _ _

_ _“And when he was tired, he would sleep in her shade. And the boy loved the tree very much. And the tree was very happy. But time went by. And the boy grew older. And the tree was often alone.” Mark heard a whimper come from Felix and Chan pulled him impossibly closer. Mark readjusted Felix’s lamb so it was pressed up against his button nose. _ _

_ _“Then one day the boy came and the tree said, ‘Come, Boy, come and climb up my trunk and swing from my branches and eat my apples and play in my shade and be happy.’ ‘I am too big to climb and play,’ said the boy. ‘I want to buy things and have fun. I want some money. Can you give me some money?’ ‘I’m sorry,’ said the tree, ‘but I have no money. I only have trees and apples. Take my apples, Boy, and sell them in the city. Then you’ll have money and will be happy.’” _ _

_ _Mark looked down to see his sons fast asleep. He shut the book quietly and placed it back on the bookshelf. Mark took one more moment to fiddle with the blankets and stuffed animals. This was another thing that Mark missed. He always loved to watch the biological brothers interact - not to say all of them didn’t act like true brothers - it was just a different sort of connection. _ _

_ _Mark walked out of the room as quietly as he could but quickly turned back to press kisses to cheeks and foreheads. He can’t believe he almost forgot. Jae would laugh and tell him that it wasn’t a big deal but it was to Mark. He missed nine months of kisses and cuddles, he had so much to catch up on. _ _

_ _Mark exited the room and looked for his other family members. Jackson was still folding blankets in the living room, the kitchen was dark and spotless meaning Jae and Brian were getting ready for bed upstairs. “Sseun, I’m headed up to check on the boys. Join me?” _ _

_ _Jackson looked up to smile, “nah, I’m good. I’ll wait for you down here.” Mark nodded and trudged up the thirteen stairs. Both teens were in Younghyun’s room, talking and playing on their instruments. “Am I interrupting a jam session?” The strums from the acoustic guitar stopped. _ _

_ _“Not at all, Ma. We’re working out the chords for a new song.” Mark wondered if it was for the one written in Jae’s Mom Journal but didn’t want to tell Younghyun Jae’s secrets. “This means that I don’t have to sing you songs to sleep tonight.” _ _

_ _Mark watched Younghyun pout and Jae’s mouth dropped. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding,” Mark said in between laughs. The guitars and notebooks were put away in a flash and the teens settled into Younghyun’s bed. “This has to be the last day you guys sleep in the same bed, Jae’s too lanky for your tiny bed, Bri.” _ _

_ _They all giggled and got comfortable, Mark got to the chorus before the boys realised he was singing their song. Jae joined in, it was his part after all, “but today I smile. Even though it hurts, I smile. In front of you I pretend that I’m fine. I pretend I’m okay. I have to.” _ _

_ _All of them hugged, the song forgotten. Younghyun let out a stuttered breath and whispered, “it must have been so hard for you.” Mark tugged them closer to him. _ _

_ _“I always had you guys to look forward to, babies,” the statement only made the teens begin to cry. They stay there for what feels like forever, only interrupted by Jackson joining the pile. “Why are all my boys crying?” Jackson pulled faces towards him and wiped the tears away. _ _

_ _“Kay, sweethearts, we have a busy day of nothing tomorrow so we should go to bed.” Kisses were placed on foreheads and blankets were tucked beneath bodies. Jackson led a still crying Mark back to their bedroom. “Yien, baby, why are you crying?” _ _

_ _Nothing about his question was accusatory, Jackson was simply worried for his husband. Mark didn’t know how to respond. He had so many reasons to keep crying. He tried to calm himself down in Jackson’s arm, just standing in the middle of their room crying his eyes out. Jackson let him - Mark was thankful for that. _ _

_ _“Let’s go lay down and get calm,” Jackson walked to the bed and situated them so they were cozy. Thumbs were still wiping away the stray tears on Mark’s cheeks. “You read Jae’s journal for you this morning, didn’t you?” Mark nodded. _ _

_ _“He had a rough time, we both knew he would, honey. But he’s okay now. He’s gonna have times in his life like this - all of them are going to go through this at points in their life - but he has us and his siblings and his extended family and his friends. He leaned on us when he fell down. Learn from him and lean on us, lean on me, Yien.” _ _

_ _Mark tilted back so his back rested against Jackson’s chest. Quite literally, Mark leaned into Jackson. He relished in Jackson’s warmth. “You’ve been my pillar, you’re this family’s pillar. I don’t know how we’d ever get anything done without you, Jacks. I would never have kids if it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t have a great job or a nice house or spectacular friends without you. I would have gone crazy these past nine months if I couldn’t see your face and hear your voice. I need you.” _ _

_ _“You have me, Mark,” Jackson nuzzled his face on Mark's shoulder, small, gentle kisses peppered his neck and jaw. The hands wrapped around his stomach clenched, “I don’t think I’ll ever let you go anymore.” Mark wouldn’t complain if he was engulfed in Jackson’s arms for the rest of his life._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hit me up on social media @smclicheusrnm cause I need new friends that actually like kpop
> 
> Comment what you think or suggestions for an upcoming chapter! <3333


	30. Chapter 30

Jisung knew it was going to be a horrible day as soon as he opened his eyes. The sunlight felt like it was piercing his brain and he moaned. “G’mornin,” Minho slurred out as he wrapped his limbs around Minho’s body. Jisung could only manage a grunt as he stuffed his face in Minho’s soft brown hair. He took a deep breath through his nose, hoping to stave the need to throw up like his father taught him but the fragrant shampoo was too much for his senses. 

“Move-” Jisung whimpered, rushing to the bathroom across the room. He hunched over the toilet bowl and let his stomach empty. Jisung hated the familiar feeling of his throat constricting and not being able to breath between heaves. But he infinitely felt better when he felt a cool hand being placed on his forehead. A sigh left his mouth and he was cradled in Minho’s arms. 

Eventually his inhales and exhales evened out and Minho was able to coax a glass of water into him. “Do you feel better?” 

“Only slightly, hyung,” Jisung whispered back. 

“That’s okay, baby. Let’s get you back to bed. I already blacked it out and have a migraine med ready for you.” Minho brushed back Jisung’s long bangs and picked him up by his armpits. True to his words the black-out curtains were drawn and another glass of water was set on his bedside table - no doubt his medication would be beside it. Jisung squeezed Minho’s sleep shirt in gratitude. 

Minho placed him on their bed and pressed a quick kiss to his forehead. “I’ll go call Dowoon and tell him we can’t watch the kiddos.” Jisung huffed as he stuffed his face back into the cool pillow. He wanted to tell Minho that it was no problem, let their nieces come over and give Dowoon and Sana a break from the five children, Jisung would soldier through the migraine. But he had already thrown up for a half hour - Minho wouldn’t let him suffer even if the medicine worked. 

His husband was back in bed quickly and gently pulled Jisung towards him. “I hate to see you like this, Sungie. Ever since we were little kids. But I am glad that I can take care of you.” Jisung nodded into Minho’s chest. Jisung understood where he was coming from. When Minho broke his fibula Jisung had taken pride in doting on his husband. 

“We’ll get some food after the medicine kicks in, okay?”

“If it kicks in,” Jisung reminded. 

\----

The medicine didn’t kick in and Minho had to bring food to Jisung. Brunch was a quiet affair; Minho played slow R&B songs and cutely fed his husband yogurt and cereal. A lamp all the way across the room provided enough light for Minho to work on some stuff for his newest architecture contract while not disturbing Jisung’s brain. Occasionally, Minho would pet Jisung’s hair or remind him to take a drink. 

Minho prayed silently as he turned off his lamp and shimmied into bed beside Jisung. He wished his husband’s brain worked properly so he didn’t have to suffer. He listened to Jisung’s breathing even out, silently watching his eyes fluttering under his closed lids. Minho pressed one more kiss to Jisung’s forehead before shutting his own eyes and falling asleep. 

\----

“Appa, I have no idea what to do. He’s refusing to let me bring him to the hospital. But his migraine hasn’t gone away and we’re on day four. I’m worried about him.” Minho was sitting on his couch - finally in the sunlight and breathing fresh air. 

“You sound like you haven’t slept in four days,” Minho knew his dad meant well and wanted to give him a laugh but it had the opposite effect. He shoved his head into his hand not holding his phone, letting the tears fall proved easier than Minho thought. “Oh, kiddo.” Youngjae sighed before continuing, “I’d call his doctor; you don’t have to bring him in but you’ll still get medical advice. You’re his husband so they can release information to you.” 

Minho ended the call and immediately dialed their doctor. Of course, the doctor advised Jisung come in to get a real assessment but gave Minho other suggestions to fix the four-day-long migraine. Minho thanked him and left to check on Jisung. 

He found his husband on his haunches under the spray of the shower. “Sung? You good?” 

“Yes, Min. Just peachy. No throwing up, no dizziness, no migraine.” Minho was relieved to hear it, but he didn’t quite believe it yet. If Jisung didn’t have a migraine he would be standing up in the shower, the lights would be on, he’d be singing at top volume. The migraine could have subsided to a dull headache though he wouldn’t call his husband out on his bullshit just yet. 

“Alright, honey. Come downstairs when you’re dry for some lunch.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy moly! We're on chapter 30?! No wonder I'm running out of ideas... :/
> 
> Let me know what you think and if you liked the small update <333
> 
> P.S. Can you guess who my biases are in each group????


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs used: Pacman by eaJ (a bop I should have listened to when it first came out)
> 
> Dear Love by Lim Hyunsik (a beautiful song with an equally beautiful MV)

Jae had never lived without Brian. (He doesn’t count those few years of childhood.) Living without Brian proved more difficult than anticipated. In all honesty, Jae never anticipated being without Brian. They had lived together since the ages of six and four, they had been in a relationship since they were 17 and 15, even when Jae went to college in LA Brian followed him and finished high school in the states to be with Jae. 

So why did Jae have to live in Korea for two years by himself while Brian stayed in California to get his degree?

He could only describe what he was doing as sulking - pouting really - and Jae knew he’d be laughed at by his friends. Jae couldn’t help it. He felt as empty as his new apartment. His fathers had offered him a room, he’d pay rent but he wouldn’t be alone. Jae was too stubborn for his own good and refused. 

His apartment was close to his new job and Dowoon and Wonpil’s school. They kept telling him they were a phone call away if he wanted company. Jae appreciated his friends immensely but he’d let his self-pity and loneliness stew for a while. Maybe a few song ideas would come of it. 

\----

Jae sat in his studio and pressed the green button again. _The call cannot be connected. You are being directed to voicemail._ The automated woman said after a couple of rings. Jae sighed and hung up without leaving a message. 

He flipped back to Instagram and scrolled until he found Brian’s recent post. It was the most basic photo of food and drinks enough for several people. Brian had even captioned it with_ I’m just missing the one I need. _

Jae figured Brian was talking about him and had given him a call on his first break. But then he didn’t pick up. Jae checked his schedule - he didn’t have a class - and called again. Only to be rejected. 

Jae would respond in his own way then, one Brian would see eventually. He set his coffee, notebook, pens, and glasses on his desk and took a picture. _I don’t need magic. I need your arms around me at 3:29 am when the dark is too much, I need you to be real when nothing else is._ He put his glasses back on and got to work. 

\----

_Loving you is just getting harder and harder to do. Cause my head says no but my phone keeps calling you._

_And you never pick up unless you’ve got nothing to do. But you say that you want me as much as I want you. _

_Over and over like it’s Red Rover. Will your games ever be through?_

_Play me over and over, Pacman and lover, hoping you run out of quarters soon. _

_Don’t hurt me. Leave me- no! I don’t mean that. Love me all the way to death. _

_Oh, it’s killing me how fear is holding me down but I wanna hold you. _

_Oh, I might burn to the ground but see me burn with a smile if I burn with you. _

“Good. We’ll send it out to that Seungmin kid.”

\----

Jae’s phone dinged with a notification just as his head touched the cool pillow. He grabbed it off the nightstand and looked to see what was uploaded. Young One. Brian’s cover channel. Jae always looked forward to the songs his boyfriend would sing. It was one of the moments Jae allowed himself to imagine Brian was with him, singing to him. 

He opened YouTube and the video began playing. The opening guitar sounded soft and Brian’s voice was like honey. Jae recognised the song - Brian would roll down the windows of their car and shout it at the top of his lungs. Too quickly the three minute video came to an end. Jae added it to his ‘Bri’s Music’ playlist and looped the videos. 

He gently set the phone back on his bedside table and dragged his body pillow closer to him. “Good night, Bri,” he mumbled into the pillow and blankets surrounding him. It echoed and bounced off his empty walls but was quickly drowned out by the next cover beginning. 

\----

One year left. 12 months left. 365 days left. Then they could get back to their normal couples routine. Jae shut his eyes and grabbed a throw pillow. He barely remembered their routine. It had mostly consisted of sleeping, eating, and doing homework. They didn’t go on dates. Jae didn’t want to be too out and Brian respected that, didn’t like it but respected it nonetheless, introducing Jae as his best friend (not a complete lie but a stretch of the whole truth). 

Jae heard the familiar ringtone for Brian and removed his face from the pillow. He answered the call, “hey, babe.”

“Jae, what’s wrong, honey?” Jae wiped at his tears and held the phone away from him as he sniffled. He took a deep breath before speaking into the receiver. It took a solid ten minutes for Jae to convince his boyfriend that he was fine. Truthfully, the concerned tone made Jae want to cry even more. 

They ended the call after a few more minutes, simply an exchange of pleasantries before Brian’s class started. Jae sobbed into his pillow before texting Wonpil to come over. 

\----

“I brought your favourite!” Wonpil exclaimed. “Oh, Jae,” he hushed out as he took a seat next to Jae. Wonpil pried the pillow out of his hands. 

“I can’t love him anymore.” Jae said dejectedly. Just as the tears had subsided, a new wave seemed to crash into Jae. Salty and bitter. “I’m pretending. I’m pretending I’m okay but I feel like we’ve broken up even before he’s made the decision. He’s always with his friends and only calls me when he’s bored. I don’t want to lose him. I love him too much. It hurts so much, Pillie.” 

Jae was collected into Wonpil’s arms and they swayed back and forth. Wonpil let Jae sob and snivel and weep, he was inconsolable regardless. Nothing Wonpil said would make Jae feel better at the moment. 

\----

Jae dreaded Mondays. Monday was the day his biological parents killed themselves. Monday was the day his grandfather had a heart attack. Monday was the day he was abducted. Monday was the day he visited his therapist to make future Mondays tolerable. 

Every Monday Jae sat in a comfortable chair next to a familiar person for an hour. Sometimes he’d talk. Sometimes his therapist would talk. Jae preferred the Mondays when he looked out of the window to see the sun shining and flowers blooming and the conversation between them flowed properly. 

This particular Monday was rainy, the chair wasn’t as comfortable, and the room felt like an icebox. His therapist noticed and handed him a blanket he could wrap around his shoulder. He was asked the standard questions; how are you feeling? what accomplishments or goals did you achieve in the past week? did you go out and socialise?

He stuttered though his answers, most of his focus was on the raindrops that clung to the window and slowly formed veins on the clean glass. “It’s days like this that I miss Younghyun the most.”

“Who’s Younghyun?”

“My-” best friend, brother, both were on the tip of his tongue. He’d never referred to Younghyun by his Korean name. He liked to keep it a secret, like it was something precious to him despite it being another’s name. “My _boyfriend._” 

Jae kept his gaze on the window but heard a small gasp for the therapist. “Do you want to talk about him? Or why you miss him?” Jae would love for someone new to know about Younghyun. 

“Younghyun is my secret. He’s my rock, my knight in shining armor, my dongsaeng, my everything. He looks best in dark brown hair and soft turtlenecks. He writes wonderful, heart wrenching, sickly sweet songs. He’s just a little bit shorter than I am but goes on his tiptoes when he hugs me. 

“He buys us couples clothes and then lets me steal them. I could be having the worst day and then I turn to him and,” Jae huffed. “Just his smile is enough for me to feel significantly better.” His tears mirrored the window, single tears falling down cheeks to pool at the point of his chin. 

“He’s still in the states. He wanted to finish his double major, it was hard to transfer in both business and music at a Korean university. So he stayed and the time zones are difficult and I want him to focus on his studies. I just miss,” where could he start, “I miss watching kdramas on the couch, throwing popcorn for each other to catch. I miss showing him a song and getting his feedback. I wish I could sleep next to him. I don’t think I’ve slept through the night since I moved back.” 

It was silent for 20 clicks of the clock before he shuddered and drew the blanket around him tightly. “That made me feel better.” 

“Have you told Younghyun these things?”

“We rarely talk anymore. It feels as if we’re breaking up. We’ve been with each other for so long and I’ve never been this insecure about our relationship.” 

“It’s alright to be insecure but you should let your partner know. He could soothe these fears in your relationship. That’s why it’s called a relationship - both of you work towards a goal. Some relationships don’t need to have a goal, but many people need a goal even if it’s a small one. Maybe telling him these things and establishing goals will help quell the insecurities.” 

Jae took that advice with him, dwelled on it as he tidied his apartment. He went through his mail and opened the package he received. Inside was candles, chocolate, bath bombs, scented lotion, a fuzzy blanket, and CDs. In the bottom of the box was a thick envelope. 

_Dear love, _

_Please don’t be in pain because I’ll be in pain too. My love, how is the sky where you are? It’s a soft blue littered with just enough clouds for shade here. I miss cloud-watching and inspiration-searching with you. Are you also looking at the moon and longing for me? Cause I can only fall asleep to your songs now. _

_My love, we will hold each other once again and become the perfect love. We’re in this together and I have no intentions of letting you drift away from me. In the end, we will meet as we did when we first met. We should be in love. _

_We’re not coincidence, we’re destiny. I love you. Please call me when you get this. I’ll be waiting. _

Jae’s hands moved before he could instruct them. “Hello, love.” 

“Hyunnie,” Jae gasps out. The rush of emotions left him speechless and winded. “Hyungie. Been a bad week?”

“Horrible. Horrible month.” Jae sunk into the kitchen table seat. “Miss you so much, Hyun.” 

“I think some of those presents can cheer you up though, right? Maybe a nice bath can calm you down.”

“I need you. Just you.” 

“Oh, baby. I have great news. I’m graduating a semester early. I’ll be home with you in a couple of short weeks. Can you hold out for just a little bit longer.” 

“No,” Jae whimpered. He clutched the wrist that held the cell phone and sturdied himself. 

“Sweetheart, do you need me to call someone? I can get Dad to check on you.” 

Jae didn’t want his parents to come check on him and take care of him. He was an adult. He could deal with his problems himself. “I’m okay. Just really miss you. This is so hard.”

“I understand, hyung. I miss you too. I love you, Jae. Go take that bath and munch on some chocolate, alright? I’ll see you soon, promise.” Jae let Younghyun hang up and grabbed the bath bomb and lotion. He could make it. He’d have to make it. For Younghyun. For himself. 

\----

Jae’s knee wouldn’t cease its bouncing. He sat on a cold metal bench outside of the airport waiting for Younghyun to call him. His breath made a fleeting, temporary, misty cloud. His phone buzzed and a message popped up. “He’s here,” Jae whispered to himself. 

Jae turned around and was met with Younghyun. He was in a large sweater with an equally large (and fluffy) knitted scarf tucked into ripped jeans. Jae chuckled at his boyfriend’s outfit. “Aren’t you cold?!” Jae shouted across the exit. 

Younghyun rushed to him, dragging his suitcases behind him. Jae pulled him into a hug as soon as he was in reach. “I did not sit on a plane for 13 hours just to be hugged.” Younghyun whispered into Jae’s ear. He detached himself and settled his hands on Jae’s cheek and neck. 

Jae watched Younghyun’s eyes flick from his eyes to his lips. “Just kiss me, Bri.” And he did. Younghyun guided Jae’s face to his and interlocked their lips. The chill that clung to Jae’s bones were brushed away as Younghyun tugged him closer. He felt a burning replace the previous chill, blooming on his lips and cascading down his body in waves to lap at his toes. 

“I love you,” Jae said as Younghyun bit his bottom lip. Younghyun hummed in agreement and tightened his grip on Jae’s waist. Younghyun yanked himself from Jae, they were still in a pretty public place and Younghyun was considerate of others. “Let’s get home, shall we?” He held his hand out for Jae to take - Jae ultimately had to grab one of Younghyun’s suitcases but he gripped Younghyun’s hand tightly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be on the lookout for some Jae/Felix angst and fluff later this week!
> 
> Hope you enjoyed the chapter, leave some comments I love to see all of them pop up on my email and dashboard <333


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suggested by the wonderful AnnaTuan852 and Izzy_Bizzy_Bear667! This was kinda fun to write but I worry for my enjoyment of characters suffering

Jae turned on his side and squinted his eyes to see the time. His alarm read 6:04. The stress of finals and assignments loomed over him and kept him up all night. Even a melatonin tablet couldn’t get his mind to shut up and stop worrying about schoolwork. He stuffed his feet into slippers and rubbed at his eyes. Despite not getting any sleep, there was still dust in his eyes. Jae groaned when he pushed himself off his bed. 

Jae thumped down the stairs, leaning against the wall as he walked taking care to avoid the hanging family pictures. “Morning, baby, you’re up early,” Mark pressed a kiss to Jae’s temple when he entered the kitchen. “Did you sleep well?”

The teen gave a muffled ‘no’ and set his head on the table. He heard his parents whispering back and forth but he only concerned himself with the wooden table that cooled his flushed cheeks. A mug was placed next to his arm, a hand brushed through his hair and lingered at the nape of his neck. Jae sighed when the warm hand began to kneed. 

“You just have some homework to do this weekend, right?” Jackson was using a softer voice than usual. “Yea, dad.”

“Alright, honey. If you need help just yell for me. Have some coffee to wake yourself up.” One more massage on his neck and the warmth was gone. Mark asked him what he wanted for breakfast and refused to accept ‘no thanks’ as a response. Most everyone’s plate was set on the table before Jae’s siblings made their way into the room. 

“Hyung! Hyung! Hyung!” Felix screamed the loudest his six-year-old lungs were capable of. Jae groaned before putting a smile on his face and looking up at Felix. “Can we be a little quieter? Hyungie doesn’t feel good, Lix.” 

Felix dismissed this suggestion as he ran around the table singing “You’re Welcome” horribly off-key. Younghyun scooted his chair closer to Jae and tugged his head onto his shoulder gently. “Don’t mind Lix. Today’s one of his good days. He’s just excited ‘cause Dad said he could watch Disney films until nap time. He won’t bother you when you do homework.” 

\----

Younghyun couldn’t have been more wrong. Felix’s excitement dimmed abruptly when he realised his older brothers wouldn’t be joining him. Turning the so-called ‘good day’ into an ‘okay day’. So he took up residence in Jae’s bed, reciting movie after movie. Jae knew today was an exception in Felix’s routine - usually hearing Felix speak was an honour but today it felt like a curse to Jae. 

Jae hadn’t been annoyed yet, but he was reaching that threshold fast. If he had to hear Felix recite The Princess and The Frog in English and Korean one more time he would stick a pen through his eye. He loved entertaining Felix but at this moment he was trying to piece together an expository essay about gender differences, study for the hardest test in his statistics course, and memorise important dates in Korean history. Jae didn’t even want to think about reading another ten chapters of a pretentious, confusing book for his Korean literature class. 

Just as Felix finished a horribly fake Cajun accent and started the next song of his Disney karaoke, a low rumble of thunder sounded. Felix halted his singing. “Thank God,” Jae hushed out. The rain started picking up, pounding at Jae’s windows. Lightning and thunder warring with each other closer than expected. Jae wished he could finish his homework soon and listen to music. He always enjoyed watching the storm form and twirl around him from the comfort of his blankets. 

Not a moment later (while Jae was fantasising about what the storm must look like), his laptop displayed an error popup. All the changes he made in his essay were gone. “Fuck!” Jae barked out. “Bad word! Bad word!” Felix screamed over the rain and thunder. Jae knew he said a bad word, it was justified in this situation - the internet was out and he had no way of recovering his work. The past three hours were meaningless. 

Jae screamed into his arms, took a deep breath, and screamed again. Felix’s hurried recitation of a different movie went unnoticed. Jae felt his body tense and his breathing quickened - the first telltale signs of when the oldest Wang-Tuan was having a panic attack. 

“Hyungie,” Felix whimpered as he tugged at Jae’s pant leg. “Hyungie, help.” Felix didn’t know what to do, he wanted to comfort his older brother but needed comfort himself. Jae was always the best at giving Felix a warm hug enough attention. During storms like this, good day or not, Felix experienced sensory overload. He would run to Jae and let his hyung dote on him. Jae would settle noise-cancelling headphones on his head and cover Felix with his thick comforter between Jae’s legs. But Felix’s storm ritual was interrupted, no amount of pulling on Jae’s pants can rip him out of an anxiety attack. 

The movement of his jeans, the fabric scratching against his leg was too much to Jae. “Leave me ALONE! Can’t you just be NORMAL?!” Jae raged as he pushed Felix away from his body. His arms crossed over his chest and his trembling hands found purchase in the sweatshirt he was wearing. Jae drew his legs close to him so that he was squeezed into the small desk chair. Jae felt so cold. He pulled at himself to be as small as possible. 

Felix was relentless though, little hands digging into Jae’s body in search of a hug only to be pushed away countless times. A particularly harsh shove had Felix reeling into the bedside table, knocking the lamp and books that were on it. A few minutes later, Jackson was storming into the room and yelling at them. 

“Why are you making so much-” Jackson looked from Jae to Felix and back at Jae. “MARK! Get up here!” 

Jackson lifted Felix away from Jae, dodging the hands that were pushing the youngest son away. “Felix, focus on Daddy. I’m right here,” Jackson said while he drug Felix to the bed. He was digging his heels in the ground to get the maknae away from Jae. Mark wasn’t coming fast enough but he couldn’t yell in Felix’s ear. “Focus on me, Lix. Calm down.”

Jackson held Felix in a similar position Jae had put himself in, doing everything he could to calm him down. A blanket was draped over him and he was singing Felix’s favourite lullaby. But Felix was fighting as strongly as the storm outside. 

Mark almost crashed into the room, he only took a moment to assess the situation and take a place next to Jae’s desk. “Mark, I need you to help me with Lix. Jae can deal with his own problems.” Mark hesitated, he didn’t want to leave Jae’s side. If one parent was with Felix the other parent should help Jae, right?

“Mark,” Jackson gritted out over Felix’s loud screaming, “now.” 

Mark scrambled over to Jackson and Felix, kneeling next to them and checking Felix for injuries. When he saw nothing he suggested they bring Felix to a different room, a quieter room that wouldn’t allow the lightning to be seen or thunder to be heard. The three of them walked out and left Jae alone. 

\----

Jae felt alone even if his parents were sitting criss-cross on his rug beside him. Jae felt alone even if Chan laid his head in his lap. Jae felt extremely alone even if Younghyun held his hands and kissed his forehead as he tucked him into bed and settled beside him. 

In the front of his brain, Jae knew he wasn’t alone. But his prefrontal cortex wasn’t in charge of his body at the moment - it was still recovering from the massive anxiety attack his parents left him in. Felix came first, even though Felix was respondent. Felix was the priority and Jae was left to_ deal with his own problems. _

Jae was never one to deal with his own problems. He had made it very clear from a young age that he needed support from his family members to make it through a bad mental health day. His father had forgotten that, his father had pulled his other father away from him when he needed him. Jae was old enough to use coping mechanisms and calm himself; Felix was still too young. 

He had heard Jackson come back and apologise, an attempt to pull Jae out of it with no success. Jae had felt Mark’s hands on his body and shriveled away, a horrendous aversion to a gesture that would usually calm him. When his parents were met with Jae in the same crumpled position with his shins dug into the hardwood desk, they called for reinforcements. 

Younghyun sauntered into Jae’s room. He pulled the curtains closed so the lingering lightning wouldn’t push Jae further into panic. A blanket was thrown over Jae’s head and Younghyun started a cycle of movie scores. Then he sat on Jae’s bed and waited. And waited, And waited. 

He watched Jae finally stand up on shaking legs and make his way to Younghyun. The younger teen opened his arms for Jae, listening to Jae sigh when he plopped onto the bed. “Tired?” A nod. “Hungry?” A shake. “Alright.” 

So Younghyun shifted them with a struggle, Jae’s body was limp (and subsequently pliant) and stuffed under the comforter. There was a knock and Younghyun flinched. He turned to Jae as the older teenager nodded. “Come in.” 

Chan was silent when he entered the bedroom. He cautiously climbed on the bed and laid on Jae. Younghyun almost pushed their little brother off but Jae’s arms were already carding through his brown locks. “Is he responding?”

“Nonverbal, but he will if you ask him a question.”

“Hyungie, I’m sorry Felix freaked and made you upset.” How could Jae explain that it wasn’t really Felix’s fault? The oldest child knew storms overloaded Felix, Chan didn’t have to apologise for his sibling’s action. Jae hoped the barely-moving hand in Chan’s hair was enough clarification. He registered whispers from Younghyun and noticed Chan kissing his cheek before leaving. 

Younghyun grabbed Jae’s hands, rubbing small shapes into them. After thirty minutes of this, Jae stuttered out “circle.” 

“Good, can you do another one?” Jae made it through square, star, and triangle before Jae’s head rested on Younghyun’s shoulder in a more comfortable manner. “We’ll talk in the morning if you’re feeling better.” 

\---- 

Jae woke up to an empty bed, a quiet room, and two parents sitting in his chairs creepily watching him sleep. He felt like these moments were happening more frequently. That could only mean that he was becoming a disappointment. Right? Right?! 

He had been awake for two minutes and was already losing his marbles. “Hey, baby. How are you feeling?” Mark was the first to see him awake. As he took a seat on the edge of the bed he rustled Jae’s hair. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart. I- We shouldn’t have left you alone.” 

“I think I want to go to therapy,” Mark tried not to let his face show shock but Jackson, in his chair a few feet away, let out a gasp. “Ah, never mind. I shouldn’t have suggested it. I mean- it’s stupid. You’re an actual therapist.” Jae gestured to Mark. 

Mark sighed and moved to comfort Jae, “I’m not that kind of therapist, kiddo. But we’ll find one that you like and start. Don’t pay attention to Jacks. We should have suggested it after the-” Jae nodded to cut Mark off. He felt a little better but for the next few days he’d have to trust his brother/new boyfriend to keep anxiety at bay more than his parents. Not everything was going to be fixed with one confession - Jackson hadn’t even spoken yet. 

“Okay, we’ll be downstairs. Come down whenever you want, I think Younghyun went back to his room last night.” Jae understood. He still needed some time alone to process yesterday afternoon. He felt much better but he took a deep breath after his parents left. First thing to accomplish though was finishing his homework. 

\----

Jae could feel palpable tension between Felix and himself even after a week. Felix couldn’t possibly know what was wrong and Jae didn’t hold it against him, yet the youngest brother avoided Jae. Of course, he tried to talk to the maknae but Felix would run off. Felix favoured t.v. shows, toys, and even homework over being in the same room with his brother by himself. But all it took was Jae’s first therapy session and Felix being bullied (yet again) for an opportunity to talk. 

Jae left school early to attend the session - it had been a horrible day at school full of lower than expected grades and undignified teasing - and talking about his feelings for an hour proved exhausting. Mark guided him into the house and patted his butt to direct him upstairs as if he was a toddler again. Jae was on autopilot, changing into comfier clothes and shuffling to his bed. His face was smushed into his pillow and he blindly searched for the corner of his blanket. A large huff was the last sound heard for a few moments. 

Jae knew someone had entered his room when the door creaked. He was told it was Felix by the small pitter-patter of bare feet across his room. If there were any doubts, the head pushing under the blanket and body cuddling against him was enough proof. “Sorry. Hyungie has to go to timeout because of Felix.”

If Jae hadn’t been so drained he would have stifled a laugh. “Therapy isn’t like timeout. I’m going so that we can spend more time together as a family. Does that make sense?” His speech was muffled, still talking into the pillow, but Felix nodded anyway. “I like when you spend time with me.” 

“So, now that you know I’m not in timeout, will you stop avoiding me?” Felix nodded again and Jae tugged him closer for a nap. Felix shifted a little but settled quickly so both brothers were comfortable. There would be hell to pay when the middle Wang-Tuan children found out they missed out on a nap and cuddles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I appreciate all of you readers! Thank you so much for all the kudos and comments <333 
> 
> Let me know your thoughts or anything you want to see in the future (i can feel writers block haunting me)


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry Heechul, first I stole your girl and now I'm stealing your music video <3

Youngjae sat at a round table with his mouth agape. He could feel it drying out, resembling the texture of sandpaper, but couldn’t bring himself to shut it. His manager spoke for him, “he’s a ballad singer. The public knows him as a ballad and OST singer. His fandom is stable and he contributes much to this company. Why would you suggest he changes his style?” 

“It’s not a complete change. We’d just like him to do some duets with his brother and it’s easier to meld them into a rock ballad together. Both have unique tones and we want to compliment that.” His brother. Youngjae shut his mouth after a sigh escaped. 

Youngjae had been in the company longer than Jaebeom yet they still favoured the older brother. They let him be in a duo, let him produce his own songs, they were even considering giving him a solo career due to Jinyoung’s success as an actor. Youngjae had begged to be part of a boy group - he trained the hardest to improve his dancing skills. Every track that he suggested to be a part of his album was rejected. He was told by the CEO that he wouldn’t become famous because of his looks so he rarely promoted his songs on shows. 

“Hyung and I have one condition; we don’t do anything together. It’s bad enough we’re in the same company.”

The door swung open to reveal Jaebeom. There was a sly smile tugging at his lips. “How did I know you would respond like this. Youngjae-ah, can’t we be civil and perform together?”

“Well, it’s not really up to Youngjae. Both of you will do it, recording begins in a week and promotions will last two weeks while Jinyoung is filming for his drama.” Youngjae stood up from his seat, grabbed his coffee, and stormed out of the conference room. He didn’t look back to see if anyone was following. 

\----

“You should be lucky, Youngjae-ah! You’re getting two music videos and will be promoting for a whole month! Let enjoy the ride on your brother’s coattails.” The director of the day left Youngjae offended and speechless. He turned to his manager and sputtered - unable to dictate a response. His manager only laughed and patted him on the shoulder as he walked away. 

“Um, excuse me,” a timid voice rang from behind him. Youngjae turned around to come face-to-face with who he assumed was the actress they hired for the music video. Youngjae took a second to stare at her, polite enough not to blatantly check her out, and struck his hand out for her to take. “I’m Hirai Momo, I’ll be playing your love interest today.” 

Youngjae made a pitiful sound and excused himself. He quickly became distracted with the rookie group that would play the thugs to beat him up, all of them introducing themselves politely. It took no time for Jaebeom to interrupt their conversation and steal the spotlight. 

Youngjae was happy that they were asked to film the cutesy scenes first. Despite feeling silly about wearing a school uniform in his mid-20s, he immersed himself in the lovesick role. He was able to act out (not really acting as he slowly let himself fall for Momo) accepting a cartoonish drawing of himself and pushing Jaebeom out of the way to fawn over Momo’s ballet skills. Then the director yelled cut and called for the rookie group. 

To say they got their asses handed to them on the second day of filming was an understatement. The director wanted the fighting to be as real as possible - Jaebeom had joked that the four boys could punch and kick him instead of choreographing the scenes. The one boy - Mino if Youngjae remembered correctly - punched him in the fast on the third take and the other - he definitely remembered yelling at Jinwoo - had slapped him every shot. 

It was worth it though. Momo had sat next to him, slightly shivering as the sun set, and offered an ice pack for his cheek. Youngjae imagined this was how actors in dramas felt - the awkward acceptance of someone’s measly attempts of helping you - but thanked her nonetheless. The director had announced that the last take was perfect and they would resume filming tomorrow in the morning. 

A coffee cup was pushed into his hands at the early hour of 5 am. Youngjae rubbed his eyes to be greeted with a shimmering but shy smile plastered on Momo’s bare face. “You look beautiful,” Youngjae blurted out. He felt the blush creep up his neck. He heard a giggle. “Thank you, Youngjae-ssi.” And Momo left for hair and makeup.

It took five gulps to notice Sharpie on his coffee cup. Momo’s phone number peeking out from underneath the coffee sleeve. He entered it into his phone and scribbled it out. He felt like he was destroying the evidence but just yesterday Jaebeom had made plans to ask Momo on a date after filming. A little sabotage never hurt anyone.

\----

“Oppa!” Youngjae spun around to find the voice in the crowded lobby of the company. He recognised the voice. How could he not? 

A pair of hands were clasped over his eyes and the same voice spoke into his ear, “guess who?” 

“Momo-ya, we agreed to meet here. You’re not surprising anyone. And how many times have I told you to stop calling me oppa, you make me feel old.” 

“You are old, oppa.” 

“It’s just two months!” Youngjae and Momo continued their banter as they made their way to a restaurant. Masks and hats on to obscure their faces. Fans didn’t need to know quite yet that they had begun to date - always passing it off as a sunbae treating his favourite hoobae to a meal. 

Momo took her place in the booth across from Youngjae and sipped her drink coyly. “So JB-oppa wrote a song for the group and I kinda hate it,” Momo laughed at the proud smile on Youngjae’s face. “I’d rather a ballad from you but we wouldn’t fit the concept.” 

While this was true, Youngjae still appreciated the comment. 

\---- 

The annual Dispatch “Who’s Dating” article didn’t come as a shock to Youngjae. He and Momo hadn’t been as discreet as they usually were on the last few dates. Always a little too tipsy at the end of the night to be on the lookout for cameras - and completely oblivious to the time Momo was seen on his balcony in his sleepwear. The company contacted them to see if they wanted to come out to the public. Momo was a hair hesitant but eventually decided to announce it. (Youngjae had convinced her with a small little snippet of a co-ed duet with her name on it.)

\----

_In the latest update of Korea’s powerful couple, Momo Hirai of Repeat has officially moved into the King of OST’s apartment, Im Youngjae. We wish them happiness in the newest development of their relationship._

_Click below to see the beautiful video of Choi Youngjae proposing to his girlfriend of three years (that we know about). The couple said yes! We’re excited to continue bringing news about the power couple of Korean idols, subscribe to keep up to date about wedding plans and JaeMo’s relationship. _

“Jae! How many times have I told you to not call us JaeMo on social? Obviously, we’re MoJae!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy August! Hope you guys enjoyed the chapter! 
> 
> See you soon <3
> 
> P.S. Didn't wanna call it Twice because a few of them are missing if you were confused about "Repeat"


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back-back-back-back-back again, so hype, so lit, adrenaline! Enjoy the angst my dudes! <333

For as well as Jinyoung acts like he’s in love, Jaebeom couldn’t help but doubt their relationship. Worrying about divorce or separation had always been Mark and Bambam’s forte but it seemed to spread in their group of parents sometimes - this time Jaebeom was an unsuspecting victim. Possibly prompted because he watched the latest drama that demanded too much of Jinyoung’s time (it was being filmed in Thailand for some ungodly reason). 

It had taken Jaebeom a long time for him to be comfortable watching Jinyoung act on his television screen, more often than not as a straight man. His husband had reassured him that the kisses were all staged and the grand romantic gestures for the leading women meant nothing to him. Jaebeom understood, he truly did, he just didn’t like it. And Jinyoung had respected that. 

But after Jinyoung had created waves in the acting industry, Jaebeom’s curiosity piqued and he settled on the couch one weekend to binge watch every movie and drama Jinyoung had been casted in. Jaebeom thought he’d be desensitised to the jealousy he felt towards those beautiful co-stars by now but the ugly emotion didn’t seem to ever fade. This historical drama was certainly a pain in the side - Jinyoung portrayed a prince that was caught up in a harem. Jaebeom looked away from the t.v to focus on the meal he was preparing for his boys. 

\----

Jinyoung had been home for a week and not once had Jaebeom initiated touching him. Of course he didn’t shy away from the gestures, but he didn’t particularly lean into them like he would on regular days. Jinyoung figured work was busy - Jaebeom had told him that he had to push some things back so he could take Jisung to all of his appointments - but his husband usually clung to him when he came back from filming. 

He was in the middle of texting his manager when Mark’s face popped on his screen. He accepted the call, bringing the phone to his ear only to retch it away when Mark began to scream at him. Jinyoung really didn’t understand the foreigner (he was making use of three language’s swear words, Jinyoung knew that for sure) but he figured it was about something Jackson did. 

But the smile on his lips dropped when he heard Mark utter Jaebeom’s name. This was about Jaebeom. Jinyoung interjected in attempts to hear a coherent sentence from his best friend. He only got scolded for his efforts. More screaming followed. 

In the background he could hear Jackson and Jaebeom shouting as well. Jaebeom was there instead of work? He had told Jinyoung that it was going to be a late night in the studio. Jinyoung felt his knees wobble and he gripped the counter for support. 

Jaebeom lied to him. 

He had lied about something as simple as work. Jinyoung couldn’t stop his mind from racing, conjuring every possible scenario that Jaebeom could have lied to him. Was he busy with work? Did he always go to work when he said? What did Jaebeom do in his free time? Was it possible that Jaebeom was seeing som- 

\----

Seungmin couldn’t sleep - his bed wasn’t comfortable and it was too warm in his room to fall asleep. He slipped out from under the covers in search of one of his fathers. They’d be able to adjust the temperature or at least give him a fan to cool off. If he caught Jaebeom he’d even get chocolate milk. 

What Seungmin didn’t expect to find in the kitchen was his father leaning against the cabinets and the sink overflowing. “Papa?” Seungmin’s voice shook. He took cautious steps towards Jinyoung. He tried calling out to him again but still didn’t get a response. 

One step and his toes made a light splash in the gathering water. It was too hot, Seungmin stepped back to avoid it. But then he noticed Jinyoung’s whole body was soaked, the water covering him before it’s pool on the floor. 

“Papa, doesn’t it hurt?” He asked, leaning his upper body closer to get a look at Jinyoung. His phone was on the floor - no doubt soaked - and the dishes were stacked nicely as if Jinyoung was about to wash them. 

He had seen Jinyoung like this before. Jaebeom explained it to him once but Seungmin couldn’t remember what it was called. “Papa. What’s wrong with you?” Seungmin thought if he knew what was wrong he could fix it. But the seven-year-old couldn’t do anything but step further from his father as the hot water spread across the kitchen floor. 

\----

“Nyoungie hung up on me. Obviously he doesn’t care enough that you’re here so you can stay if you want, Beommie.” Mark rested his arms on Jackson’s shoulders and stole the beer can from his husband. He took a swig before Jackson could protest and handed it back silently. He left the two to arrange a makeshift bed on the couch for their visitor. 

Jaebeom hung his head, his split ends threatened to dip into his wine glass. “Cheer up, Jae!” Jackson said while he slung his arm around Jaebeom. “He cares. Mark just nags too much. He’s probably on his way for you right now.” 

Jaebeom grabbed the glass and poured more red wine into his glass. As if he was on autopilot, he brought the bottle to his lips and chugged. When he set the bottle back on the counter he was met with Jackson cheering him on. “That’s more like it!” Jackson downed his own can of beer. 

Jaebeom couldn’t remember the last time he drank this much. It was probably before they officially adopted the triplets. He and Jackson finished off their drinks before Mark led them to their respective beds and told them to sleep on it. 

\----

Seungmin had decided to get one of his uncles. He didn’t want to go alone, his triplets were woken to accompany him across the street to the Kim’s house. “Why do we all have to go?” Jeongin groaned out. “Why is it so dark?” Jisung squeaked out in fear as they left the cover of the streetlight. 

“I didn’t wanna go by myself. Jisung, don’t be a baby.” Seungmin responded in one breath. He hadn’t let them see Jinyoung. Jeongin would get too upset and Jisung would panic himself into the same state as Jinyoung. Seungmin decided he couldn’t handle that possibility. 

They crossed the street and Seungmin walked the path to the porch. He rang the doorbell by himself and stepped back to wait with his brothers. Bambam opened the door, rubbing his eyes, double taking when he noticed who was at his front door. “Boys, what’s wrong?”

Bambam ushered them inside, they hadn’t even worn their coats and it was freezing outside. Seungmin instructed his brothers to sit on the couch as he talked to his uncle by himself. “Something’s wrong with Papa. Appa isn’t home. But I don’t know how to fix it. So I came to you.”

Bambam nodded, “do you want to stay here while I fix your papa? You can wake up Uncle Gyeom.” Seungmin shook his head. He needed to know how to fix his father if this ever happened again. Bambam gathered him up in his arms - doing his best to wrap his own coat around the child - and sped walk to Jinyoung’s house. 

“Hyung!” Bambam called out as soon as they walked through the door. Seungmin shook his head, on the way over Seungmin had told his uncle that Jinyoung wouldn’t respond, his father wasn’t going to be better in the span that Seungmin was out of the house. 

They made their way further into the house, a small sigh left Bambam’s lips. “Oh, hyung. What happened?” 

“That’s why I got you! If you don’t know what to do, who can help us?” Seungmin thumped his arms against his legs in emphasised defeat. Bambam hushed him. Bambam turned off the kitchen sink and pulled the plug so it could drain. “Seungmin, can you get me a blanket for your papa?”

Seungmin left to find one around the house, in that time Bambam grabbed Jinyoung’s hand gently. “I’m here. I’m not going to leave you. I’ll stay right here, in front of you, until you feel better. The boys are alright. Minnie’s with me - he’s just getting you a blanket - Innie and Sungie are with Yugyeom. So don’t worry about them. Just worry about yourself and calming down.”

Both of his hands were wrapped around Jinyoung’s shivering one. Seungmin came back with Jisung’s baby blanket. Not quite large enough to cover Jinyoung but it did its job. “Now what can I do?” Seungmin was ready to help in any way, but Bambam explained there wasn’t really anything else to do but wait. 

“You just have to make sure Papa is safe, warm, and breathing normally. Now we wait until he’s ready to talk. We can clean up around him, you know get him dry and warm.” Seungmin was nodding along like the good son he was. 

\----

Yugyeom was falling asleep on the couch, crushed under the two seven-year-olds snoring on top of him. He was waiting for Bambam to come back - but he hadn’t even brought his phone with him so he would only know the situation once he returned home. Yugyeom had asked Jisung and Jeongin what happened so late at night. It had been almost midnight when Bambam heard the doorbell ring. 

Bambam had been at Jinyoung’s for two hours now. Jeongin had fallen asleep as soon as a blanket was thrown over him. Jisung didn’t go down as easily, he asked for warm milk, and then water, and then a story. But finally all three of them got comfortable on the couch and began to fall asleep. He didn’t think he’d be able to stay awake for Bambam. Yugyeom let his husband deal with Seungmin and Jinyoung and he’d care for Jisung and Jeongin. Divide and conquer. 

\----

Jaebeom came home to silence. It shouldn’t be silent - his watch told him it was just past 6 in the afternoon. He had finished editing most of the scheduled comebacks and only had a few photocards to shoot tomorrow. “Boys! Nyoungie!” No one answered. 

He set his keys on the kitchen table and saw a note. We need to have a talk. I’m at the grocery store - kids are with my parents. Jaebeom didn’t like the tone of the note, but he didn’t let his mind wander because it was a piece of paper - it wasn’t Jinyoung saying it to him in person. 

He sat at the table and waited. He collected his thoughts and insecurities. They were all texted out on his phone so that he could address them with Jinyoung in a mature manner. He hoped Jinyoung felt the same way. 

He didn’t have to wait too long though. Jinyoung came in silently. He put the purchased food away by himself. This was his routine (Jaebeom knew this) and putting away the food helped Jinyoung collect his thoughts. When he was done, Jinyoung sat across from him at the table. 

“Would you like to start?” Jinyoung offered, but Jaebeom shook his head. Jinyoung initiated, or asked, for the talk in the first place so he could speak his mind before Jaebeom. 

“Last night, when Mark called me, I shut down. You had told me that you were going to be in the studio. You weren’t in the studio yesterday, were you?” Nothing in his voice was accusatory. On the contrary, Jaebeom didn’t want to look him in the eye. They conveyed so much sadness and uncertainty. He hated when his husband looked at him like he didn’t know what to do. Jinyoung always seemed to know what to do. 

“I wasn’t. I went to Mark and Jackson to talk. I’m sorry I got drunk and didn’t tell you. It was a spur of the moment decision - I promise, Jinyoung.” 

“I know, Beommie. But a simple text would have worked. Can I ask why you’ve been distant? I was so excited to come home to you but then you seemed to ignore me. Did I do something wrong or offended you?” 

“No, no. You’re drama-” Jaebeom didn’t know how to continue, the prewritten conversation topics didn’t exist. “I’m feeling insecure, I guess. You were so far away and we rarely talked and I watched them as they came out and you were in a harem, Jinyoung. I didn’t know how to act when you got back. I should have told you sooner though.” 

Jinyoung sighed and reached for Jaebeom’s hand across the table. “I love you. I don’t like any of my coworkers. I see some of them as family. You’d never think I like Mark or Youngjae. So please don’t think I like actors that star alongside me.” That made sense in Jaebeom’s mind. He nodded to let Jinyoung know he understood. 

“Now, the triplets are at my parents’ for the weekend. Can we act like we love and missed each other like an actual married couple?” 

“God, yes. I don’t have to act like I missed you, Nyongie.” Before Jinyoung knew it, he had a lapful of Jaebeom kissing him. He made a mental note to talk with Jaebeom one more time before picking the triplets up to make sure he was still okay. But for now he’d enjoy his husband’s lips on his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As ALWAYS thank you for reading and comment any ideas or thoughts! Everything is welcome <3
> 
> scream at me @someclicheusrnm on social media!


	35. Chapter 35

Chan only requested that their wedding took place in the fall when Daehwi proposed to him. He classified September, October, and November as autumnal months while Daehwi included August in that category. They sat at their small dining table with a binder between them. Chan was exhausted from their planning and the 35 minutes of bickering after dinner. He defeatedly thumped his head onto Daehwi’s shoulder. 

A thin hand moved from the small of his back to the nape of his neck, Daehwi’s hand massaged the tense muscles and then played with his hair to try and relax the older composer. “All I’m saying is that we should get married in August or November. Those are the only months with less than four birthdays within our families and friend groups.” 

That logic made sense but August was too hot and humid while November was too cold and rainy. “I really want an October wedding, Hwi. We can do it on the tenth or the seventeenth, no one has birthdays or celebrations on those weekends.” The hand in his hair didn’t still, but the pressure of his fiance’s fingertips increased to tell Chan that he was frustrated with his fiance’s stubbornness as well. 

They quietly switched the topic. They successfully picked the colour for the wedding - purples, oranges, reds, and whites - and best men suits. Park Woojin (a friend of Daehwi’s) Jisung would be the best men, Chan remembered the look of mock betrayal from his brothers when he announced which friend would be beside him at the altar. Daehwi turned the page of the binder to a section about flowers. 

“I think I want red salvias, edelweiss, hibiscus, and honeysuckle in your bouquet and heliotropes, violets, white jasmine, and white roses in mine.” Chan had thought about this - he knew the meanings of the flowers and knew each bouquet would accurately reflect their love for each other. “Sweetheart,” Daehwi’s hand in his lap searched for Chan’s. “Why do you want roses in your bouquet? Do you know what they mean?” Chan nodded into his fiance’s shoulder, the movement made it seem like he was nuzzling his neck. 

“I want to remind myself that I am worthy of your love. You taught me that I am worthy.” Chan slotted his fingers into Daehwi’s hand and wrapped around him. The arm that rested on his shoulder pulled him impossibly closer and lifted to stand up. Chan allowed himself to be maneuvered to the couch. Daehwi sat down first, pulled down Chan to be seated in his lap, and their legs intertwined. 

They sat in silence for a long time, Chan focussed on the ticking of the clock and Daehwi’s chest rising and falling to meet his spine. The irritation and restlessness from earlier eased from his body the longer he sat on the couch wrapped up in his fiance’s arms and legs. Daehwi broke the quiet atmosphere, “Channie, I hope you never doubt that you’re worthy of love. I’m sorry if you’ve ever felt like that but I promise to do my best to make sure it never happens again.” Daehwi’s lips moved against his ear as he hushed out the vow. 

All Chan could was nod and relax more into Daehwi’s body. “Thank you, Hwi-yah. You haven’t. Made me feel unworthy, I mean. Thank you.” The quiet returned, but the last little bit of tension dissipated into the room. “Can we go to bed?” Chan asked. 

Daehwi pulled him off of the couch and guided him to the bedroom. They brushed their teeth and changed into pajamas together. Small touches were exchanged, a caress to Chan’s back, a nudge to Daehwi’s hip, a stroke on each other’s cheek as they laid their head on their pillows. 

“Good night, honey. I love you.” 

“I love you, too, babe. G’night.” 

\----

They figured out a date: October thirty-first. When they sent out the save-the-dates, Chan was immediately called by his father. “Sweetheart. I know I told you when you got engaged that I wouldn’t-” Mark paused to find the less offensive word, “hover, but your date is Halloween.” 

“I know what date it is. But Hwi and I made a compromise. His niece will be the flower girl and I get an October wedding. Mama- we almost fought. Over the date! So I’m not budging on this, God knows we might fight again.” 

Chan sighed and took another ten minutes to explain why they picked that date. He greeted Daehwi when he walked through the front door, “Mama, I gotta go. Yes, Hwi just walked in and we’re making sushi for dinner. I’ll call you later this week. Bye, love you.” 

Daehwi smiled, perking up at the idea of making sushi, and set his backpack on the kitchen counter. “How was your day, darling?” Daehwi pressed a kiss to Chan’s forehead as soon as he was close enough. He washed his hands, Chan started to tell his fiance about a song that finally clicked in his brain and the recording studio fiasco with a rookie idol group. Daehwi would nod and hum to tell Chan that he was listening as he gathered the ingredients for dinner. 

Making dinner was filled with laughter and chaste kisses, eating dinner was quieter with ideas of cake flavours thrown back and forth. “How would you feel about me wearing makeup at our ceremony?” Daehwi asked when there was a lull in the conversation, the question was a loaded gun and asked with such fear. 

“Of course, honey,” Chan reassured, he reached across the table for Daehwi’s hand. “As long as it matches your suit, of course you can.” Chan was nodding absently as Daehwi let the information sink in. A broad smile lifted Daehwi’s lips on their own volition. Chan was happy that Daehwi was happy. 

\----

Chan walked into the bakery with an idea in mind. He knew what his favourite kind of cake (red velvet) was and he knew Daehwi preferred buttercream frosting to royal icing and he’d keep that in the front of his brain while they taste-tested at least a dozen and a half cakes. He had his arm wrapped around Daehwi’s waist and gave a polite bow to the baker that welcomed them in. “Hello, are you the couple to try the cakes?” 

Daehwi gave him their name, “It should be under Lee.” Chan tilted his head as he turned his head to gaze at his fiance. They’d talk about last names later. 

\----

Chan completely forgot to ask about last names - in his defense, he and Daehwi were on a sugar high and then promptly crashed on the couch when they got home. They were on their way to sign and notarize the marriage license when Chan gasped. Daehwi looked around wildly at the oncoming traffic, “what?!” 

“Are we changing our last names? Like are you gonna be a Wang-Tuan or am I going to be a Lee? Oh my god! Can I be a Lee?!” Chan asked excitedly. 

Daehwi groaned as he turned a corner. “Darling, how many times have I told you that you can’t gasp while I’m driving? What if we crashed? Huh?” Daehwi teased but all Chan could think about was being a Lee. Daehwi agreed that Chan could take his name, he said something along the lines of Chan’s last name being too many syllables anyway. 

\----

“I now pronounce you, husband and husband. Mr. Lee, you may kiss Mr. Lee.”

And in the next moment, a soft of lips brushed against his. For the second time in his life, Chan thought of this as his first kiss. It wasn’t. Of course he knew that, but he couldn’t help the feel of excitement and the unknown he was experiencing. Belatedly, Chan thought to himself this is our first kiss as a married couple. That’s why it felt like a first kiss to him. He smiled as Daehwi pulled away from him. 

“I love you, husband,” he whispered before the roar of claps and cheers overtook his senses. In the quietest of tones, Chan heard “I love you, too, husband,” back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did not expect to start my 20's with wedding and baby fever but at least I have this outlet. Hope you enjoyed the fluff, see you in the next update <333


	36. Chapter 36

Clouds wandered around the sky to occasionally let the sun shine through. It had rained the day before - the breeze carried a certain coolness that wouldn’t be achieved otherwise. Thankfully, there was no indication that the rain would continue today. If the weather or atmosphere of the day was too gloomy, Minho would climb back into his car and drive back to his apartment. 

As he turned off his car, Minho searched his pockets to make sure he had everything. He took his time walking to his destination. He always liked to watch the squirrels run around and at this time of year butterflies would flutter around bright flowers. There was one particular tree - a weeping willow - that Minho sat under if he ate his lunch here. Jisung had pointed it out one visit and ever since they’ve made it their spot. 

Minho felt his feet hesitate with every step closer. He looked up to the sky one last time and let out a huff. A few steps more and he could see it. And then Minho was gently falling to his knees in the slightly overgrown patch of grass. 

“Hi, _Mama_.” 

Minho’s voice was a whisper for no reason other than he couldn’t bring himself to speak normally without his voice cracking. “Hi. How have you been? Are they keeping you clean and shiny? I brought you new flowers. Garden roses and dahlias. Appa said there were your wedding flowers. I looked up their meanings; roses for romance, love, and courage and dahlias for change, elegance, and inner strength.

“Chan didn’t use these in his wedding so I can use them at mine.” He set the bouquet in the vase beside the headstone. He reached into his jean pocket and pulled out a velvet box. He opened it and tilted so the headstone could see. “I’m gonna propose. Do you think he’ll like it?”

Minho paused as if a response would come. He wished the headstone would answer all of his questions. “I stole one of his rings a few months ago and had it sized. The ring finished yesterday and I wanted you to be the first to see it.

“Sungie has already told me that he doesn’t want your Children’s Day gift. It’s ‘too much’ for him, whatever that means. He’s still getting it - Appa won’t hear his protests - but I wanted to put his birthstone in the ring. I think the sapphire looked nice, don’t you?” Again, Minho moved the box closer to the headstone so it was visible. 

After a few minutes, Minho shut the box and laid down so his head was against the stone. “I miss you, Mama. I wish you were here to see us get married and have kids and grow up. Appa’s always there for us but-” Minho bit his lip to stop him from saying anything ill of his father. “I love you, Mama.” 

Minho laid there in the clouds’ shade. If he let his attention drift, the breeze blowing his hair in all different directions could have been mistaken for a hand. The smell of the fresh flowers surrounded him. He stayed there, unmoving and content, until the sun hung low in the sky and the air around him cooled. 

\----

Minho loved Jisung’s parents - they had become a second and third father to him even before he and Jisung began to date. But despite their history, Minho couldn’t quell his nerves. His sipped his coffee as the men came in, immediately his posture straightened. They wasted time with greetings and pleasantries. “I think we know why we’re here, Min. So if you can ask and get your nerves out, we’ll move on to the more comfortable conversation topics.” 

“May I marry your son?” 

“Of course,” Jaebeom and Jinyoung said in unison. It sounded rehearsed but as Minho gazed back and forth between the two the smile looked genuine. Minho responded with his own broad smile. “Thank you,” Minho said with a bow of his head. 

Jinyoung asked about a ring and Minho pulled it out of his pocket. Both parents 'oohed’ and ‘awed’ at the tiny piece of silver and blue metal. “I think he’ll really like it,” Jinyoung murmured more to himself. The small comment hit Minho. A week ago, he had asked his mother’s gravestone a question that that comment would have answered. 

“Oh, sweetie,” Jaebeom was reaching across the table to wipe at Minho’s cheek. “I hope this is happy crying.” Minho nodded. The tears subsided just as quickly as they sprung up. Jinyoung handed him back the ring and Minho clutched it tightly before pocketing it again. They talked for another half hour before separating with plans to talk about Minho’s proposal. 

\----

Minho kept the velvet box in his work desk’s drawer. At first, he had it in his bedside table but Jisung (the nosy little shit) always liked to look through his things. Work things were off limits though - Jisung had no desire to look at ballet rehearsal schedules and hip-hop lesson tips. So the ring sat safely in the bottom drawer and Minho didn’t have to worry about his boyfriend seeing it on accident. 

Jisung wasn’t as meticulous as Minho - the ring he bought a year ago moved its hiding place every week or so. The strategy had worked thus far but sometimes Jisung forgot where he put it the week before. This happened to be one of those weeks. Minho was out for a work thing, Jisung didn’t really pay attention as long as Minho made it back by dinner. ‘Dinner’ was in thirty minutes which left Jisung with fifteen to find the ring and five to put it in a new place. 

Jisung searched their room, the living room, and the kitchen before finally moving to their home office. Jisung scanned the bookshelves with no success and turned to Minho’s desk. “Maybe I hid it in plain sight,” Jisung thought out loud. Each drawer had its contents pushed aside with no luck until the bottom drawer. “There you are! I thought I lost you,” Jisung kissed the box and opened to admire the ring. 

He let out a tiny gasp and a “holy shit” before shutting the box and delicately placing it back into the drawer. He collapsed into Minho’s chair with a grin plastered onto his face. Jisung basked in the new knowledge of Minho planning to propose - Minho buying a beautiful engagement ring for Jisung. He was so tempted to pull it out again and slide it onto his fourth finger. He couldn’t. Minho will be home soon. Jisung had to calm his heart and act as if everything was normal. 

That was going to be extremely hard to do. 

\----

**Sungie: **

guess who’s getting engaged soon??

**Seungie:**

Are you going to finally propose to Minho this weekend?

**Sungie:**

no? why would i? Minho’s going to propose to me!!!

**Seungie:**

Then why tf did you buy an expensive ring?

Jisung didn’t appreciate the lack of enthusiasm and switched to chat to his other triplet, hoping for a different response. After a few minutes, Jisung’s phone beeped to notify him about a voice message. At first it was just screaming, but then Jeongin had calmed down and congratulated him and asked for pictures of the ring. Jeongin was as much of an idiot as Seungmin was an asshole. 

\----

Minho sat down in his specific chair and waited for his brother and father to follow suit. The food was already set on the table, the two older men were chatting about what wine would go well with the meal and Minho could care less. He just wanted to share the good news - at this point everyone but Jisung and the Ims knew about the ring that sat snuggly in his pocket. 

Dowoon sat across from him with a small glass of wine and his father took a seat at the head of the table with a different kind of wine. _That solves that, then,_ Minho thought to himself. They talked about their weeks so far, what job projects were consuming eight hours of their day, how significant others were doing. When Dowoon finished talking about Sana’s pregnancy, Minho fished for the ring. 

“I’m gonna finally pop the question this weekend. You’re practically the last to know but I wanted to tell you at the same time,” Minho’s shown the ring to countless people by now, but it didn’t mean any less to him. Youngjae let out a little huff, reminiscent of a laugh, and Dowoon was nodding to himself. 

Minho looked up at them with a small smile, “thoughts?”

“It’s _really_ beautiful, Min. He’ll love it. No way will Jisung say anything but yes. How are you gonna propose?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does Jisung say yes? Of course! 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed the Minsung chapter with actual no interaction between the two. Let me know what you want to see in the future! <333 
> 
> See you next time!


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> small little blurb cause I officially came out as nb to my best friend using a stuffed animal as a metaphor
> 
> <333 Enjoy!!!

Jackson crouched down to be eye-level with Jaebeom’s smallest child, he was notorious for being shy but his behaviour was too unusual for Jackson not to address it. He waited for Felix to distract the other two triplets in another room - it was worrying enough that Jisung didn’t move from his spot on the couch when Chan asked him if he wanted to play with him. “Can I get you anything, sweetheart?” 

He gave a timid nod, and then stuttered out, “juice.” Jackson straightened out his legs and held out a hand for Jisung to grab. He didn’t, both of his hands were gripped on the lamb and dog stuffed animals in his arms, but he did shuffle off the couch to walk with Jackson. They went to the kitchen to grab the desired juice. “Apple, grape, or orange?” 

Jisung looked up at him with wide eyes. His little fingers clenched and unclenched in the fake fur of the stuffed animals. Jackson made the decision for him and poured out the apple juice into a sippy cup. He held it out for Jisung to take, “I’ll trade you juice for the lamb. I’ll keep him safe.” Jisung shook his head silently. 

“What about the puppy, surely she can stay with Uncle Jack for a minute while you drink.” Jackson was kneeling again to be closer to the small toddler. Jinyoung hadn’t mentioned the stuffed animals being Jisung’s new comfort items - that title rightfully belonged to the pacifier the four year old still demanded when he was tired or upset. 

Jisung looked between the drink in Jackson’s hand and the lamb (or the puppy, Jackson couldn’t quite tell) before making a decision. “Them,” he stated as he handed the lamb over. 

“Yes, I’ll take care of him until you finish the juice.” Jisung pouted and retracted his arm, the lamb followed with it. “Them!” Jisung insisted. 

Jackson nodded and reached for both stuffed animals. He could hold both so Jisung had his hands free to clutch the sippy cup if that’s what he wanted. But Jisung flinched backwards. Jackson had to twist his hips to put a hand between the toddler’s head and the edge of the countertop. 

“Not him, them.” Jisung explained in simple terms. “Oh, your lamb is a them. Alright, sorry. I’ll keep them safe for you and you can keep the puppy with you. You have to introduce Lamb and Puppy to me properly after you finish the apple juice.” After the apology, Jisung was more comfortable to have the lamb in Jackson’s arms. Jisung happily sipped his juice while Jackson danced and sang with the stuffed animal for the toddler’s entertainment.


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you guess who I am in this chapter???

Wonpil hopped up from his desk to make himself another cup of coffee. It was nearing five but he had three essays due by Sunday. He had a plan; he would try to write all of the essays today (Friday) and edit on Saturday. Sunday would be a relaxation day, there was a new anime that he wanted to binge. He would need as much caffeine as he could to finish the last two essays. 

He poured creamer into his mug - Wonpil slowed the flow to watch the tendrils of white curl and swirl into the black of the coffee - a beep from his phone broke him out of his caffeine trances. He saw the preview message from Sungjin. Another message popped up right under it, but Wonpil was too busy putting the creamer back into his mini fridge. He sat back down at his desk, some of the papers and the large medical sociology book was pushed aside to make room for his steaming mug. 

He took a breath and opened his phone. 

_[From Sungjinnie:_

_So, here’s the thing; I really like you.] _

They had exchanged these words once or twice before but it still made him giddy. He replied with his own admission of feelings. Wonpil had to hold his heart, his fingers dipped into the threading of his sweater so he had something to ground him. The smile that had sprung across his face wouldn’t leave, even as he drank his coffee. 

_[From Sungjinnie:_

_I just don’t think I have the time you deserve. I barely text you and when we do it’s only for a few minutes]_

This was true, Sungjin forgot to mention that Wonpil was usually the one to initiate their conversations. But he didn’t mind it. They made up for it by talking on the phone often and for long periods of time. Wonpil thought about his response before typing it out. 

_[To Sungjinnie: _

_i have waited six years for you, sungjin. you have been my “right person, wrong time” four times. i am happy with whatever time you have. even if it’s a few texts a week. i’m busy, you’re busy. i understand that. if a text i send gets replied to a day later, i don’t care. i won’t get upset or angry. i’ll appreciate that you even responded in the first place.] _

He won’t beg - not yet - but he wanted to reassure Sungjin that he was committed. The response came five minutes later, not once did his grip on his mug loosen. 

_[From Sungjinnie:_

_The issue is the same when we tried this before. It happened the exact same way. You have a crush on me. I admit I have a crush on you. We dance around a bit before going on “dates.” Then I struggle to give you the time and attention you deserve. I feel like we’re in a loop.]_

_[To Sungjinnie:_

_I appreciate that you want to give me time and attention, but I don’t “deserve” anything from you, Sungjin. That’s why I’m asking about it right now. I don’t want to dance around it. I like you enough to be willing to try. Try and have a relationship. If we try and we understand what we both want and how we can achieve those goals, then we can break the cycle we’re in. That’s what being in a relationship is about. Trying and communicating and working things out together. _

_I want to cuddle with you. I want you to play with my hair and calm me down when we play a scary, gorey video game. I want to kiss you before I get into my car and drive away. I want to feed you stupid fries like some cheesy romcom. I want to buy you gifts for birthdays and Christmas. I want to be with you. If you’re willing to try, then so am I.] _

Wonpil was crying, the hand that clutched his heart in excitement was stuffed into his mouth to stop pathetic sobs from erupting. He was writing a persuasive essay about himself to get Sungjin to stay with him. 

_[From Sungjinnie:_

_I completely understand that and I get that you wanna be serious. I’m not sure it’s what I want. I’ve recently got the feeling that I’m the right person for you but you’re not the right person for me. It happened when we tried this before too but now it’s so much worse. _

_I’m sorry I really wanted to talk this through in person. _

_Understand that I never wanted to play with your emotions or take advantage of you in any way._

_You’re genuinely an amazing person._

_And I wouldn’t say that about most people I’m friends with.] _

The loud sobs slowly turned into whimpers. He was collecting himself - his legs had drawn closer to him and his hands were lightly tapping against his shoulders. Another two beeps cracked the peaceful facade Wonpil was imagining for himself. 

_[From Sungjinnie: _

_I really am so sorry, Wonpil._

_Is being friends still on the table? Do we break up the band?]_

Wonpil didn’t know how to respond, the last little bit of sadness shifted to anger as he let his emotions reply for him. 

_[To Park Sungjin:_

_we can still be friends. i just need some time to really get over you, break the cycle and all the bullshit]_

He downed the last of his coffee and slipped on his slippers. His door slammed behind him as he walked down the hallway, silent tears were still streaming down his cheeks and collected at his jaw. Wonpil knocked at the door in front of him. “Hey, Pil- Oh, god. What’s wrong?” 

Dowoon pulled him slightly into the room and onto the rug. Wonpil was drawn into a hug, large hands running up and down his back, but all he could do was sob into Dowoon’s collarbone. His best friend shushed and hummed at him. Sweet nothings were whispered into his neck as a fuzzy blanket was pulled over them. 

They cuddled like that for an hour as Wonpil composed himself. Dowoon wouldn’t listen to any of Wonpil’s apologises while he explained what just conspired in his own dorm room. The younger man nodded and bit his lip while Wonpil reread the texts. “I’m going to fight him. I didn’t even know you guys were trying to date. He doesn’t deserve you, Pillie. You’ll find someone better for you who makes an effort to be with you. I’ll tell all the parents that holidays this year are just immediate family.” 

Dowoon reached around him for his phone and a stuffed animal. The stuffed animal was shoved in between them and lavender overwhelmed his senses. He let his head fall into the scented fur, Dowoon placed his laptop on the dresser so they could both see the screen. The familiar opening of the anime he was binging filtered through the room and Wonpil looked up to see the episode he was on. “Thank you, Doie,” Wonpil said. He nuzzled into his best friend’s chest and focused his attention on teenagers seeking revenge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been awhile and a lot has happened, in my life, in the US, in the kpop world, etc, etc. How are you guys doing? How's school or work going? Kay! Love you guys <3 Hope you're happy and safe.


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